A Confession

I only recently started writing for Ignitum Today, with my first article being published a few weeks ago about standing against moral relativity. You can read it here if you want. In fact, I encourage it, because it plays a big role in what I’m about to share with you.

I was reading over that article the other day and trying to think of what I would write about for my next post when I realized something:

That blog is kind of pretentious, and vague, and badly argued, and doesn’t seem to serve any real purpose.

Actually, the more I read it, the stupider it started to sound. Who am I even talking to? Guess what, Catholics! Moral relativity is bad. Duh.

I mean, who does that writer think he is?

It’s not that I don’t agree with myself. Moral truth DOES exist, and moral relativity IS…well…wrong. I don’t think it’s poorly written either (toot toot), but it’s the tone of the article that bothers me. That isn’t me, not by a long shot, and it certainly wasn’t a good use of my time or talent (and there’s not a lot of that to waste).

Here I am, a converted, enthusiastic blogger with a year of Catholicism under my belt, ready to step out into a new territory and start writing about this faith that I’ve absolutely fallen in love with, and what do I do? I write some finger wagging, empty shell of a lecture on morality like I’m some type of theological know-it-all.

Please.

I’ve got a story to tell, a damn good one at that. Catholicism turned my life completely inside out. It changed the way I lived, the way I thought, and the way I perceived every little detail of my life. It saved me from certain damnation, and I’m really freakin’ excited about.

So why did I write that article? Why did I write something in a tone so removed from who I really am, about a subject that I really don’t know enough about?

Probably because deep down I want to be this mystifying theologian with a firm, awe inspiring grasp on the Catholic faith. Probably because my Priest once told me he thought I had the gift of insight, and I let it go to my head (Screwtape, you jerk). Probably because (for whatever reason) I felt like if I’m going to write about the Catholic faith, then I needed to do so in a proper, concise, and serious manner that focuses on the real issues facing the Church.

By the Grace of God, I started paying attention to the blogs of Simcha Fisher . The brutal, hilarious honesty from such a compassionate and imperfect Catholic hit me right in the gut. A light came on, and God said “Hey, dummy. Maybe when I called you to write, I wanted to write as yourself, not as this character you’re trying to be.”

So, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll write as me, as honestly as I can, flaws and all. And let me tell you, I’ve got a lot. I’m quick to anger. I can’t shut up. I curse too much (trying hard to fix that one. Pray for me) I love to argue. I question God. I question His teachings, and I even question His calling for my life. But I love Him, and I love His Church, and at the end of the day, my trust is with Him.

I am an astoundingly imperfect human being with a big mouth and a calling to spread God’s word.

Full speed ahead!