Each year with the dawn of warm weather, Catholic media is suddenly buzzing with a myriad of posts and articles addressing the virtue of modesty. Given the current state of cultural fashion trends, this crusade for modest apparel is certainly justifiable. Parading around in cut off shorts and bikinis is hardly a dignified way to adorn the body. However, as a young Catholic woman I must express my concern that modesty is continually approached as a problem which can be remedied through a series of laws for women’s dress.
It is frustrating for women to be told that we must dress a certain way and that modesty is only for us. Modesty is so much more than just an issue of fashion. It is an important virtue that should be practiced by both men and women. Virtues are habits meant to bring about a change in lifestyle and a guide to making good, holy choices. Modesty, as a virtue, is much more radical than regulating the clothing that we wear. It is a virtue of respect and of responsibility.
Before modesty can be applied to our external lives, it must be understood as it applies to the interior/spiritual life of the person. The Church defines human virtues as:
“…firm attitudes, stable dispositions, habitual perfections of intellect and will that govern our actions, order our passions, and guide our conduct according to reason and faith… The virtuous man is he who freely practices the good.” (CCC 1804)
The virtue of modesty is a disposition of moral goodness directed toward respect and love for God, our bodies, and our brothers and sisters in Christ. Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit who dwells in us. In dressing, speaking, and acting in a modest way, we are doing so in order to show respect for God.
When we are choosing the clothes we wear it is important to remember that we are adorning the tabernacle of our bodies. Our outward appearance should reflect Christ’s presence within us in order to show our respect for him. Because God dwells within us, it is right and good that we should care for our bodies by speaking modestly by avoiding uncharitable and profane speech; avoiding images, movies, and visual stimulation that might draw us away from Christ; and by carrying ourselves in a way that shows respect for ourselves and others.
Further, by cultivating the virtue of modesty within our own lives we are setting an example and fulfilling a call to bring the light of Christ to those around us. We are all called to evangelize and share the Gospel with the world. Modesty helps us to evangelize by our own example, and it is not only our responsibility, but our call as Christians to cultivate the virtue of modesty.
Modesty can also help us to avoid the use of our bodies as an occasion of sin to others. When we speak, dress, or act in a way contrary to what is good, we run the risk of sinning and leading others away from Christ. This is especially important in relationships between men and women. We, as women, have a responsibility to our brothers in Christ to veil our bodies out of respect for ourselves and respect for them. When a woman veils what should remain hidden, she is inviting a man to see her as a whole person.
It is the responsibility of men to look after women and treat them with respect and dignity, regardless of how she is dressed. It is the duty of a man to thank God for the gift of each woman and to care for and protect her. This may include guiding her in a way that reveals her personhood rather than her body.
A note to women on clothes: when I say that women should veil their bodies, that doesn’t mean hide the beauty God has given you under a loose fitting sack. Instead, dress so that others will see your internal beauty and your personhood, not just your body. Marilyn Monroe said, “Your clothes should be tight enough to show you’re a woman but loose enough to show that you’re a lady.” Don’t hide your God given beauty. Let it shine in a way that brings others to Christ. As for the guys, dress in a way that is classy and respectful. Dress to show respect for yourself and those around you.
Modesty is a virtue for both men and women. It is an internal disposition that guides us to live in communion with God and each other. It cultivates respect and responsibility and frees us to love more fully and completely. So this summer when everyone is up in arms over the immodesty of the “fashion trends”, remember that you are a sacred vessel in which Christ lives. Respect yourself, God, and your brothers and sisters in Christ. Keep it classy!
12 thoughts on “Modesty: A Virtue of Respect and Responsibility”
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I don’t think that quoting Marilyn Monroe is a way to help you make your point. I have three daughters, and I must say that in my experience girls in general are not really aware of how visually oriented the male mind is. I’ve heard many women respond to a critique of women’s clothing my men with this, “Well, he doesn’t have to look!” It’s interesting that the advertising world already knows how powerful the female image is on the male mind. Female imagery is used to embed product branding images on the male mind all the time. Women seem unaware of how powerful their presence is. Women also seem to forget that in our culture, the average age of exposure to porn is 11. These images warp the ability to see people as people, and not simply an array of body parts.
The cut of the garment is meant to lead the eye in a particular direction. That’s the point of the garment’s cut. This may help women be aware of where and how the woman wearing the garment will come across to men. A question to ask is “Where do I expect a man’s eyes do go when I wear this?” and even more importantly “Why do I expect his eyes to be lead that way?”
Note: This does not get men off the hook for the responsibility of custody of the eyes. Men need to work hard and make sacrifices to guard chastity in this realm. It mirrors the responsibility women have to guard chastity too.
I thought the Marilyn Monroe quote made the point quite well. Perhaps you were judging the quote by other information you know about the late Ms Monroe?
You didn’t know she was a porn model? Her photographs took Hugh Hefner’s little magazine to prime time. That’s hardly an icon of purity and virtue. She helped glamorize porn. Two generations later, our culture is now saturated with it thanks to Hugh and his ilk.
Personally, I would have chosen Audrey Hepburn as an icon instead of Marylin Monroe.
Of course I knew that she was a porn model, and that is very sad that she set herself up like that and managed to influence many to follow those footsteps. Unfortunately, the internet doesn’t always allow subtlety without “tone of voice”, so I will be plain: I was observing that your comment was more judgmental of Marilyn and implying that because of her sordid lifestyle, anything she said, regardless of worth or relevance, is inadmissible to a conversation on moral subjects such as modesty.
I’d say strippers and prostitutes have some startlingly unique insights on modesty, regardless of how much those observations may or may not be in line with moral Truth, they nonetheless can tell us a great deal.
I thought the Marilyn quote was spot on, despite the sad life she lived, and it bothered me that you wrote it off simply because of her lifestyle. We can only hope that she repented and asked Christ’s forgiveness before she died and that she received His Mercy willingly.
It’s odd that we are dwelling on one long sentence of her essay, and one of mine.
My point is that quoting Marylin Monroe was an odd one given the content of the essay. It’s common knowledge that she put Playboy on the map. It’s also well known that she was a troubled woman. I too hope that she embraces Jesus’ mercy while she still could. I think it’s quite uncharitable of you to claim that I am passing judgment. I’m not.
I was simply trying to point out that quoting someone so well known with a checkered past was a poor one to bolster the essayist’s point. To my reading it was not in line with the rest of her essay. It’s akin to quoting Mao on the virtue of obedience. The content may be 100% true, but the person quoted diminishes its power, instead of strengthening it.
For what it’s worth, I’m not convinced that quote actually came from Marilyn Monroe. Other sources indicate it was Edith Head (a costume designer) who said it, or possibly Mae West to Edith Head regarding how she wanted her dresses made.
I can easily believe that this is an Edith Head quote.
Thank you! I did not have the intention of painting Ms. Monroe as a role model. My point in referencing her name wa merely to credit her with the quote. Her words make a valid and relevant point. Her quote aided in my quest to make a point. That is all. Furthermore to those Catnolics who advocate ankle length skirts and long sleeves I would like to make the point that part of modesty is in part not to draw attention to yourself. By wearing that type of clothing you are drawing a dull self-pious image that is hardly appealing to non-CheiTians. While we must learn to be in the world and not of it, there is a fine line between long skirts and bikinis. Dressing to flatter your body type and showing hat you care for the temple of your body is an important part of being a Christian. We can evangelize most effectively through our actions and that includes the way we clothe ourselves.
I stumbled on this late, obviously. It seems that you are equivocating or conflating here – you seem to be equivocating “vanity” and “immodesty”, and you are equivocating “humility” and “modesty”.
Ability to cause lust and impure thoughts is central to immodesty, whereas “drawing attention” to oneself for self-adulation is vanity. Modesty is the habit that protects against causing lust, whereas humility is the habit that protects against self-flattery. Of course, there is an obvious overlap when lust-causing is involved; immodest clothing can obviously cause vanity.
Any clothing, even a nun’s outfit can cause “vanity”, because any outfit can draw attention to oneself. However, a nun’s outfit is most likely not going to cause lust, and therefore a nun’s outfit cannot be considered immodest. The nun doesn’t cause a man to lust/sin, whereas the bikini-wearer does.
So, I disagree with your suggestion that there is a fine line between long skirts and bikinis. Long skirts protect men; they protect against “causing one of these…to sin”.
Vanity and “flattery” can occur with any type of clothing regardless of how the clothing fits to the body.
This was an excellent post. I’m glad that you didn’t put the burden of men’s chastity and custody of the eyes solely on the shoulders of women and how they dress. That mentality, taken to the extreme, led to the invention of the burqa. It is important not to have a knee-jerk reaction to the mere mention of modesty that is based on the widespread dissemination of all things immodest, but as you pointed out, have a deeper understanding of modesty that results from a strong relationship with Christ.
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