Oh Good Heavens!

I had no idea when I wrote my last post that it would generate so much controversy. I certainly had no idea it would offend so many people. I assure you I meant no offense against anyone. The whole post started out as a private joke in a conversation with my cousin, and since the concept struck me as funny I typed it up and threw it out into the internet. Then I left for a week of training, and upon my return, discovered that I had unwittingly ruffled a good number of feathers.

That really is the problem with blogging, isn’t it? You write something, it sounds good, it seems reasonable, even humorous, and you put it out there and hope other people like it. Or at least get a laugh out of it with you. However, when people read blogs on the internet they often assume that the writer is talking about them personally; from those who say, “Right on, and this is what I’ve been saying for years,” to those who indignantly cry, “Why would you assume that I am like that?”

My friends, I do not know you. I am a writer in my spare time, and I write about observations I have made. Sometimes those observations hit home, sometimes they do not. But whether it seems that I have hit the nail on the head, or categorically missed all bounds of reason, please remember, I do not know you. I am not assuming you are like anything. I have never met you, or listened to you, or shared anything at all with you. I don’t know your story. I did not write that blog about you.

I wrote about a generalisation which we call Catholic Men and Catholic Women, but generalisations don’t read blogs. Individuals do and some of both agreed, some of both were indignant. I would love to correspond with each one of you individually and listen to your stories, and find out what you love and what you fear. Then I would know better when to reach out, and when to keep these clumsy hands of mine in my pockets. Unfortunately, this is time that we live in, and I just don’t have enough of it. Can I take a rain check on that meeting? Thanks be to God, eternity is coming.

If you were a Catholic woman who thought I was bashing all Catholic women in general and you personally, believe me, I mean nothing of the sort. If you are a Catholic man who thought that I was calling all Catholic men and you irresponsible and immature, unthink it. If what I or any other writer reminds you of yourself then listen to it and weigh it as you would any other opinion of any other total stranger. If it does not apply to you, let it go.

For those who suggest that I switch the genders around and think seriously about what a GCW would look like, I assure you, I have been doing that for many years. I have known many such women, and I am related to more than a few of them. I am aware of their otherness as a group, and more than that of their individuality. Each one is her own person, to be known and related to in a way not possible with any other person alive. Although their otherness has at times been very inconvenient to me, I stand by the principle I wrote. I would not change them. I would have them free to be who and what God created them to be.

For those who think this is an excuse for Catholic He-man-ism, or that “the problem is that NCG’s aren’t ready for Good Catholic Men (GCM)” I suggest you read what I actually wrote, or check out some of my other posts, but I believe that post made it quite clear that I believe that the problem with the boys is that they are not stepping up. It is the responsbility of the individual to strive for greatness. Other things I mentioned like fart jokes, leaving the toilet seat up, or finding interpersonal drama comical were meant as examples of different perspectives that come more naturally to men than to women. They are as likely to be valid as their feminine opposites. They are also examples of opportunities to step outside of your own natural inclinations and listen to someone else, to try to see things from someone else’s perspective. It is a chance to listen.

And as for those who want to take every opportunity available to yell about bikinis, would you give it a rest already?

I would however, like to apologize personally to Seraphic and her commenters. I wish I could rewrite that last sentence. I was not mocking you at all. I admit, I was teasing a little, but I was not mocking you, or your commenters, or their heartaches or struggles. I was laughing only at the acronyms NCB and NCG, and the constant use of them. That meme is funny to me so I laugh at it, but it is good-hearted laughter, and as it was written that did not come across. I am truly sorry for that.

Category: Dating