On Friendship

“The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, ‘What? You too? I thought I was the only one.”

―C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

I read The Four Loves, in search of insight on relationships. The above quote was one of the most poignant. C.S. Lewis had a lot to say on ordinary (for lack of better word) friendship, opening my eyes.

I realized friendship plays a much greater role in my life than I noticed before.

I’ve already written on friendship before, if you’d like to read it.

How do you see friendship?

C.S. Lewis said, “Very few modern people think Friendship a love of comparable value or even a love at all.”

Has Facebook’s “Add Friend” button watered friendship to just another action? Does friendship today still hold the value it had before–would things be different if we stuck to people we saw physically?

I’ve made my closest friends adding people I barely knew. However, there is a limit–and we tend to cross it, adding people we’re not likely to speak with–ever. Not only do our news feeds become annoyingly cluttered–the word friend shrinks to mean acquaintance.

If the word friend has become acquaintance,  what is friendship to our generation?

Friendship is not:

• Adding people as Facebook friends just to up the number on your profile.
• Keeping a person on your friends list because you feel sorry for them, or because you want to make them jealous.
• Hoarding friends so that more people can play certain games with you.

Also, I’m sorry to say that adding more people on your friends list is not the best form of evangelization. You can’t spam people with Jesus posts, because they can hide everything of yours off their news feed.

So what, then, is friendship? C. S. Lewis says–

What draws people to be friends is that they see the same truth. They share it.

“Ordinary” friendship tends to be watered down.

People place more value in romantic love than dear friends–but both are important! I invite you to take a look at your own friendships, and think about what they mean in your life. Remember all they help you with, especially spiritually. A true friend will help steer you on the path to Heaven.

We all know that friends are important, but have you ever stopped to think of how?

The Christian life isn’t meant to be lived alone. We should go out and talk to people. The most unlikely person can turn into your closest friend, but you’ll never know unless you go out. This does not include a Facebook “Add Friend” spree. When adding friends online, please be careful who you let in. But that is an entirely different blog post.

When you meet the friends God chose for you, rest assured–you’ll never be alone in this battle.

Do you have any close Christian friends you can talk to when needed?

Next time you’re together, pray for strength and patience. Friendship is one of the best investments you will make in life; be careful how you go about it.

This is my favorite C. S. Lewis quote on friendship. I hope it helps you like it did me:

A secret Master of the Ceremonies has been at work. Christ, who said to the disciples “Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you,” can truly say to every group of Christian friends “You have not chosen one another but I have chosen you for one another.”