We Need to Hear More from The Dads

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lonelyI was watching the Pro-Life March on Washington for most of the day yesterday. I’ve smiled at how young the protesters look, marveled at the immense size of the crowd, and listened intently to the speakers. I’m in awe of this whole pro-life movement and how they continue to stand up for their fellow human beings without becoming discouraged. It’s been 41 years since Roe v. Wade, and yet this huge crowd of close to a half million people fills the streets with hope and determination.

The only thing I wish there were more of were men. The men are marching; they’re there. But I wish there were post-abortive fathers speaking up for the rights of the children they lost. Other than priests and politicians, the men seem to be mostly in silent or supporting roles, and I would like to see that change. At some point in the past 41 years, the media and pro-choice activists convinced the men of this country that abortion was a women’s issue and men needed to be silent. It is, after all, a woman’s body. It’s a woman’s decision. Abortion rights are somehow tied to the feminine persona it seems and therefore we need women to speak out about them.

And I agree.

It is a woman’s body; she is the one making this decision. And yet, it’s a man’s child too. It is his son or daughter who is butchered in the name of convenience. It’s his baby. It’s his heartbreak too. Why have we allowed these men to be silenced? Why have those of us who are concerned with the sanctity of life not pushed this point? Men are broken by abortion, too. They need to be allowed a voice. We need to hear from the dads. We need men to stand up and challenge the position that because they don’t possess a uterus, they aren’t entitled to an opinion.

One of the primary roles a father has in the life of his children, is to protect them and keep them safe. Abortion laws and liberal feminism, have silenced fathers and denied them the ability to do the very thing their instincts tell them to do – protect their babies. Further, societal pressures are such that it’s not accepted for fathers to speak about the pain and senses of helplessness and loss. We have, by codifying some sort of “autonomy” for women in law, stripped men of their dignity as fathers. We have made the role of fatherhood one that is completely dependent on the whim of someone else, i.e. the mother involved.

Would women accept such a thing? Would we allow men to tell us whether or not we were allowed to have children? Would we allow men to tell us how we were allowed to feel about our children, whether or not we were allowed to feel anything at all? Of course not.

The idea of someone dictating a woman’s emotions to her is absurd, and yet we have allowed liberal feminism  in the pro-choice movement to do this very thing to men. We have accepted the notion that men should have no input, no grief, no regrets about their aborted children. Why?  What is it about that Y chromosome that makes us think men are unfeeling or uncaring? Why are the fathers of miscarried children allowed the gift of their pain, and the fathers of aborted children told that their pain does not exist?

There are now generations of men who have been wounded by the violence of abortion and further wounded by a society that forbids them a voice. It’s time that those of us in the Pro-Life majority (because we are the majority) to stand up to the tyranny that denies them the right to speak for their children’s lives.

We hear quite often about the evil of men who force abortion on the women in their lives. Isn’t it time that we acknowledge the pain and suffering of the men who have had the violence of abortion forced upon them?

Rebecca Frech

Rebecca Frech

Rebecca Frech is a Cradle Catholic who came back to the Church in 2000, and thanks God for it every day. She lives just outside Dallas with her husband, the brilliant Computer Guy, their 7 not-quite-perfect children, and an ever-multiplying family of dust bunnies. When she’s not teaching math, neglecting housework, or reluctantly training for a marathon, she’s blogging at Shoved to Them.

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2 thoughts on “We Need to Hear More from The Dads”

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    You are so right! I was able to volunteer briefly at a crisis pregnancy center, and while they were glad to have me (as another warm body to help, I mean), I must have had at least 6 people there in the administration ask me if I knew any young men who could counsel. Any young pro-life men–who have been hurt by abortion or not–should consider ministry work in the pregnancy centers, because the men that get left in the waiting room while the woman is counseled and taken care of need that same care, personalized for them as *men*.

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