It has become popular in some Christian circles to speak of one’s “father wound” — acknowledging that pretty much everyone was screwed up by their parents and carry a wound within them! Whether their dad was absent, too harsh, not affirmative enough, didn’t attend their every baseball game, or just generally a fallen human being, some Christian counselors think it important to grieve their “father wound”.
And yes, our parents — and others — leave us with wounds and scars and hurts, without a doubt. We live in a fallen world, and no one escapes unharmed. We must look to God to be the Father that we lacked.
But one must understand with compassion the weaknesses of others. Our parents were not perfect (even if your parents were true saints, like mine!). Our teachers and siblings and peers mess up, say hurtful things, set bad examples. All of us are frail and weak, and someday we will see the hurt that we ourselves have caused others!
And we must be careful not to blame our problems on the actions of others! It’s easy to say, “Oh, I am this way because my dad was a jerk” or “It’s because I was bullied in school that I act like that.” But we are not at the mercy of others for our own choices. We can choose to let other people affect us, or we can look to the Lord and let Him heal us. To blame our problems on the actions of our parents or peers shows how little we accept responsibility for our own life… and how little we believe in the healing power of our true Heavenly Father!
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