“Become the woman of your dreams, then you will attract the man of your dreams.”
Emotional chastity is not to prevent love, it’s to give you authentic love.
Emotional chastity, like physical chastity, requires discipline. We all have sexual desires, but by living out the virtue of chastity, we don’t let those desires control us. Since we aren’t just bodies, but also hearts, minds, and souls we are called to practice chastity in all those areas. Emotional chastity means guarding the gift of purity of our hearts and minds.
It is very easy for woman to fall into this emotional mind game, especially when it comes to guys. You see some random (cute) guy at church and you start planning your wedding colors. You are introduced to a great Catholic guy and you start putting your name with his last name to see how it sounds.
Many of us have been guilty of this and when we first think of it, it may sound just like innocent school girl fun. But what begins to happen is that we start to no longer see them as a whole person with a mind, a heart, and a soul. We only see them only as a physical being, we begin to see only their body. An object.
“You can never use another person as a means to an end.”
-Pope John Paul II in Love and Responsibility
We may at times, before even meeting this guy, create in our mind this perfect person from his personalities to his looks. We have created this character that only belongs in a Nicholas Sparks film, not real life. Nothing against chick-flicks, I am admittedly a huge fan. But don’t let your Pinterest-filtered mind take over reality, because that is dangerous for your heart and soul.
So far, what does all this mean? It means no imaginary boyfriends or comparing your actual boyfriend to a fictional character. It’s understanding that relationships is the uniting of two sinners, so there is no such thing as a perfect relationship.
You want to cultivate a pure heart for your future vocation. For those called to marriage you want to be able to give your whole self to your future spouse in both your body, heart, and soul.
Use this time that the church calls remote preparation, as a time to grow in virtue and knowledge. A time to understand who and what God wants of you. Then when He sees fit, He will reveal where and who He wants you with. We will receive many more graces when that does happen if we take the time now to sanctify ourselves in body, mind, and soul.
“Only the chaste man and the chaste woman are capable of real love.”
-St. John Paul II