There is a tendency among girls and women today to think that our wedding day will be the most important day in our lives. On the surface, that makes sense, especially when we consider that we are entering the Sacrament of Marriage. But when we look deeper we find that most girls think that is it the biggest and most important day of their lives because of all the planning and the details that go into it. I whole-heartedly disagree. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that my wedding day will not be the most important day of my life because of the little details. The only detail that matters, the only thing that will make that day the most important day is the Sacrament taking place.
Building the Foundation
The other important piece to remember is that our wedding day will mean nothing if we haven’t laid the foundation for the rest of our lives with our spouse. If we spend all of our time daydreaming about the perfect wedding, down the tiniest detail, then we may miss out on building a foundation of trust, communication, and abiding love. If we fail to build a solid foundation then the even the most beautiful wedding will be all for naught. Marriage prep (at least in the Catholic Church) goes far beyond the details of the wedding to the heart of communication and love between the couple. Marriage prep takes the couple beyond the dating phase of a relationship and dives deeper as the couple prepares to spend the rest of their lives together in service of each other and the children they will some day have. Furthermore, marriage prep takes an honest look at the Sacrament of Marriage and what a healthy, holy marriage looks like. Ridding ourselves of our lofty, fairytale ideas about marriage, we begin to have a more realistic view of the purpose of marriage, beyond the wedding day.
Our wedding day won’t be the most important day in our lives because of the countless hours we may spend pouring over each flower, place setting, and finishing detail. Our wedding day will be an important day as we enter into the Sacrament of Marriage. At the end of the day, our wedding day will only be one day in the rest of our lives as husband and wife, a drop in the bucket of the bliss we’ll share as we strive for eternity.
Beyond the Details
I can be a very detail oriented person, and I enjoy planning events and making sure that all of the little things are taken care of, but when it comes to my wedding the details aren’t really what matter. What will make that day special are three things: the Sacrament of Marriage, the man standing next to me, and the family and friends who will share that day with us. Everything else is just details. At the end of the day will it matter what font we chose for the wedding invitations? Will anyone care if we don’t have centerpieces adorning all of the tables? Will it make a bit of difference if we leave out the garter toss? I think not. What will matter is the love between us, the grace poured out in the Sacrament, and every day that will follow that day.
That being said, I do think that the details can add to the beauty and the importance of the day. On the flip side, I’ve seen countless brides lose themselves in the details and forget the point of the day, they lose the forest of marriage for the trees of the wedding day. I think that taking out the garter toss and replacing it with the husband washing the feet of his bride in imitation of Christ washing His apostles feet is a beautiful practice, a detail that adds to the importance of the day and highlights how the couple will serve and honor each other. There are so many things a bride and groom can do to add to the day, without getting lost in the details. Whether it is giving the bridesmaid rosaries (by the way, the word “rosary” means crown of roses) with their bouquets, praying over the meal at the reception, or incorporating special things about the couple into the ceremony/reception, the focus of the day should be the grace of God poured out in the Sacrament of Marriage on the couple.
At the end of the day, one cannot deny that their wedding day will be an important day in their life. However, the importance of that day comes from the grace of the sacrament and the love shared between the couple, not the fact that every tiny little detail did (or did not) fall into place.
