Cathdudes, we need you

[ 19 ] October 13, 2011 AD |

Calling all young men with a blossoming Love for Christ! Your time has come, brothers. You have been called up.

“It is my wish, then, that in every place the men should pray, lifting up holy hands, without anger or argument.” – 1 Timothy 2:8

We need you and your manliness to take one for the team and be Catholic dudes. Step out of the blogosphere every day and be Catholic dudes for lost and struggling dudes.

We need men to step up unabashedly and show us why even the best examples of men in the media fall short of what we deserve and what our world deserves. Yes, we’re human, but that doesn’t mean we should aim to eat from the dumpster when there’s a feast waiting in heaven (source: Jason Evert).

Barney from How I Met Your Mother: Please, men, show us how satirical this terrible example is for men. Show us how his hyperbolic “player” ways are insulting to men and women alike every time he tricks a woman into going home with him and proceeds to talk about it like he won a little league trophy.

Gibbs from NCIS: Believe me, I am definitely a fan of this man and his stoic heroism, but he’s not the best male figure on TV. He got married three times after his true love, his first wife, was murdered. He avenged the murders of his wife and daughter in a brutal, execution-style sniping. This man takes morality into his own hands, following his own rule book. Men, we need you to show us how affirming humility and vulnerability before your Father are.

House from House: Why is this cynical doctor so handsome? House is the iconic atheist who keeps getting “tricked” into encountering God, yet he consistently rebukes Him. Where are the men showing the depth of God’s impact in their lives so that real-life House might be taken aback by the commitment of a true man of faith?

Abs-olution of steel!

Jim from The Office: I’m taking my life into my own hands by listing Jim amongst these less-than-savory (yet, curiously handsome) characters. Hear me out. Jim is certainly the “nice guy” protagonist, especially when compared to other (hilarious) characters on the show. However, he doesn’t always show Love for those who surround him (raise your hand if you want to put a stapler in Jell-O™ right now?). Also, if he really valued Pam for the woman he knew her to be when they were just friends, he would have waited even longer until they were married before having sex. I realize that is counter to our culture and that a comment like that lights a fire under the eager commenter’s tuckus, but someone who truly loves someone wouldn’t need to sleep with them to complete their relationship curve. Men: be men who stand up and say this when the opportunity presents itself.

Flip on the TV and you will come up with a list as long as the day for examples of who we’re battling. Don’t get me started on professional athletes!

Let us not be discouraged. They’ve done the work for us by gathering our foe characteristics there on the small (and large) silver screen. The writers, directors, and agents gave us our starting point and our guide by which we choose NOT to live our lives.

Find the time to impress upon the younger men you encounter how fulfilled you are by being a faithful brother in Christ. Pull your younger and older cousins aside at Thanksgiving and share with them a few wholesome stories and exclamations of “Wow, God is awesome!” Volunteer with a local youth ministry or Catholic campus ministry group to be the iconic “older dude” who is still cool enough to listen to.

Men, there is a short window of time in which you are both totally rad (take note: they don’t say this anymore) and still have some authority. Think about it this way: some teenager, somewhere is prepped and ready to hang on your every, Holy-Spirit-guided word.

Make sure your words and actions are worth hanging on and actively seek those to guide.

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Who are #Cathdudes? Find out on Twitter.

Thanks for reading! Read more on my blog here.

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Category: Men's Issues, Spirituality

About the Author ()

Elizabeth Hillgrove is a young cradle Catholic who grew up in a tight-knit, if not absurdly close family in the tiny Catholic world of Virginia. After a few divots and detours into apathy, embarrassment, and a vested political interest, Jesus Christ jump-started her faith life. Elizabeth has researched her way into a passion for bringing the simple, fulfilling Truth to youth and young adults, especially females. A recovering tomboy, Elizabeth will challenge you on the field, in the pool, on a trek up a mountain, or in the art studio. Game on. She is one of the three Bright Maidens and her website is Startling the Day.
  • http://virtuouspla.net/ Fabiola Garza

    Cathdudes we love you!

  • http://tonylayne.blogspot.com/ Anthony S. Layne

    Well, I would … but I fall short, too. :^)=)

  • http://www.almostnotcatholic.com/ Brent Stubbs

    Elizabeth,

    I love this! We do need to step up to the proverbial plate and swing with all the chaste and courageous gusto we have. I think all of your examples hit the nail on the head–ESPECIALLY the last one. Chastity ain’t for wimps. “God is calling all of us to step up to the plate, give up our lazy, idle, and self-centered habits and face head on a pornographic, prudish, egomaniacal culture.”

    Pax!

  • Jennifer Mazzara

    Oh nooo! Hatin’ on Jim! :)

    You’re right about him, of course. But you know what? Jim and Pam have two kids now, they were happy about the first baby, and a big deal was made about respecting Pam’s grandmother’s dislike of the pre-marriage pregnancy. I thought it was all pretty positive and counter-cultural. They could have been carefully contracepting all along.

  • http://www.lifecenterli.org anthony gentile

    A great way to live the call to authentic manhood ismby joining a Catholic mens group. Faith, Fellowship mand formation are essential to your maturity as a man of God.

  • http://www.elizabethhillgrove.com Elizabeth Hillgrove

    Fabi – Yes, we do!

    Anthony – Don’t we all…

    Brent – Thank you! Amen, brother!

    Jennifer – True, though I have no doubt they were carefully contracepting when they were surprised the first time. I was extremely please when I saw how their first reaction to the pregnancy was ecstasy! I’m not sold that being concerned about their grandmother knowing about her pre-marital pregnancy was counter-cultural because they treated it like only this old woman would ever object. But you’re right, they did treat the whole situation with more care than I would expect from a 21st century TV show.

    Anthony- Amen!! And then to go out and find new men to bring into that group!

  • http://defend-us-in-battle.blogspot.com Joseph K

    Ok totally calling us out! In a good way. I am packing and then flying forever back to Alaska today… have to get my VP piece up and I will eventually respond to this!

    Great post! We need encouragement and some tough love, and you did just that.

  • http://thenerdywife.com Kendra @ The Nerdy Wife

    I’m a big fan of this! My husband loves his faith and practices it, but tends to be shy about expressing it around his friends, especially the male ones. I remind him that he may be the only “Bible” they ever read, and he is constantly presented with opportunities to be a good example of Christian living!

    I do wonder how much better the world could be if more Christian (especially Catholic!) men would not be afraid to live their faith more openly!

  • Bruce in Kansas

    Righteous! Although I have never seen any of the TV characters you listed, I understand how they all fall not only far short, but so far short as to fall in the wrong direction completely. Obviously, the template for the ultimate Cathdude is Jesus; big, strong, smart, devout, patient, generous, chaste; brave enough to be unafraid to tell truth to power and yet humble enough to be obedient to that same truth. We had two generations now who have allowed our modern media to continually cast Him as a quiet, wimpy kind of pushover; and likewise those who follow Him. It’s not surprising men in our culture don’t see Cathdude as a manly dude. And you’re right about the brief window of opportunity of becoming old enough to have weight to your words, but young enough to be relevant to the outwardly uncaring cool young dudes out there wandering away from Christ and His Church.

  • http://spiritualworkoutblog.blogspot.com/ Liesl

    First, love the doctored picture. It’s RAD.

    Second, way to TOTALLY ruin The Office for me. I just finished season 1. (OK, I don’t live in a cardboard box. I knew that Pam and Jim got together, I just didn’t know about the pregnancy stuff.)

    Third, I love this piece. From a female perspective, with all these non-Cath dudes on TV and in movies and in the spotlight that us ladies see, we sometimes need to be reminded that there are wholesome, chaste, trying-to-be-holy men out there. Hopefully they will accept your challenge and step up to the plate! I can say from first-hand experience of watching a new FOCUS team on a college campus how important it is for there to be holy, but RAD, males out there for our youth and young adults to look to for guidance. Being Catholic is totally tubular, dudes and dudettes.

    Fourth, I find this strange desire out of nowhere to go watch “Finding Nemo” now…

  • http://nfpandme.blogspot.com/ Katie@NFP and Me

    Not Jim!! While I agree with what you said about him, my heart just doesn’t want to admit it. (I guess I need to go read the emotional chastity posts again :D ) Thank you for calling the guys out, in a good way. Fraternal correction is essential to spiritual growth.

  • richard

    Most encouraging words.

  • http://catholiceconomist.wordpress.com Chris (or, Buster)

    I don’t know if Jim belongs in there. I mean, yeah he’s funny, and I would be friends with him…but I’d put him more in the kind of wimp category and should hang out with Gibbs and Johnny Cash for a few weekends.

    I just find it interesting that at one time, virtue was considered to be a sign of masculine strength and now…it is weakness. It is utterly upside down. Sometimes I find myself not being able to do anything besides put my head in my hands for a moment at what I see.

  • http://thelicensedfool.wordpress.com/ The Licensed Fool

    I agree with Chris.

    I also remember once listening to a good sermon on why ‘Meekness’ was ‘Strength controlled’ and that it could be likened to a thoroughbred horse that had been trained compared to a wild stallion – The only difference being the control.

    This is the type of euphamism that us men like…

  • buckyinky

    I understand that there is a particular occasion for this post (the presence of several characters on popular TV shows that make a mockery of masculinity), but the author, as well as many of the commenters, seem not to grasp the importance of depth of character in the makeup of a godly and holy man. One of the last things on the mind of holy man will be whether people like him and want to emulate him because of his rad-ness. I also don’t find it very motivating or encouraging to see an exhortation to be a holy “Cath-dude” so that I can aspire to be better than, and remind women that there are better men than, Barney, Gibbs and Jim. Women, if these programs are seriously tempting you to think that all men are like these characters, I think you need to turn off the television. It seems to be a proximate occasion of sin for you as it is giving you a distorted and unrealistic view of men.

  • http://www.elizabethhillgrove.com Elizabeth Hillgrove

    “Therefore, I urge you, be imitators of me.” – 1 Corinthians 4:16

    I think it’s hyperbole to think that women actually think these men represent the average man. The idea of using them was to assert that men need to step up and be society’s dissenters; to imitate Paul and to live up to Jesus Christ’s example.

  • http://www.elizabethhillgrove.com Elizabeth Hillgrove

    Whoa, I used “think” three times in one sentence. Who needs another coffee? This girl.

  • buckyinky

    I think it’s hyperbole to think that women actually think these men represent the average man. The idea of using them was to assert that men need to step up and be society’s dissenters; to imitate Paul and to live up to Jesus Christ’s example.

    By “hyperbole” do you mean “incorrect?” If so, you may be right. I had Liesl’s words above in mind when I wrote what I did. She commented, From a female perspective, with all these non-Cath dudes on TV and in movies and in the spotlight that us ladies see, we sometimes need to be reminded that there are wholesome, chaste, trying-to-be-holy men out there. I read that to mean she is tempted to think the men she observes on television are representative of all men. I may be wrong in thinking that Liesl’s is a common fallacy among women, but it seemed plausible to me that she was speaking for many women when she said she was writing from a female perspective.

  • http://www.elizabethhillgrove.com Elizabeth Hillgrove

    No, not incorrect. There is certainly truth in what you said and if women really come to believe these characters are what men look like, they should turn off the TV! But let’s make sure they have more upstanding men to look at when they turn their backs to the TV :)

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