I’m going to come clean: I struggle with pride.
The struggle is a constant one and I always catch myself saying to myself “when I become famous…”, “when the world finally sees what I can offer…”
I always clamour after fame and recognition. I get upset when I don’t receive praise. It’s embarrassing, but that’s my biggest struggle.
I struggle so much with being ordinary because I feel that I can do more than whatever I am doing now. But that’s just stupid thinking – it’s in doing the ordinary well that I become extraordinary.
In my daily life, I feel like I’m HIDDEN from the world, from praise and recognition. But hiddenness is such an important aspect of the spiritual life because it keeps us focused on God.
Henri Nouwen society’s reflection on 14 Aug came in the mail and it spoke to me:
“In hiddenness we do not receive human acclamation, admiration, support, or encouragement. In hiddenness we have to go to God with our sorrows and joys and trust that God will give us what we most need.
In our society we are inclined to avoid hiddenness. We want to be seen and acknowledged. We want to be useful to others and influence the course of events. But as we become visible and popular, we quickly grow dependent on people and their responses and easily lose touch with God, the true source of our being. Hiddenness is the place of purification. In hiddenness we find our true selves.”
Lord, help me to realize that the praise of man will never fulfill me. Give me the strength to cling on to You in our little hidden space.
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