My wife blogs about feminine genius and recently wrote a reflection on her year of wearing skirts. Unsurprisingly, at least to me, it provoked some backlash and criticism from a few faithful Catholics.
The Pants vs. Skirts war has gone back and forth across the Catholic blogosphere over the past few years, with new battles sporadically popping up when someone writes about it. The general stereotypes are: people who are pro-skirts are over-the-top reactionaries stuck in the Dark Ages, while those who are pro-pants are the normal, orthodox Catholics.
And while there is some truth to the stereotypes, my wife emphasized (to little avail) that she was normal. I can vouch for her normality, but the mere mention of preferring skirts to pants incites a knee-jerk reaction in many Catholics, who put up the shields and draw swords, prepared to repel the reactionary assault that (they are sure) is about to come their way.
A Few Skirtly Observations
I’m a man. And I like it that my wife wears skirts. Did I ask her to? No, it was completely something she wanted to do and has done. The fact is she looks quite lovely in skirts. To me, it looks more feminine than wearing pants. Note well, I did not say or imply that women who wear pants look un-feminine, but rather than women look more feminine wearing skirts. That’s my opinion; I don’t have a magisterial document to back that up, nor does this area require one.
My non-scientific survey is that most people respond quite favorably and admiringly to women wearing modest, lovely skirts and dresses. The other day I was in a coffee shop and a young lady came in, wearing a pretty dress. The heads of the patrons turned toward her, not in an ogling way, but simply because she was markedly different from the other ladies in the cafe. She looked quite lovely in her dress, in spite of the fact that her features were otherwise ordinary. So much so, that no less than two people complimented her on her dress.
Similarly, I hear the oohs and ahhs of people over the dresses worn on Downton Abbey. The ladies’ attire seems to highlight their beauty and gracefulness. The same goes for period pieces portraying Jane Austen’s novels, for instance.
An Analogy to Comestibles
“But what difference does a skirt or dress make?” you may ask. “Isn’t it enough that the body is covered in a reasonable fashion by clothing?” The argument is that pants can “do the job” just as well as a skirt can, so there is no real difference between the two, other than personal preference.
Perhaps so, but I have heard a similar argument regarding food. Namely, the argument goes that it doesn’t really matter what we eat. Food is food. Chicken is chicken; beef is beef; a tomato is a tomato. Yet, most people nowadays recognize that eating fast food is not that good for you. So while fast food may have as many calories (or more) than a healthy home-cooked meal, the latter is better for you.
So while people can survive on fast food, TV dinners, supermarket mush tomatoes, and hamburger helper, in fact they would be much healthier if they ate fresh vegetables, grow in more natural ways, and pastured meat rather than meat from confined-feeding operations. You can survive and live a good life either way, but one is better than the other.
I feel the same way about skirts. They are the better choice, for any number of reasons, but wearing pants is an okay choice too. You will most likely survive and grow to adulthood in either case.
Clothing Hits Close to Home
People’s choice of clothes is usually closely connected to their social identity. A doctor doesn’t wear rapper hip-hop outfits. An attorney dresses professionally and not in beach attire. A gang member wears certain colors, accessories, and his clothes in a certain way to identify with his gang and to tell others to watch out.
So it is no surprise that if someone criticizes what we wear, we get defensive. It’s taken as a personal attack almost subconsciously. Also, we are creatures of habit. We get used to wearing certain things, in certain ways, and trying something new is uncomfortable for us. I’ve seen women of all ages wearing skirts and dresses, and doing so handsomely, yet many women feel like they couldn’t “pull that off.” Maybe they’re right. I’m not a fashion expert. But I do feel that, perhaps with some help, they could find something that would look just as good or better than what they currently wear.
A Casual Culture
A friend of mine was lamenting recently that she and her husband went to a fancy restaurant, and most of the young people there were “dressed down” quite egregiously. She was especially focusing on the super-casual clothes that the young men were wearing: flip-flops, shorts, casual shirts.
This seems to be a sign of our times. We dress casually as if to say that we don’t take things too seriously. We “can’t be bothered” to get all dressed up, “as if it matters anyways.” After all, it doesn’t affect who we are, does it? “My presence here is enough, no matter what I am wearing,” we seem to say.
But just as the body expresses the person, our clothes affect how we present our bodies to others. They are not unimportant, or irrelevant, to who we are and to how we interact with others. When I dress well, I send a message to others that I respect them, that I take them seriously.
Now, specifically with regard to pants, can women wear pants and still be “dressing well”? I think so. Of course, all pants are not created equal, some are more equal than others. We’ve all seen pants that are not so nice and ones that are quite stylish. This may seem contradictory, but I am not attempting to make a new skirt-as-dogma here.
Bring the Noise
My wife made her blog post and was surprised at the vitriol of the criticisms, even from faithful Catholics. I was not. Even with the caveats I made at the beginning, I know that the mere mention of preferring skirts over pants will, in many people’s minds, place me firmly in the angry reactionary oppressive male camp.
That’s fine. But I’m not a member of that camp. I’m just a Catholic guy who thinks his wife looks lovely in skirts and am happy that they make her happy to wear. This is an issue that most Catholics have never even considered. They just wear what they wear as they’ve always worn it, informed largely by the broader culture or by the particular subgroup they identify with. I write this to hopefully present to women a gentle case for considering wearing skirts. Maybe they’ll contribute to your general happiness and bonhomie as they have my wife.
23 thoughts on “The Skirt that Launched a Thousand Wars”
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Yes, as soon as you mention either “modesty” or “skirts vs pants” you’re going to start getting swarms of knee-jerk criticism. (Been there.)
Here’s why (I think): most of us women want to look good, and most of us are insecure (to varying degrees) about it. Furthermore, no matter *what* we wear, someone is out there telling us we’re doing it wrong. Sometimes it’s overwhelming, and it’s easy to feel like whatever we wear is *making a statement* and we’re often too tired to make a statement, we are just out of cereal and need to make a grocery store run. I think women universally hate this system, which is why we knee-jerk react. I think for many of us, it can feel like “Look. I know I’m ugly, out of style, and wearing the wrong clothes. I don’t have the energy for another lecture about it right now.”
I know this isn’t what you mean, but these conversations often feel that way. I really appreciate your “here’s something to consider” tone, as opposed to the dogmatic tone many take on this issue. I mostly wear pants, in part because I’m short and my feet never hit the floor, so I spend a lot of my couch/chair time sitting cross-legged. And in part because I like pants better and I’m more comfortable and confident in them – and I think comfort and confidence contributes greatly to feminine beauty. When I wear a skirt, a good deal of my brain is occupied with vigilance of how I’m sitting and moving, and less of my brain is available for everything else I should be doing, so if I wear pants, I am better able to give my best to the people around me.
It’s not a dogmatic issue, and I think we shouldn’t make it one. I wish the energy spent in these heated arguments would be spent on something more important.
Good points, Mary, and thanks for your thoughtful consideration. Women really are bombarded from all sides on how to dress, and with so many responsibilities, adding one more thing can be overwhelming. God love you!
It’s hard to imagine how anyone is making you listen to any lectures about modesty. Mr. Rose certainly didn’t make you read his post. Is your pastor constantly talking about it in his homilies or something?
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I personally like skirts and dresses because they are more forgiving of my figure flaws than pants are. Pants show off the fact that my hips and buttocks are a considerable amount larger than I would like them to be, but a full skirt not only makes me look feminine but disguises those flaws.
I like them both, and think women look great in either. I also love that women in our society have the freedom to dress as they wish (within a few limits).
Thanks, Devin.
I love the way I feel in skirts and dresses and the way people react to me when I wear them. Men have a tendency to behave in a more gentleman-like fashion, and I’ve found that wearing skirts helps me to walk, speak, and act as a lady.
In my anecdotal experience, women will go to fisticuffs over clothes.
The bottom line is that there was an era when men were men and women were women and would dress according to their gender. It was much more fun than this modern metro men and metro women, which is really much more encompassing than in choice of attire.
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I wore a skirt to Mass after which there was a picnic with lively games, and I took a tumble backwards and nearly flashed everyone (even a longer skirt can do this). If I am going to wear one, and I do not infrequently, I usually like leggings underneath for this reason.
People who look good in their clothes turn my head either way.
“The same goes for period pieces portraying Jane Austen’s novels, for
instance…”
As long as we bear in mind that there was plenty wrong with that age too — as there is with every age, it seems.
Women wearing pants are simply acting as supply mules for the revolution. It’s unnatural, which is why the Jews condemned the practice of women wearing men’s clothing (even they had to fight revolutionary impulses). The take-it-or-leave-it bunch with respect to women (and, of course, by extension, men) wearing sex-appropriate clothing are not to be taken seriously. There is no difference between a G.E.M. Anscombe and one of these nuns on a bus creatures.
Does it matter what anybody wears. Many women get upset about comments on dress styles and quite rightly so but they also pass comment about men. They pushed for the freedom to wear anything and without comment, having achieved the first, in certain quarters they haven’t for the second. Yet a man is still expected to be traditional. Why? Equality, freedom of choice applies to both genders. I have heard many religious reasons from women about men in skirts or womenswear yet Deuteronomy 22-5 applies to both. If we are to live by the standards of the Bible then lets consider other aspects of the Bible that also affect women as well as men like Tattoos, short hair etc. My site http://www.theskirtedman.eu states why I wear skirts and do not seek permission from society with its double standards on many issues. It is direct but then as a man I feel I too have rights and freedom ignored by others that are concerned about their own restrictions. Feminism was formed to stand against discrimination and gender equality and rightly so. One sided gender bias is simply the ‘status quo’. What we choose to do, wear, read or whatever, provided it is doing no physical harm to the running of a civilised society is our own choice. The trouble with society, many cannot acknowledge others by insisting that you are wrong but there way of life is correct.
I basically agree with your article, Devin. Although I enjoy wearing jeans and pants (and tunics-with-leggings, gasp), I like dresses best. Dresses are dressier, and it’s nice to dress up. I’m glad that your wife enjoys her clothes, and I do think that Catholics should care about fashion per se, not just because they need to cover an assortment of shameful body parts.
The backlash is also understandable, though. Articles like these often provide a forum for people like “franciscofranco” to say rude things like “Women wearing pants are simply acting as supply mules for the revolution.” And there’s no woman, be she from modern America or Edwardian England, who wants to listen to rude or passive-aggressive remarks about her clothing, or be compared to a donkey-horse hybrid.
To wrap up, I hope that any Catholic woman who 1. likes clothes or 2. is dissatisfied with her clothes will investigate the realm of the fashion blogs. There is a fashion blog catering to every look and lifestyle imaginable. There are lots of thrifting blogs for the frugal girl. And there’s Pinterest, and Etsy, and Polyvore… it’s inexhaustible, really. As far as magazines go, Lucky is alright — just clothes and makeup, no Cosmo sex articles.
And if you are an adorable tomboy/gamine who never wears skirts, so be it!
At one time, such as Biblical times both men and women wore skirt and even now the Pope wears a skirt. So it is impossible to argue that skirts are intrinsically more feminine. It is also impossible to argue that the modern skirt which is at the knee or higher is more modest in pants since the woman’s legs are visible whereas with pants they are completely covered. And of course there is the reason women and men started wearing pants in the first place: they are more comfortable and more practical. For example, here in the north I would turn into a ice cube if I wore a skirt in the winter. I remember being so envious in Catholic school of the boys who wore nice warm uniform pants to school but girls were required to freeze in their skirts. However, I am more than happy to support women who prefer skirts just as I hope they support me in my preference for pants. I have a hard time believing that orthodox Catholic women criticize other women for wearing skirts. What they might criticize and what I criticize is the idea that there is some kind of Catholic teaching that says women should only wear skirts. I would agree that God wants to everyone to dress modestly but there is absolutely NOTHING in Catholic teaching that says specifically what women should or should not be wearing and to imply otherwise is heresy.
I am Anglo Catholic and follow the Roman Catholic guidelines for modesty. Women wearing dresses, skirts, sleeve to the elbow, skirts length covering the knee , and neck line two inches below the neck. And not transparent, not tight. Now I never tell people what to wear. But, I have just minding my own business been attacked by women at Walmart that I don’t even know. They walk up and say,”Why are you wearing skirts, dresses?” with an angry sneer. I hadn’t known this was such a problem in this country. Now there are protestant pastors saying it is against the Bible for women to wear skirts and dresses. Well I am going to continue wearing my skirts and the women will just have to walk to another part of the stores. When I left the country 35 years ago this dress thing didn’t exist. I’m sorry I’m not a feminist and I love being a woman.
Join the club. I get criticized by conservative Catholics for wearing pants but I would never think of telling someone else what they should and should not wear. Why can’t everyone just mind their own business?
You are absolutely right. They should mind their own business. You will not believe it in my church a lady called me an Amish and in the next breath called another lady in the church a whore. I mean. Where do they get off judging people like that.
If I were you I would change parishes. I did and that helped.
I think I need to change the State.
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What a beautiful testimony. Thank you for sharing!
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Skirts are cute and comfortable to wear. Your blog is just awesome loved reading it. Thanks!!!