Published on March 30th, 2012 | by J.Q. Tomanek34
Announcement: So many great additions! Thanks to the readers for your contribution. In agreement with other commentators, Dan Di Luzio’s comment had me laughing. If Dan will contact me: jqtomanek-at-gmail-dot-com, I will send your signed “Style, Sex, & Substance” along.
But first you have to read a short Top Ten list.
You know when you may have taken the “call to holiness” a bit overboard because:
10. you not only kiss the ground when you land in a new country, but you also run out of the terminal and boldly claim that country Christ’s while thrusting a sword into the ground.
9. you miss you plane to the honeymoon because you are trying to convert a Hare Krishna follower.
8. though the Brown Scapular has so many wonderful promises to those that are faithful, you seek the nearest Catholic bookstore and demand that they carry every colored scapular made. Of course you look like some kind of hump back because all those scapulars create a very unusual looking bump on your back.
7. you write Fr. Z and give him translation and liturgical advice from a 17th century missal you found on Ebay.
6. you demand your children call you Holy Father because you have taken the domestic church too far.
5. though you are a lay person and not a friar, you tonsure you hair and proclaim it is necessary for salvation.
4. you actually use the word “anathema” in daily comments with others at dissenting Catholic websites.
3. you call Apple and demand the steps to erase all apps on your iPhone because every app on your smart phone has to be a Catholic app.
2. the only place on your car left to put a pro-life sticker is on the license plate.
1. you insist the Church is in apostasy so you convince yourself and six others to make you Pope. Did St. Peter called himself “Pope Peter I?” If you are the first of your name, do you have to call yourself the “First?” That makes me “Jared Tomanek I” I guess.
Now for the contest. Here are the ground rules. The funniest comment that continues the satire list above will win a signed by . I just looking for one extra, but list as many as you like. The contest will go on until the end of Sunday. Don’t let your sex determine if you participate; I am sure man or woman will enjoy the book; granted a guy may want to put the book under this one so that your tender side is still suppressed from public view.
[author] [author_image timthumb=’on’]http://www.ignitumtoday.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/JTDTAT-Childrens-House-Copy-e1329964684276.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]Jared Tomanek lives in the country of Texas with his wife Denise, a Southern Belle from Trinidad and Tobago, and his three children. He holds two graduate degrees from Our Lady of the Lake University in San Antonio, an MBA and Master of Science in Organizational Leadership, and a Bachelor of Arts degree from Franciscan University of Steubenville. Having taught for five years in Catholic education, he now works in the construction industry in Victoria, TX. He is a parishioner of Holy Family of Joseph, Mary, and Jesus Parish in the Diocese of Victoria. @JaredThaddeus[/author_info] [/author]