Your Wait is Not in Vain

Waiting is a theme in every human being’s life. Nothing that we aspire to or achieve comes without some sort of waiting period. Most people struggle with waiting, yet, a wait is actually a blessing as it prepares one for greater things ahead, and often greater and newer challenges. God gives us the gift of a waiting period so that we might grow closer to Him and closer to the best version of ourselves. Waiting is never in vain, but produces a blessing.

The theme of sowing and reaping is rampant in the Bible and Jesus talks in many instances of a tree bearing fruit. That doesn’t happen overnight. The process starts underground, unseen, with a tiny seed. Little by little, the tree comes into view. It doesn’t seem much at first, but the water and sunlight continue to do their work. Finally the tree reaches its full height one day, and it is a glorious sight. The tree stands tall and has beautiful branches that bear fruit. It is able to withstand storms much better than when it was a seedling. It is the same with us. When we are “seedlings” still in process, we are weak and find the storms of our lives very difficult. However, over time and as we grow in our relationship with God, we grow stronger. We begin to bear fruit and produce great things. What are you waiting for?

One common wait is for finding a husband or wife. If you’re a single person hoping and praying for your spouse, trust that your marriage will be blessed due to your wait. God is working on both you and your future spouse at this very moment. He is shaping both of you to be even better spouses for one another, and better parents, too, if you will have children. It’s up to you to use the time well and not for bitterness or complaining. Waiting is purposeful. Our Heavenly Father makes us wait for our good and growth.

An artist doesn’t finish a masterpiece in a day. He or she continues to put touches here and there, and small details, until he steps back from the canvas and marvels at the work he has created. It is the same way that our Heavenly Father works in our lives. Every day He is putting touches on the canvas of our lives. The picture may not make sense now. It is incomplete and there are many spaces that are not filled in. Yet the Master Artist envisions exactly what the end product will look like. It will be amazing beyond your imagining. Time will pass and the picture will become more and more complete. When you step back to look at your life, it will be evident how your Father was working and cared about even the smallest details of your life.

God is working behind the scenes right now, though we do not know how; we can only see what’s straight in front of us. We must, however, learn to trust God’s wisdom and guidance in our lives. Our trust in the plan of our Heavenly Father for our lives doesn’t depend on what we know, but on faith. “For we walk by faith, not by sight.”- 2 Corinthians 5:7. It’s up to us to live the present day He has given us well. Thus we prepare for the next day, and someday, our wait will come to an end. As you wait, live each moment to the fullest. Don’t waste time simply waiting around. Time is to be used for our good, not for hoping for a future that may be different than we envision. The better we live the now, the more we will be able to receive the great future God has planned for us.

“The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.”- Lamentations 3:25

“Don’t waste life in doubts and fears; spend yourself on the work before you, well assured that the right performance of this hour’s duties will be the best preparation for the hours and ages that will follow it.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Lianna Mueller

Lianna Mueller

Lianna is a case manager for refugees in Ohio. Becoming "the best version of herself" and inspiring others to do the same is her aim. She enjoys writing, learning about other cultures, and trying to pick up other languages.

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9 thoughts on “Your Wait is Not in Vain”

  1. I don’t mean to be a debby-downer but considering over half of adults aren’t married it seems we have a singles crisis on our hands.

  2. Since the author is a young woman, and the first commenter Liesl is too, I will write my remarks to them even though I’m probably the age of their fathers. Maybe you can learn from my experience. I urge you, with all my heart, not to fall into the trap of imagining that “wishing, hoping and praying” will accomplish your goal of finding a Catholic spouse. It’s just not sufficient.

    Something strange has happened in Catholic society in recent generations. Parishes used to play an important role in helping the cause of marriage. Ask your parents or grandparents how they met. Odds are that they met, or their courtship was aided, by people or events in their parishes. At a picnic or a dance or some other parish social function. Parishes were true communities, and everyone knew each other. It was very common to help the singles pair up.

    That assistance is long gone. Now, the Seniors meet on Wednesday afternoon for cards. The pro-lifers meet on Monday night. The college-age kids goof off on Thursday. Where does that leave the adult singles? Out in the cold, that’s where. This is the “singles crisis” that Ladasha Smithson refers to. With young adults being more mobile now, often moving far away from their biological families for school or for employment, they need support from their new parish families more than ever. But there is none.

    Ladies, do you know how to make it known that you’re available to date? Do you know how to talk to a man if he approaches you? Or do you avoid his gaze and turn and run? I am now thirty years post-college, and I can truthfully say that I have never spoken to a woman that I knew to be a single and available Catholic. Parishes provide no help, as I wrote above. And I am certainly not going to chase women down after mass to ask about their marital or dating status.

    Please, please don’t fall into the trap of doing nothing proactive, and then wailing that “there are no good men”. And don’t let others enable you in this terrible mistake! One blogger in my diocese is a late 40’s grandmother and claims to know of many single Catholic women who simply can’t find a good man. I’ve told her she’s wrong, that she’s an enabler of the “singles crisis”.

    Ah, you say. What about online dating? I’ll find Prince Charming there. Usually, if you are lucky enough to communicate with anyone at all, you fall into the “pen pal trap”. But emails and messages are not the same as meeting and dating. I find that most women simply refuse to meet when the time is right. They have no in-person dating experience and are terrified of the thought.

    “Wishing, hoping and praying” is simply not enough. Don’t hide in the weeds and expect men to discover and pursue you. That’s just not how it works.

    1. Hello Larry and Ladasha,

      Thank you for your comments. I agree that people are staying single much longer than in other times. The way that community is built in parishes has changed as well, which can make it difficult for Catholics to meet friends or even a spouse. Thankfully, more parishes are seeing the need for singles groups or young adult groups. However, there is still much progress to be made in this area. And yes, even men and women must discern better how to interact with one another. Whole articles could be devoted to this very topic.

      In the article, I hoped to show that the things we hope for don’t come overnight. God uses seasons of waiting to season and mature each one of us. I am not trying to advocate that people sit around waiting, but hope people will see that they must live each moment fully, thus better preparing to receive future gifts from the Lord. God is always working in our lives and we must trust in that work. Waiting for a spouse is just one example that I highlighted in the article, but I hope that readers find strength and encouragement in whatever they are waiting for.

      Thank you again for sharing your thoughts.

      1. Oh Lianna, please don’t hide behind unnecessarily church-y words like “discern”. There’s no discernment about how to interact with the opposite sex. Just do it!

        Do not sit back and wait for God to do the work of finding a spouse. And don’t wait for God to tell you how to do it. That might be the mistake that I made: I assumed that through regular attendance and involvement at church, that someone would eventually fall into my life.

        I disagree that anyone has recognized the need for adult singles groups. I live in a large diocese and there are NONE. And I’ve always been a few years too old for young adult groups (even as the age limit inched upward over the years) and from what I know of them, I doubt I would have enjoyed them.

        Pray if you must, but then take action. Don’t wait.

      2. Sorry buy Larry is correct, and quite frankly, I don’t have any sympathy for most single women. To all the women reading this: how many times have you turned a guy down for even the offer of coffee or some small date? You just want to be “friends” but you completely ignore us? “You’re too religious, you’re not religious enough, you don’t live close enough,” and the list goes on.

        It’s up to the guy to tell you he likes you, it’s up to you to at least return some of the interest. Maybe you will be surprised. Maybe we completely understand that we won’t be getting married after the first coffee date but having a friend wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

  3. I am currently waiting on a promotion. For two years I have been vetted via a series of rather trying (stressful) hurdles, including a lot of public speaking and presentations. The problem is that the position only comes open when another man retires. He is not budging on giving a date yet, and so I wait, hoping that the thing for which I have worked so hard does not somehow slip through my fingers. I am all but promised this position, which in a way makes the waiting more painful.
    While I know that this is all part of the Lord’s plan for me, and I am a patient person, by and large, I still find myself falling into thoughts of resentment toward the man who has yet to reveal his retirement plans.

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