Asking for Directions on the Way to Holiness

I’ll never forget the disaster zone that was our apartment on the evening after my baby shower.

Every possible blanket, gadget, toy, and baby-seat lay scattered around in that 700 square foot, one bedroom apartment. I was about to go into full blown panic mode at 8 months pregnant, but my husband’s eyes lit up with such joy at the prospect of putting everything together. Here is a summary of how he, and I think many fathers, would handle assembling the array of equipment:

1. Look at the picture on the box.

2. Take out all of the pieces.

3. Try to make the pieces look like the picture on the box.

He was so excited to build these things for our baby, and he surely didn’t need directions. All he had to do was look at the picture of what it should look like, and figure out a way to get to there. And, I have to say, it seemed to work out just fine for the most part. Everything was assembled within several hours. There were a few pieces that were left over with which we had no idea what to do, but that was fine. It wasn’t until we actually tried to fold up the pack ‘n play or disassemble the exersaucer that things got difficult. Then we got annoyed, and we looked nothing like the picture of the happy family on the box. Whoops.

If only we had followed the directions, right?

There are so many times that we do this same thing with our very lives. We have this image of what we think holiness is. We think about what our lives, our marriages, our jobs, our homes, or our spiritualities are “supposed” to look like. We think that if we can just make ourselves look like that picture in our heads that everything will be fine.

The truth is, just like those missing pieces from the stroller made a difference in the long run, following God’s tedious, little directions in our lives will make a difference too. There is no mold for leading a holy life. Sure, there are the givens that we are doing everything in our power to love God and others, but what that really looks like amidst the suffering, tedium, and sinfulness in our own lives makes it a bit more complicated than that.

Sometimes, on our journeys, we might not look like we belong on a holy card. We might look like we are doubting, or tired, or fed up, or confused, or angry. That’s OK. That doesn’t mean we need to skip ahead to the part where we look all holy and perfect and think we are supposed to just be happy. I’ve tried that, and I’ll tell you, you will only feel like a phony, failure of a phony.

No matter who you are, I can say that, right now, all we need to do is follow God’s directions in our lives, which means living our faith one step at a time. That means doing one thing at a time. That means taking part in the Sacraments, over and over again, as often as possible, especially when we don’t want to. That means, most of the time, things will move slowly. It means we will get bored and annoyed. It means reading Scripture, and listening to the direction of the Church. It means having fun and enjoying life! Sometimes we might have to take a few steps back and go over a process again. That’s OK. If we are doing our best, it means we are following the directions God is giving us, and we have faith that they are leading us someplace good.

So take the time. Take the time to schlep over to the adoration chapel for an hour. Take the time to just be in school, and study for that test. Take the time to wash the dishes, or to celebrate daily mass for the 8 senior citizens that are actually attending. Take the time to hang out with your parents, to read the encyclical, or to pray the Hours. They’re all part of the directions, steps along the way.

And I can promise, the end result will look better than any picture on the front of the box.