“As Jesus drew near to Jericho there was a blind man sitting at the side of the road begging… he called out, ‘Jesus, Son of David, have pity on me’… Jesus stopped and asked him, ‘What do you want me to do for you?’ ‘Sir,’ he replied ‘let me see again.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Receive your sight. Your faith has saved you.’ And instantly his sight returned and he followed him praising God” (Lk 18:35-43)
Growing up, I never liked how I looked. I always thought other boys were more good-looking than me, cooler than me, more popular than me. Despite all my efforts to dress up or style my hair, deep down inside, I couldn’t stand the sight of myself.
Before my therapy this year, I told my therapist that I was afraid of what I might find inside of me, what I might uncover in the dark that would scare me to death. But she smiled at me and said: “All I’m going to discover is this precious, amazing child whom I’ve hidden for far too long, and who’s just dying to come out into the light!”
Indeed, over the months of therapy, I began to realize how my inner child has just been BEGGING for me to see how amazing he is. I realized how over the years, my detest of what I saw of him blinded me from seeing the truth and beauty of what God sees in me. I had been heavily reliant on how others see me, greatly affected by how some disapprove of me, and overly caught up with looking ‘good enough’ for others to see.
This year, Jesus walked by and gave me a chance to call out to Him to give me renewed sight to see myself the way He sees me, to truly see the real beauty of my true self hidden within. And with this new sight that He has now given me, no longer am I bothered by how others see me, no longer am I concerned if some don’t see the real me. All I wish to focus on is seeing the real, amazing me that God created, and live each day not only seeing His plans for me more clearly, not only seeing His presence and love for me more deeply, but also to seeing me for me, and being free to be me the way I was meant to be.
I give praise to God for restoring my sight, and wish that more others shall also be healed of their blindness and see the true beauty of themselves within.
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