The Surest Path to Joy Is Living the Law of the Gift

“The human being, who is the only creature on earth that God willed for itself, cannot attain its full identity except through a disinterested gift of self.” (Gaudium et spes, 24).

One of the hallmarks of St. John Paul the Great’s teachings is the “Law of the Gift”, the paradox that the more of ourselves that we give away, the “fuller” we become. Mother Theresa echoed a similar sentiment, that “…if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” This concept is very easily overlooked but its message is very profound – that man can never achieve true fulfillment and joy without first giving himself away.

There are many ways in which we can make a gift of ourselves. We can give our time, talents, or earnings to those who are obviously in need or give back to our communities in other tangible ways. Those are valuable and meaningful acts of charity. However, in my own life, I have found that the most fundamental way of living the Law of the Gift is much more basic – it is actively trying not to consume other people.

The habit of consuming others is something we all struggle with, especially in our consumer-driven society. It is so easy to see the person behind the barista counter as solely a means to our morning caffeine, a friend as simply a person to go to a party with so we do not have to show up alone, or a significant other as a warm body to bring us physical pleasure or emotional comfort. These unique people become only bits and pieces for us to use for our own benefit instead of seen as whole persons. It is sad and dehumanizing but we do it automatically without a second thought.

As we progress through this life, we must actively fight the carnal desire within us to grope only for what can gain for ourselves. When we live the Law of the Gift, giving to others instead of consuming them, we become more aware of ourselves as fashioned in the image of God. The way we love others should be akin to His complete self-sacrificial love for us (His love spares us nothing, not even His only Son). He did not create the human heart to turn inward, to focus on itself, to go through life hoarding and consuming. When we do, we become sick and miserable. We live our lives feeling okay on the surface but empty deep down. It is only when we give ourself to others that our hearts are truly filled. Only when we live as servants, emptying ourselves, can we feel fully alive in our humanity.

If you want more joy in your life, start by living the Law of the Gift. That does not necessarily mean volunteering at soup kitchens or giving your used clothes to charity. It is actually much simpler:  In all of your relationships, stop subconsciously asking, “What can you do for me?” or “What value can you bring to me?” Instead, ask “What can I do for you?”, “How are you?”, or “How can I help?” I promise if you do, your entire life will change. Your heart will begin to overflow. And the emptiness deep down will slowly disappear.

Amy Atkinson

Amy Atkinson

Amy Atkinson is a lifelong member of the Diocese of Arlington located in Northern Virginia. She is active in several of the diocese's young adult programs and has worked with many Catholic organizations throughout the DC/Metro area including Endow and Birthright, focusing primarily on ministry for young women.

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