I feel as though I should start dating these blogs the way the captains on starships dated their logs on classic episodes of “Star Trek.”
Star Dates Log — 2004.10
Today marks the 12th day of being in complete quarantine. You can learn so much about yourself when you are alone with only your own thoughts to keep you company. You become aware of all your annoying habits because you start to annoy yourself. You can also figure out the way you would really like to live!
One of the biggest surprises I have encountered about myself is that I am naturally a night owl. I have been trying to maintain a routine, and in trying to establish one, have discovered that I am at my best after 9 p.m. It’s been a constant struggle to sleep in the evening and I’ve been extremely tired every morning. Thanks to these days of quarantine, I am able to allow my body to sleep when it wants to rest, and work when it has the best ability to function. Although the state of our country causes a great deal of stress, I can find a routine that works for me, finally complementing my body’s natural rhythm.
This is an unprecedented, difficult time. I wake up every day with fear and uncertainty. With so much unknown, it is easy to give in to despair, and to the belief that things will never get better, but what good can negativity do? In all this suffering, there are great and wonderful blessings.
Good Friday honors the passion of Jesus Christ, and His sacrifice for all our sins. Why was His suffering necessary? The truth is that through suffering, unimaginable graces can be granted. It is crucial to remember Christ’s suffering in times like these. When we suffer, we can offer that suffering to the Lord, and ask for His aid through our suffering, just as Christ’s suffering on the cross was offered up for the forgiveness of our sins.
During this period of isolation, I have become aware of how broken a person I am. It is now that Jesus Christ calls to me, He wants me to come to Him in all my brokenness. My prayers have been transformed throughout these days of quarantine because I am giving myself entirely to Jesus.
O my Jesus, I am broken and scared. I am fearful that I will not be able to pay my bills. I am fearful that I may not have a job when this pandemic is over. I have let this fear enter my being, and my positive attitude to diminish. I do not like the person I have become. I do not like the person I am when I speak to my friends and family.
In Your name, Jesus Christ, I offer up my brokenness and imperfections for the salvation of this world. I humbly ask that my suffering, no matter how small it is, may help and work towards the betterment of this world and that the world can truly be made a better place through this pandemic.
Through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.