The Sanctifying Cross of Marriage

Mark 10:1-12

In this Gospel passage, Jesus talks about Divorce.

Growing up I never thought much about the sacredness of married life. My family was pretty much dysfunctional (this MIGHT be an understatement) and I never thought much about the importance of family — in fact I detested it.

I (shamefully) remember asking my mom one birthday — it was my 7th — for her to divorce my dad as my birthday gift. I did not think it would be a problem — after all, when someone is aggressive to you daily, you leave him… right?

To that she gave a response I’ll never forget for the rest of my life: “This is a cross I must carry.”
Honestly, I thought she was mad for wanting to endure this hardship.

On hindsight, that was her living out her vows of marriage and that planted in me a seed of perseverance and faithfulness to God. It was the wisest thing anyone ever said to me.

The Pharisees quoted the mosaic law and questioned why Moses allowed for divorce. But Jesus explained that God’s intention for our state in life — whether married or single — was to be saints.

“Marriage of Mary and Joseph.” From an early 1900s Marriage Certificate.

Being a saint entails that we rely on the power of God to overcome hardship before we rely on the power of man.
Moses had only permitted divorce because of the hardness of their hearts.
Male and female are indissolubly united in one flesh in marriage — a sacred and binding union — until death.

Marriage vows are so sacred, and such exemplars of what it means to love truly — you vow to love unconditionally every single moment of every single day, you vow to give yourself totally for the good of the other person. THAT is true love.

After all, from a Theology of the Body (TOB) lens, our entire faith is based on the idea of God wanting to marry us! He — in the person of Jesus Christ — is the groom and we the Church are His bride; the cross the “nuptial bed”. Just like how Jesus was humble to death  on the cross, couples must learn to adjust in humility for the marriage to grow and experience success. Many failures in marriages are due to:
– lack of humility
– stubbornness
– lack of prayer life

Back to my mom: she may not be educated in theology or the doctrines of the Church. But she is (sure as sure can be) in possession of the Truth and I believe that she is the epitome of what it means to take up your cross and follow Jesus.

Prayers for all my married friends, that you realize that God has called you to be saints in your vocation as married people, and may God grant you the graces to be faithful to the end.

___

Originally posted at Catholic Rambles.

Nathalie Fernandez

Nathalie Fernandez

Nathalie Rachel Fernandez loves to engage in conversation (especially with strangers!), go on cheap backpacking trips around South-East Asia and make friends in the most random of places. She teaches General Paper at a junior college and she’s passionate about getting young people to adopt an attitude of gratitude and think about life and why we’re all put here on earth. A Roman Catholic revert, she left the faith in folly and came back home to a loving Father. She is pursuing a Certificate of Theology at the Catholic Theological Institute of Singapore, and falling in love with our Lord more and more each day!

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2 thoughts on “The Sanctifying Cross of Marriage”

  1. Pingback: THVRSDAY AFTERNOON EDITION – Big Pulpit

  2. For me I did not know how to be a husband. I feel we need to invest in helping people to understand the sanctity of marriage. I have made many mistakes and I have learned from them unwillingly. We need a better support system. We need to live out our Catholic vocation. I ask for prayers that the experiences I have encounter- that I will be able to be part of the change need so desperately in our Church.

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