Jesus Christ is truly the Word incarnate, for He continues to reveal Himself through the Word to me. This passage from John tells of the Samaritan woman. I know this story well but never was able to relate to it. It took the insight of a priest to enlighten a new and powerful understanding.
It has almost been a month since I moved from New York to New Jersey. Coming into this new life in New Jersey has been like a rebirth; everything is new and beautiful. I find myself praising God for every little thing I receive, and life has become a life of blessings. My points of struggle come when I have to go back into New York. The days I have to travel to the city I wake up with great anxiety, and it is a fight just to get out of bed; on my way to the train station the anxiety quickly transforms into pure fear. Once I arrive in the city I am filled with harbored anger inside my heart. Everything that I come in contact with makes me frustrated and upset, I get very tired very easily and place unwarranted judgment on others. I do not like the person I am when I am in New York. It is because my internal peace that the Lord has granted me in New Jersey feels like it is being taken away. All these negative emotions that I have towards New York truly confused me, I used to adore New York. In fact it was in New York where I found the Lord and He brought me back to life. How can I be so angry at a place that reunited me with my Savior?
After speaking to this priest about my struggle, he enlightened me with great wisdom that I would have never reached on my own. He said to me that it sounded like I went through my own crucible in New York. At first it was alarming to hear, mainly because once again I had not accepted how traumatic my time in New York really was. He also referenced the Israelites being delivered from Egypt. Colorado, my home, was Egypt and I knew I needed to leave that place in order to grow. I went to New York believing that New York was the “Promised Land.” I believed that was where the Lord wanted me to be, but in reality New York was the desert that I had to get through in order to reach the Promised Land. I found the Lord in New York because my life was so difficult and so impossible that I had to surrender myself completely to Him. Looking back there is absolutely no logical explanation as to how I survived New York. My time in New York was a true miracle. There was a significant reason for my time in New York, like there was a reason for the Israelites to endure those years in the desert. When they reached the Promised Land they were entirely the Lord’s and they were able to appreciate the Promised Land for everything that it was. My entire reality, identity and life has been transformed because of things that I endured during my time in “the desert.”
How does this all relate to the woman at the well? While I was in New York, I was digging my own well searching for the spring of water. I had faith, and my soul thirsted for the water of eternal life. The well was deep, but when I finally reached the spring, water gushed forth. I am entering into a new chapter in my life, a chapter of great gratitude. I fully intend to drink deep during this time and to take advantage of every close moment the Lord grants me to spend with His Son. Even though I have found the spring, the well can always go deeper and the Lord is always calling His people to go deeper. The water I drink now will revitalize me so that I can dig again. I know that this chapter is preparing for the next chapter.
Originally posted at Kitty in the City.
Image: Guercino, Jesus and the Samaritan Woman at the Well, 1641 (Museo Thyssen-Bornemisza, Madrid).