I was on facebook today on a fifteen minute break from the wonderful world of taking calls.
I love going on facebook for the simple pleasure of catching little inspirations usually everytime I go on.
The post I loved today was “trust in the Lord with all your heart on your own intelligence rely not” (Proverbs 3:5).
I really needed this whisper from God because of the things I am praying for this month. Some of the things I’m asking for are seriously very hard to believe I’ll receive. I always come up with fifteen reasons why God won’t answer those very prayers I want answered so badly.
One of the things I am praying for is to be like St Anne, the mother of our Lady. I’ve been rereading my copy of The Mystical City of God by Venerable Mary of Agreda; however, only the chapter which speaks of St Anne and St Joachim before the birth of their Holy Virgin. It says of St Anne,
“In the infused virtues of faith, hope and love she was unexcelled. Equipped with all these gifts, she continued to pray for the coming of the Messias. Her prayers were so acceptable to the Lord, that to her He could but answer with the words of the Spouse: “Thou hast wounded my heart with one of the hairs of thy neck” (Cant. 4, 9). Therefore, without doubt, saint Anne holds a high position among the saints of the old Testament, who by their merits hastened the coming of the Redemeer. This woman also prayed most fervently, that the Almighty deign to procure for her in matrimony a husband, who should help her to observe the ancient law and testament, and to be perfect in the fulfillment of all its precepts.”
My intelligence tells me I’m nothing like St Anne. In fact, it reminds me continuously that to be like St Anne is next to impossible. Yet I can’t help wanting to imitate this holy matron who won the honor of being the mother of the mother of Christ. I want to imitate her in making acceptable prayers to the Lord. I want to pray the prayers that are very pleasing to God. And one of the very pleasing prayers to God was St Anne’s persevering prayers for a good husband. I do imiatate St Anne in this way because I pray for the same for me.
And yet my intelligence always seems to tell me that God will just grant me whatever man comes along and I’ll just have to settle for whoever because God just doesn’t make St Joachims anymore. Sometimes I want to agree with my intelligence because it provides such a convincing argument; you just don’t read headlines about faithful and God fearing holy husbands.
And then there’s me. I’m not exactly the most unselfish woman that ever lived. I can’t even share a bag of chips with my coworker because I want to eat them all.
What does my intelligence know anyway?
The good it did do me was take me straight to the Catechism. On the Sacrament of Marriage section I read a beautiful meditation which gave me more courage to believe that God being the Author of my life will also be the Awesome Author of my married life. My future married life is hidden from me, along with all its trials and triumphs. But in no moment am I going to be afraid that God will leave my future husband to chance. I know that even if my Mr. Forever isn’t perfect, he’s sure going to come pretty close because God hears our prayers.
Almighty and Loving Father,
Hear my humble prayer, please grant your favor to the prayer of my lips and favor the requests of my heart. Be a Good Father and bring me a man after your own heart. Amen