After a week of day trips to wineries, seal colonies and lighthouses during our Easter break from School, one might imagine these to be the highlights for my week. Yet what was a greater highlight for me during this Easter break was to witness how much I’ve truly resurrected from my old self.
Back in seminary, our seminary breaks were often the real testing ground of our formation. Outside of our structured timetable and beyond the watchful eyes of our formators, our true colors and nature showed up in terms of how we spent our time and carried ourselves. This Easter break was no different, except that instead of revealing areas that I still need to work on as in the past, this time God has revealed how much I have been transformed interiorly, an affirmation of His work in me this past year.
Given the greater flexibility of time during the break, I find myself more discerning of how I spend my time, who I spend it with, what I do during that time, and how to remain open to God’s invitation, guidance and wisdom.
For prayer, I find myself catching myself when I’m praying as a duty, and am able to quickly revert back to making prayer a time to simply build my relationship with Him, choosing at times to stick to traditional forms of prayer, and at other times responding to His invitation to either chill, take a walk or even sleep in as a form of prayer!
With people, I find myself less bothered about what people think of me; more assertive with my choices whilst still respecting and honoring differing views with gentleness and love; more available to respond to people’s needs without using them for my own needs; and able to place healthy boundaries when I need my own space and time for self-care and self-love.
Seeing how these actions of mine have become more second nature to me truly affirms the deeper transformation and healing God has done deep within me. The journey did not come easy, to go deep into unknown and wounded places in my life, and acknowledge my deeper brokenness and distortions. But seeing how far I have come has made the inner journey more than worth it!
I know there’s more to be done. That’s why I’m happy to be back in School for more!
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