“Everyone whose life is righteous
has been begotten by Him…
we are already the children of God
but what we are to be in the future has not yet been revealed;
all we know is, that when it is revealed we shall be like Him.”
(1 Jn 2:29,3:2)
I might as well name the elephant in the room since some have been concerned or worried for me.
So my seminarian classmate just got ordained as a priest on 1 Jan. It was a beautiful celebration and I was truly happy for him, even as I sat among the congregation and not beside him as I once envisioned.
While it might’ve been tempting for me to think of myself as ‘left behind’, ‘rejected’, or a ‘failure’, instead I felt surprisingly at peace with myself.
Today’s reading further affirmed me by reminding me that so long as I have striven to live a righteous life, I am already begotten by him; not rejected, not left out. The reason for my state of peace and joy isn’t because I have ‘achieved’ or ‘succeeded’ in something, but because I believe deeply that I am a child of God, not for what I’ve done but who I already am.
Of course, what I am to be in the future has still not yet been revealed to me. But I’m also reminded that my future is not meant to be measured by whether I become a priest, or by how much good I can do in the world. Rather, my future is defined by how am I striving to become more and more like Him in every way — by my obedience to His will even when it doesn’t seem to make sense, by my striving to be as loving and life-giving as Him in every small aspect of my life, by the way I try to live my life for God and not for myself. And it is in this striving to be more like Him that naturally and inevitably brings about much good into the world.
So I rejoice that God has chosen my classmate to be a priest. What He has chosen for me I’m not sure yet. But be assured that I rejoice nonetheless, for I am a child of God, and will continue striving to be like Him through whatever path He chooses for me. And you can be sure that wherever I am, I will still be serving alongside my brother in the same vineyard for the same Mission as we’ve been doing in the past 8 years of our seminary life together.
Originally posted on Instagram.