Tested By Fire – But I’m Still Catholic

“In this you rejoice, although now for a little while you may have to suffer through various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith, more precious than gold that is perishable even though tested by fire, may prove to be for praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” – 1 Peter 1:7

During my time as an undergraduate in college my faith had been challenged and tested a number of times. There were days I felt utterly attacked for being a Catholic, and I wanted to crawl up into a ball and simply cry. As a science and education major in a public university I was surrounded by professors, who used fear-mongering tactics to belittle and degrade the Catholics in our classes, and then students who were hostile towards Catholicism.

The first time I experienced negative behavior towards me for my faith was during a six-hour organic chemistry lab. I was standing near the Bunsen burner holding a test tube in my hand, and all of a sudden in front of me stood a young woman who glared at me directly in the eyes with pursed lips and an uplifted brow. She blurted out to me, “For such a smart and intelligent woman, I can’t understand how you can be a Catholic.” I just stood there frozen in disbelief, and I wanted to answer her question as a million thoughts ran through my mind, but at the same time anger overcame me, and so I remained in silence. Then another student came up towards my side, and began making the sign of the cross, and mockingly asked me, “So is it left to right, or right to left, how is it that you Catholics bless yourselves?” With a smirk on her face she reached over and touched my crucifix, and told me that I should not wear it because it offended her. 

Lab class that day seemed as if it would never end. I wish I could say that the taunts ended right there, but it continued throughout the rest of my time working on my experiment that memorable day. Later as we continued to wait for our solutions to evaporate, so that we were only left with the substrate, one of the young women appeared to pass out right in front of me. I looked down as she began laughing and shouted out, “Look, I’m Jesus, I claim to heal others, but really I just fainted.” She got up, and continued to chuckle before bowing to one of the Protestants in the class. He became enraged and told her to go over towards me and bow because I was the Catholic and Catholics are the ones who bow to the cross. 

I remember feeling as if I wanted to cry, but then at the same time wanting to let them have it. I continued working on my experiment while praying to God in silence. I asked Him to take care of the situation because I knew that there was nothing that I could do. I am not sure if it was coincidence or not, but towards the end of our lab class that day the individuals involved in poking fun at Catholicism had to do their experiments over again because their lab stations went up in flames, literally. The professor was horrified because she could not understand how my experiment was fine but the two groups in the same row had their hot plates catch on fire, and their end products completely destroyed. 

There were also days that I felt as if I was paying tuition just to have my faith bashed by the instructors. I was sitting in an education class one Thursday evening, and my professor ended one of his sentences with, “Remember, we want to tell the truth, not be like Catholic priests, and lie.” The same instructor, who was also the department chair, decided he wanted us to have a class just to celebrate the summer solstice with ritualistic hand-washing before we were to sit in a large circle while surrounding a fire out in the courtyard. I recall him turning to me one day with an odd smile, and saying that he was fascinated by Catholics. The question of this all being to test my faith definitely came into my mind.

Another time I was in a psychology class, and the professor made it very clear she was an atheist. When talking about schizophrenia she used Moses talking to the burning bush in the Old Testament as an example of someone who has schizophrenia. I ended up with a lower grade in that class because of being a Catholic.

Besides having my faith challenged, there were often moments that it was tested. I received an invitation more times than I can remember to join friends in attending other “churches”. After being asked over and over again to accompany them it became more and more difficult to dodge their requests. I knew that constantly refusing to go with them was causing a strain in our friendship. One of my friends was the most persistent, and begged and pleaded with me to just come once because her pastor really wanted to meet me.

It was on a Friday night that I almost gave in to her request, but as I was walking to my car on my way to go to her “church” youth group I had this overwhelming feeling of complete dread, and felt a nudge from within me to call my Catholic friend, who was also supposed to go that night. After dialing her number there was complete silence on the other end once she answered the call. I heard a couple of breaths, and then I spoke first saying, “I can’t go. I don’t want to go, it doesn’t feel right to me.” I heard a sigh of relief on the other end as she blurted out, “I know, I feel like I’m cheating on the Church!” I told her how I felt the exact same way, and we both did not go to the Evangelical “church” that evening. Actually, we wound up never going at all.

How is leaving Catholicism to go to another “church” cheating on the Catholic Church? The Catholic Church has the whole and complete truth even though there are elements of the truth in the various denominations of Christianity. As a Catholic I know and believe that the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass is a re-presentation of the same sacrifice that occurred at Calvary, and at Holy Communion we receive the actual and real Body and Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Eucharist. Because I know this truth lies within the bosom of the Catholic Church no matter what has confronted me on my life’s journey; the many obstacles and hardships, I have remained a Catholic. I will always stay a Catholic.

Photo: Neonbrand, Unsplash / PD-US