Did you hear…

…he is homosexual.

…she uses the pill.

…she had an abortion.

…he sleeps around.

…he uses illegal drugs.

…he is liberal.

…she worked at Planned Parenthood.

…she sleeps around.

…he drove her to the abortion clinic.

…she is lesbian.

…she smokes weed.

…he watches porn.

What you don’t hear:

He has homosexual orientation and thinks Catholics hate him. He has never heard a kind word from a conservative Catholic. He is suffering because he just lost his boyfriend due to unfaithfulness. He is questioning many beliefs he was taught and this is causing some despair.

She uses the pill because her husband has had two adulterous affairs and fears getting pregnant with her husband who cannot be faithful for more than three months. She hates how the pill makes her moody. She does not like the effect of losing her libido. She never feels welcome to even go to Mass even when she does not receive the Eucharist. Her husband spends their pay checks on booze and guys’ nights.

She had an abortion because her boyfriend said he would leave her and spread nasty rumors about her. Her devout parents threatened to kick her out of the house if she were to ever get pregnant outside of marriage. Whenever she walked into the classroom, she experienced shame. She is actively looking for someone to let her know that forgiveness is possible but cannot hear past the screams and condemnations.

He sleeps around with so many women because he suffers extreme anxiety when left by himself. He has an ex-wife and a child but does not live with them. In the dungeon of his mind, he cannot help the depression that ensues when he considers that he has abandoned his own son.

He uses illegal drugs and has been addicted to them since the days he was placed in foster care. Torn from an abusive household, he was split from brothers and sisters. He has bounced from different homes and schools for five straight years.

He is liberal because he left for college and has taken many courses with professors that contradicted much of his Catholic upbringing. He has been convinced that the Church is the reason for so much suffering in the world.

She worked at Planned Parenthood because it was the only place that needed someone with her accounting skills. She did not want to work there because she knew what the organization did. However, she also needed to pay her bills and meals for her and her one-year old son. The father is not present.

She sleeps around because her father left their family when she was six. At the age of thirteen, she lost her virginity to a sophomore in high school. It was the first time she ever felt loved. A week after losing her virginity, the boyfriend left her.

He drove her to the abortion clinic because he could not handle being honest with his parents. He had so much pressure from his parents to be perfect that any imperfection would bring such a burden of guilt. He was only 18 when he drove his girlfriend to the clinic. He did not want an abortion but considering the options, the choice felt like it was the least painful.

She is a lesbian. She has never understood where these feelings of attraction come. For many years, she closed herself off from friends because she could not admit her desires. She could not tell her parents or priest for fear of being exiled or branded as sub-human. She has only felt accepted as a person by some friends in college that were part of the local chapter of LGBT club.

She smokes weed because she cannot handle the pain and suffering she experienced when her Homecoming date fed her a date drug and raped her. She told her parents but they blamed her for dressing immodest. They said she deserved it.

He watches porn most days. He has never made a real friendship with a woman of the opposite sex. At age of six, he found a stack of porn magazines at a friend’s house. They were playing hide and seek in the backyard and he opened a cabinet that was filled with smut. By age thirteen, he was sneaking porn videos into his room and watching late at night. When the internet arrived, the porn was fast and free with little chance of being caught. Now, he is addicted.

Did you hear there was a woman that was caught in adultery? The prim proper in her community shunned, rebuked, and ridiculed her. Some even wanted to stone her. She was brought before Love Incarnate and He loved her. His love was so great for her, He won her heart.

It is easy to sit back in this culture war and lob reasonable and logical arguments to win over minds. Friends get hurt, nobody listens, divisions prevail, and soon enough nobody treats each other as human persons. It is important to remember that though our sins, my sins, are red as scarlet, we have a God that saves. He is merciful and loving. Whatever our past, He wants to change our heart now. If He can look beyond our sinful past, we should try to look beyond the sins of others as well. We must remember that we were and, in many ways, still are the woman caught in adultery.

J.Q. Tomanek

J.Q. Tomanek

J.Q. lives in the country of Texas with his wife Denise, a Southern Belle from Trinidad and Tobago, and his three children. He holds two graduate degrees from Our Lady of the Lake University in San Antonio, an MBA and Master of Science in Organizational Leadership, and a Bachelor of Arts degree from Franciscan University of Steubenville. Having taught for five years in Catholic education, he now works in the construction industry in Victoria, TX. He is a parishioner of Holy Family of Joseph, Mary, and Jesus Parish in the Diocese of Victoria.

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7 thoughts on “Did you hear…”

    1. Tito, I would not say that at all. I would say that we must remember that we are speaking to a wounded person that is restless and only God gives that rest. Judging the actions is necessary, but never judging the person because we have no idea what is in the heart of the other person. In our evangelization, I think the Master gives us a wonderful example when He wins the heart of the woman caught in adultery.

      1. Completely agree. The problem with your last example is that people
        don’t take into account that she did change her life. They just want to
        not say anything at all.

  1. I agree and wish you had gone a bit further. Even when there’s no “good” reason for our sins, even when we’re just being perverse and selfish, we have a God who seeks to save us. True, we don’t know the hidden stories and can’t determine the seriousness of another’s sins. There’s no need. If we only love by telling ourselves that the sins of others aren’t really they’re fault, aren’t as bad as we think, we don’t love. We love because Christ loves us, even when our sins really are our faults, even when we can’t point to something that happened in our pasts.

    We don’t know that the woman caught in adultery had a “good” reason: a husband who abused her, a miserable past, a miscarriage. We only know, Christ loved her, gave her another chance. We, too, must go and do the same.

    Drusilla Barron

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