After spending the last few years diving into the depths of Catholicism and immersing myself in things like daily Mass, the Rosary, and other typical Catholic practices, I’ve come to a realization: I actually struggle a lot with the Catholic Church and so many of her teachings.
Confession
The Catholic Church tells us we have to go to confession with a priest at least once a year. Who are they to tell me that I have to come face to face with my sins and confess them to a priest? Just because the Church says I have to hear those words of absolution doesn’t mean that I want to say my sins out loud for another living, breathing human being to hear.
Stuck in Her Ways
The Catholic Church thinks she’s got all the answers and never feels the need to get “up with the times”. Women’s ordination? Nope. Artificial birth control? She says no, that’s not natural, and gets in the way of a holy marriage. Gay marriage? Nope, the Church teaches that marriage is between a man and a woman, regardless of what the law of the land or popular vote says. Pre-marital sex? Another big fat no from Mother Church, she teaches that even if all of your hormones are raging you have to wait for marriage to have sex, or else you are a sinner. She even teaches that other things (i.e. oral sex, “fooling around”, etc.) are off-limits outside marriage (and even inside marriage if the end result is not open to life). She gets to be a stick in the mud, no matter what is happening in the world.
Love My Enemies
Mother Church teaches me that I should love my enemies and pray for those who persecute me. She tells me I should pray for the guy who nearly raped me, I should forgive all of those who hurt me, and give my other cheek to those who scoff at me. While the Church might acknowledge that loving my enemies is hard, she doesn’t give me a free pass or a pat on the back, she simply tells me to love them anyway.
Forgive Others
Not only does the Church teach that I should love my enemies, she also tells me I need to forgive others. That jerk who cut me off in traffic and made me spill my drink all over my new dress on the way to work? I need to forgive him? What about that ex-boyfriend that just won’t leave me alone, despite the fact that he’s been told to stay out of my life? I have to forgive him too? That family member who has caused my immediate family more pain and strife than words can tell? They need and somehow deserve forgiveness too? No wonder people dislike the Church, this whole forgive your brother not seven, but seventy-time-seven thing is tough stuff.
In the End
In the end I’ve come to realize that all of the reasons I (and so many others) hate/struggle with the Catholic Church are all of the same reasons I love her so dearly. Coming face to face with my sins, hearing them out loud, and telling them to another living, breathing human being is one of the most humbling acts on the face of the planet.
The issues she is a “stick in the mud” on? I love her for that, too. She is unwavering and holds fast to Truth like an anchor in the storm. The world may change its mind a thousand times a week on even the most basic issues, but the Church holds to truth and weathers the storm.
Even though her teachings can sometimes be hard to swallow, I’ve always found that following them leads to greater obedience, greater happiness, peace, and joy. Loving my enemies and forgiving others is difficult, but oh-so-necessary if I want to see and love as God does. You see, the Catholic Church may be a tough pill to swallow, but in all of my struggles with the faith over the years, I’ve been invited and challenged to look within myself. Looking within myself I find that the very teachings and practices I struggle with the most are the ones I need so desperately. In the presence of God, in the home of the Catholic Church, I’m challenged to rid myself of pride, die to my own desires, and rise to His glory.
In the end I realize that I don’t hate the Church at all. In fact, I love her for challenging me and pushing me to holiness, even when I’m tired and the road ahead is long and winding. If countless saints have gone before me, walking this difficult road to holiness, then who’s to say that I can’t do the same?
13 thoughts on “Why I Struggle with the Catholic Church”
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Loved this article. After being away from the Catholic Church for 30 years, I have found that be bending our knees to the Church’s teachings, as we go through the difficulties of swallowing our pride, we find true happiness starts to take over. Instead of dwelling on how we were cheated out of this, or how we aren’t appreciated enough, or whatever self centered thought our worldly self brings upon us, we only find sadness and depression.
As our creator, God knows us better than any man, scientists, psychiatrist, or whoever, will ever know us. By following his directives, we do find as great a happiness and contentment as is available here on Earth.
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After struggling with these issues, I also came to the conclusion that Mother church really does know best.
Thank you for identifying it as a “love/hate” struggle! I’ve struggled with the Church often for years now, even departing it for five years for the Episcopal Church. I timidly returned, and still I have gripes. But I do love her, regardless. Primarily because of its often shameful engagement/entanglement with monarchy and secular power in the past.
The Crusades, the Inquisition, among several others. It has often made we wonder how the original Church of Christ could fail so magnificently to “turn the other cheek”?
Maybe your real difficulty is that you only know the made-for-TV-movie pop culture version of the history of the “Crusades, the Inquisition, among several others”. Try learning the real history. You’ll be more understanding of “the original Church of Christ” and the living stones of which His Church is built. Christians aren’t perfect but they’re rarely as horrible as the contra-Christianity crowd portray them.
That was a problem; I am happy to admit when I was mistaken or misled. Still, I am dismayed that many traditionalists *seemingly* brush aside concerns about the sex abuse scandals and will defend the clergy at all costs. Look at the still pulsating crisis of Faith in Ireland. That is not made for TV film- that is live news.
God bless, friend.
This is so beautiful and so true
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Rightly said, Amanda. It is my stinking pride all over again, dripping, and won’t just let go. Time to take a shower at Mass.
It’s the only way, I have tried all the others!
Yes. I, too, find that in the end, we who love the Church know the weight of the cross. Although I politely disagree with some Church doctrine, I yearn unity with Her. My disagreements truly are the “thorn in the flesh” that St. Paul mentions which draws me to lean more readily on Christ. Although I know that my unity with the bride will always be imperfect, my unity with the Groom grows more each day, by His grace.
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