Tag Archives: jealousy

Spiritual Envy

In the Gospel on 23 May, the Apostles witnessed other people “driving out demons” and they grew jealous. John asked Jesus to stop them, but Jesus did the exact opposite, saying: anyone who is not against us, they are for us.

Everyone has the right to use the powerful name of Jesus for something good and noble.

Therein lies the beauty of Christianity: Jesus is for everyone, not just for ourselves. It is in sharing Jesus with others that we experience true joy.

Some of us fall prey to spiritual and intellectual pride. Sometimes we say that we are always working for Jesus and that we know Him very well. It is exactly in this that we are not true followers of Christ.

We need to recognize the good in others and not grow jealous. In our world today, there are so many of us who grow jealous when others around us do something good. We get jealous that WE were not the ones who did the good deed, that WE didn’t get the praise and credit.

But the real call to the cross is this. Can we put our selves (ego) down and raise others up, are we (really) happy when others do good things in society? Can we feel true joy that someone out there is contributing to the good in the world?

We need to be generous in attitude — appreciating that someone out there is continuing the mission of Christ.

Prayers today for those struggling with spiritual pride. May you have a generous heart and rejoice in the fact that others in this family of Christ are continuing His Mission!

___

Originally posted at Catholic Rambles. Image: PD-US

When Jealousy Threatens Joy

Well folks, summer is nearly over – also known as “Wedding Season”.

Now, I love weddings. The dressing up, the sacraments, the love, the tears.

All good things.

And don’t forget about the post-wedding goodies! Dancing, food, fellowship, pictures, videos, marriage.

Again, all good things.

There are people who would comment that I’m in that stage of life when everyone is pairing and marrying, and to an extent, they’d be right. The mid-twenties: an age where it seems that EVERYONE is getting married.

It’s true, many of my friends have entered marriage this year – I’ve been in three of these weddings since March! Yet, in a way, it feels as if I’ve been in this stage of “marriage is the thing to do” for a while.

I have friends who married young, while we were still in college.

I have friends who married after they graduated, but while I was still in school.

Then there were the friends marrying the summer of our college graduation.

And throughout these three years following college, nearly each season has been filled with friends entering into this next chapter.

I’ve begun to wonder: how does one fully embrace the joy one has for friends entering marriage while feeling the heartache of longing for that vocation?

Recently, I watched the wedding video of a friend from high school. The love he and his new wife share is palpable. I was moved to tears, and I realized that these tears weren’t simply happy ones, but slightly sad ones shed for myself.

Don’t get me wrong – I am overjoyed for each and every one of my friends who have entered and will enter into this sacrament. To witness the love between two people is incredible, so to witness the love between two people you love is overwhelming. It’s truly an honor to share in their joy.

And yet, I feel the twinge of jealousy. Just a twinge, followed by a wave of guilt. What’s wrong with me?! These are my friends getting married!

I try to focus on the joy and ignore the ache of my heart saying “Ah, why not me?”

But pushing down these feelings, this ache, pretending that I don’t feel the way I do…. this doesn’t make it go away. The struggle is real, y’all. I’m convinced that there is nothing quite like the pain of waiting for your vocation, especially when you’re certain of God’s call for you.

I had a moment in prayer weeks ago – while simultaneously driving because, hey, why not make the best of that highway time? – during which I saw this image of when I’m finally married to the man God created for me, and I am able to look at my husband and say “You were so worth the wait.” Many emotions washed over me in my mind’s eye – that feeling of “home” and gratitude for the struggle.

Call this prophesy or a glimpse of my future for the sake of keeping hope alive in my heart, but whatever it was, I’m grateful for it. For the first time, my heart believes that whenever that day comes, when my husband and I are together at last, the pain and longing and tears will all have been worth it.

The Lord has fulfilled other promises He’s made to me, why do I doubt that He will fulfill this one as well? Trust is the only cure and one of the hardest things to develop.

It’s difficult to close this post, because I have no resolution. This struggle between the ache of my heart and the bubbling over joy is an on-going reality.

I will continue to bask in the glow of my loved ones who have found the one for whom their soul longs.

I will continue to allow myself to feel what I feel, yet not dwell on these emotions which crush my hope.

I will continue to cling to the cross, knowing that He will fulfill the desires He’s placed on my heart.