I would like to say that my faith is uncomplicated — to say that I accept and embrace every teaching of our Church with a gleeful smile and without a shred of doubt. There was probably a time when this was the case; maybe in my later teens or early twenties, when the love that I had for the Lord and the excitement and novelty of living in such a counter cultural way filled me with zeal and a promise that the world could be changed and could be a better place.
Ten years later, I still love the Lord, I still desire to draw close to Jesus, and I still have hope and joy, I still love the Catholic Church, but it’s not as easy as it once was. It was easier to accept the Church’s teaching on contraception before I was married and had to face that temptation. It was easier to go to Mass when I was in college and had more free time than I ever realized. It was easier to trust the Magisterium before I read beyond John Paul II and into history, and it was easier to hope before I had experienced any significant, personal loss. Over time, I have grappled with the Church and with God, and in that struggle I have found that there are a few ways to enter into that interior conflict and emerge closer to Jesus and His Church.
Don’t be afraid to ask difficult questions. The greater threat to our faith is not that we ask difficult questions, but that we become too indifferent to even consider them. Ask questions. St. Augustine was correct when he said that, “The truth it like a lion; you don’t have to defend it. Let it loose; it will defend itself.” Take time. Ask questions. Seek truth, because the Truth can handle it.
Seek reliable counsel and documents. I hate to say it, but I really like “sound bite” information. I’m not one for reading long books or encyclicals, and so this is a difficult thing for me, but it is essential. When we are able to ask those difficult questions about the Eucharist, about morality, about the clergy, the sacraments, the abuses, or anything else, we have to seek out real and reliable information and anwers. Seek the advice and guidance of a few, diverse people. Ask for answers from individuals without twisted agendas, who are more experienced and more knowledgable, and who can give new insights. Ask for books, articles, encyclicals, and scripture commentary to delve into. It will take time, and that’s OK. You can’t cover thousads of years of history, theology, and philosophy in a sound bite.
Pray. Whenever I’m strugging with the Church’s teaching on something, I always remember playing that childhood hide and seek game. The one where someone had hidden something and, as you search, they tell you if you’re getting “hot” or “cold” on your search. That’s sort of the prayer that I pray as I am questioning and seeking. Lord, open my heart to your truth. Is this leading me toward peace? Am I being motivated by selfishness or by sincerity? Am I seeking your truth or my own will? Lord, reveal yourself to me in this search. When we seek God, we ought to ask for his guidance. Take time to pray, to ask the Lord to guide your steps. He isn’t trying to hide from us, he wants us to find him and he can help us if we ask.
Do not give up and do not let go. This is so difficult, because it’s the easiest thing to do. It is so easy to tire and become indifferent in the journey toward truth, and I feel like indifference has just made a cozy little home in this place called relativism. So many times I have thought it would just be easier to forget about seeking truth and instead, to do whatever I think feels right. Where did we come from? Why are we here? Is there objective moral truth? Do our private choices have communal ramifications? Does what I believe really matter? All of these questions demand real thought, and work, and change within ourselves. And although giving up on it all and choosing indifference and relativism seems like the easy way out, I beg you, do not give up and do not let go.
First, do not give up the search for truth. Do not give up on these questions as though they were unanswerable. The answers may be hard to find, and we may seek those anwers for our lifetime, but that does not make the search meaningless. In fact, the search for truth may be the most noble of pursuits that we can take up. Second, do not let go of Jesus and the Church. Leaving the Church, the community, and the sacraments is not the way to reconcile yourself with the teachings of the Church. Keep praying. Keep going to Mass. Keep serving the poor in the community. Keep receiving the Sacraments as your conscince allows. Seek the Lord in his Church. There are times of conflict and struggle in all of our relationships, but it is when we are faithful and steady and don’t give up that those relationships and shared love grow strong. Let your love for the Lord and his Church become strengthened and solidified in your struggles and questions. Stick with it, expect great things, and don’t be afraid.
“And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not pevail against it.” (Matthew 16:18)
4 thoughts on “What to Do When You Struggle with the Church”
Love. This. Piece.
I have been in a wrestling match with myself for the past 3 weeks about the Old/New Mass question, whether the Holy Father is legit or not, how God would forsake so many of his flock by the implementation of Vatican II, and so many other things. I am a cradle Catholic who didn’t care about religion until about 20 years ago ( I am 65 ) and my wife of 12 years is a convert. She keeps me on the straight and narrow by reminding me of God’s mercy and love. I volunteer at a Federal prison in my hometown, and have to be ready for all sorts of questions about the Faith. I know God loves us and it is up to us to love Him. I guess that is all that needs to be understood. Remember to go to Confession and be truthful. Peace and God bless.
“Do not be afraid to ask difficult questions”? That is, if you only ask the right kind of “difficult questions” that don’t require a serious answers. I attend Mass at Ss. Peter & Paul Roman Catholic Mission, a traditional Catholic church in York, PA. They have posted “difficult questions” addressed to their local ordinary and Rome over the last 14 years on questions of the immemorial Roman rite of Mass, Catholic doctrine, Catholic morality and canon law without one single honest reply. The Mission has publicly challenged the local diocese to openly debate these questions but have not heard a peep from anyone. If you want to worship God as God wants to be worshiped then you had better take the responsibility upon yourself to get the straight answers. Your work of charity is excellent but that is not “all that needs to be understood.” Continue your “wrestling match” until God, and if you are “truthful,” God will most certainly grant you the grace to see clearly with the gift of understanding what is necessary to believe and to do in order to save your soul.
Downey
My wife likes to go to mass, so we go. Christ’s teaching and the church are two different things, I think. I just ignore the priests. They’re all perverts. One of my sons had to beat one of them up, one time. After that, never any problem. At the time, I was mad at the kid but I recommend it.