The Father Wound

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It has become popular in some Christian circles to speak of one’s “father wound” — acknowledging that pretty much everyone was screwed up by their parents and carry a wound within them! Whether their dad was absent, too harsh, not affirmative enough, didn’t attend their every baseball game, or just generally a fallen human being, some Christian counselors think it important to grieve their “father wound”.

And yes, our parents — and others — leave us with wounds and scars and hurts, without a doubt. We live in a fallen world, and no one escapes unharmed. We must look to God to be the Father that we lacked.

But one must understand with compassion the weaknesses of others. Our parents were not perfect (even if your parents were true saints, like mine!). Our teachers and siblings and peers mess up, say hurtful things, set bad examples. All of us are frail and weak, and someday we will see the hurt that we ourselves have caused others!

And we must be careful not to blame our problems on the actions of others! It’s easy to say, “Oh, I am this way because my dad was a jerk” or “It’s because I was bullied in school that I act like that.” But we are not at the mercy of others for our own choices. We can choose to let other people affect us, or we can look to the Lord and let Him heal us. To blame our problems on the actions of our parents or peers shows how little we accept responsibility for our own life… and how little we believe in the healing power of our true Heavenly Father!


Image: Pexels / PD-US

Fr. Joseph Gill

Fr. Joseph Gill

Fr. Joseph Gill grew up in a musical family in Frederick, MD, the oldest of five children. His father taught him piano from a young age, and his mother often sang in the church choir. He began writing songs very young, honing his skill further when he received his first guitar. After his conversion, he dedicated his life and his songwriting to the Lord. Fr. Gill was ordained a Catholic priest in May 2013. He is currently serving at the Basilica of Saint John the Evangelist, Stamford, Connecticut. He shares his homilies at The Cross Stands While the World Turns.

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1 thought on “The Father Wound”

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    I would say that pretty much everyone is screwed up by our ancestors, Adam and Eve; and we carry more than one wound within us.
    This is the cause of our human weakness that Paul describes in Romans 7:14 thru 8:2.

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