Amoris Laetitia, Beyond the Controversy

happy-FrancisWhen Pope Francis issued his post-synodal apostolic exhortation, Amoris Laetitia, the mainstream media and major Catholic websites were all over it, highlighting the broad structure of the document and, mostly, focusing on the tricky issue of just what exactly Chapter 8 of the text means.  If that’s the type of article you’re looking for, look elsewhere.  Instead, I want to highlight some of the other features of the document.  There are a number of issues I could focus on, and I would encourage everybody to read the entire document, carefully and patiently, or to read the particular sections that might be most applicable to your situation (AL #7).

While this is a rich document, I will limit myself to reflecting on just two issues today: (1) Chapter Four, #90-119 because it contains one of the most beautiful reflections on 1 Corinthians 13 (“Love is patient, love is kind”) that I’ve ever read in my life, and (2) Chapter Five, which focuses on “Love Made Fruitful” and extols the great beauty as well as the challenges of having children.

Love is Patient, Love is Kind
Whereas many in our contemporary world associate “religion” and “marriage” with oppressive notions of male dominance and female subjugation, Pope Francis brings to the forefront a beautiful reading and exegesis, as well as personal reflection, on the nature of love as described by St. Paul in his memorable poem from 1 Cor. 13, often read at weddings.  By breaking down each of the metaphors that Paul uses, Pope Francis shows us how the true meaning of love, in marriage and elsewhere, is about serving others, being humble, and meeting the needs of the weakest among us.  Love therefore is never about the self, about pridefully displaying one’s own importance.  Indeed, Francis notes that “the logic of domination and competition about who is the most intelligent or powerful destroys love” (AL #98).  Rather, the true heart of love is the desire, above all, to love, with no expectation of a return on the investment.  This is to love the way God loves us and we see that example most profoundly in mothers “who are those who love the most, seek to love more than to be loved.”

Another beautiful note in this section is Francis’ words on forgiveness.  Given that this is a Jubilee Year of Mercy, his thoughts on mercy here are of critical importance.  He holds up family life as an inherently challenging vocation, one where we all know the reality of sin and shortcomings.  But it is therefore the kind of place where we can learn to forgive and learn to be forgiven.  This is why the Catechism calls the family a “school of Christian life.” (CCC #1657).  Francis says that “If we accept that God’s love is unconditional, that the Father’s love cannot be bought or sold, then we will become capable of showing boundless love and forgiving others even if they have wronged us.” (AL #108)

Love Made Fruitful
In Chapter Five of Amoris, Francis devotes his attention to the concept of fruitful love.  His reflections in this chapter focus, naturally, on children, but also on the wider implications of family life.  For instance, he considers the way families impact culture and also the role of the elderly in families. First, Francis looks to the importance of children.  He notes that women, by the miracle of pregnancy, get to share in “the mystery of creation, which is renewed with each birth.”  He then says that children, while coming into being in a specific moment of time, have always resided in God’s heart, and thus, in a certain sense, the beauty of birth is not only that it renews creation, but that it in a way fulfills a dream of God’s.  Finally, women are able to even participate in this “co-dreaming” with God during pregnancy, as they await their new child: “For nine months every mother and father dreams about their child…You can’t have a family without dreams.  Once a family loses the ability to dream, children do not grow, love does not grow, life shrivels up and dies” (AL #168-169).

Naturally, the Pope doesn’t limit himself to beautiful reflections on just motherhood or the woman’s role in fruitful love.  He also has some moving and important words for fathers.  Noting that a child has a right to both a mother and a father, he goes on to exhort fathers to “help the child to perceive the limits of live, to be open to the challenges of the wider world, and to see the need for hard work and strenuous effort.  A father possessed of a clear and serene masculine identity who demonstrates affection and concern for his wife is just as necessary as a caring mother.” (AL #175)

That quote really grabbed my attention, as it on the one hand validated my somewhat natural inclinations in parenting but also to call all fathers to a more intimate relationship with their children.  Do children need clear boundaries and limits, rules and expectations?  Sure.  But that doesn’t mean that only the mother can be affectionate or that only the father bears the responsibility for discipline.  Instead, Pope Francis notes “there can be a certain flexibility of roles and responsibilities, depending on the concrete circumstances of each particular family.  But the clear and well-defined presence of both figures, female and male, creates the environment best suited to the growth of a child.” (AL #175).

But Papa Francesco wasn’t done with fathers yet!  He goes on to deplore the “society without fathers” which is so common in the West and also to call men to a sincere masculinity which, while not being overbearing, doesn’t then slide into a permissive relationship absent of any discipline or authority.  Then he really hits into something I think far too many fathers (myself included) need to deal with: balancing their lives between work and family obligations: “Fathers are often so caught up in themselves and their work, and at times in their own self-fulfillment, that they neglect their families.  They leave the little ones and the young to themselves.  The presence of the father, and hence his authority, is also impacted by the amount of time given over to communications and entertainment media” (AL #176).

Conclusion
There’s no real way to capture the beauty and richness of this apostolic exhortation short of reading it in its entirety.  But I do hope that even with these few items, which are developed in a couple of chapters, you have a sense of some of the great beauty to be found within the pages of Amoris Laetitia.  Don’t let yourself get too caught up in all the controversy; read it for yourself and follow the Pope’s advice: focus on the parts of the document that matter the most for you.

Last thing: as a pro-tip, if you download the PDF from the Vatican, the index is, for some reason, at the very end of the document.  So head to the last few pages to get the chapter-by-chapter break down in case you want to look into only specific issues.

 

 

Luke Arredondo

Luke Arredondo

Luke is a married father of three. He works as the Director of Religious Education at Divine Mercy Parish in Kenner, LA and has a Master of Arts in Theology from Notre Dame Seminary. He blogs at Quiet, Dignity, and Grace

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