When Waiting is Real...

In reaction to the increasing physical immorality spreading through society today, and in an attempt to counter the message  constantly being sold through advertising, movies, music, and even best-selling books that says sexual intimacy is not only okay, but expected, outside of marriage,...

Why English is the B...

I’m sure you’ve heard it. Your Spanish or French or German speaking friends have mentioned that English is just lacking when it comes to “love.” Maybe you heard in a homily or a talk at a retreat all about the top three Greek words for love (philia, agape, eros), or the...

A Catholic Valentine...

If you are a warm-blooded, sentient, and rational American who desires to love and be loved, then you have probably experienced at some point in your life a profusion of emotions in the days leading up to and on Valentine’s Day. How could you not? From the time of our youth and...

A God-Centered Roman...

“Choose someone God-fearing, and make God the center of your relationship.” When this advice was given in a talk for college students about dating and marriage, a girl in the audience asked, “If we’re going to be thinking of God all the time, how can our relationship be...

The Single Best Way ...

When Lisa Selin Davis told a cabdriver she was going to have an abortion, he pulled the car over on the Brooklyn Bridge in a blizzard. He begged her not to do it. Davis, then a 22-year-old aspiring filmmaker, had conceived the child with a married man she met at a film shoot. But she...

Why Chaste People Sh...

Ten years ago, I crossed a modest stage in a well-lit gymnatorium at a private, Protestant school. I was one of 14 high school seniors who wore royal blue caps and gowns and breathed happy sighs of relief upon being given what meant more to us than diplomas: Freedom. For me, freedom meant...

The Myth of 100%

With my own marriage mere weeks old now, I can’t help but reflect on this notion that you have to be 100% sure about the person you are going to marry before you get engaged. Somehow this notion of “100% certainty” has taken over with many of my friends near and far. Allow...

Those That Came Befo...

To all of those who came before: Thank you. Thank you for having the courage to end things, even though it may have been hard. Thank you for recognizing that I wasn’t “The One,” even if I told you that idea was insane. Thank you for letting me go so that God could bring...

When Dating Is Hard

First, there is the question of meeting someone. And if you meet a person you like so much, and maybe they like you too, the bigger questions start to emerge. Our short-term selves may want to be in a relationship, but our long-term selves need to consider the investment dating requires of...

Denied the City

But when sex is divorced from love there is a feeling that one has been stopped at the vestibule of the castle of pleasure; that the heart has been denied the city after crossing the bridge. Sadness and melancholy result from such a frustration of destiny, for it is the nature of man to be...

The Biggest Announce...

Since Feb. 28, 2013 — the last day of Pope Benedict’s papacy — I’ve been harboring a secret. A secret I’m ready to share. I sat that morning at the kitchen table, typing grateful Tweets to the pope and waiting to receive news that would make or break my day (and...

Can A Woman Pursue A...

My short answer to this question is yes: I absolutely think it’s possible for a woman to pursue a man, in a real, genuine way that neither defies who we are in our femininity nor buys into what the culture has to offer. Until I was in my 20s, my dating experience was limited, to say the...

Just Don’t Say...

You are not the chewed up gum that is stuck to the sidewalk and trampled on. You are not the spit water in the cup that everyone has spit in after swishing water around in their mouth while eating an Oreo. You are not the duct tape or the post-it note that no longer sticks. Let me make this...

Chastity Is More Tha...

I blame the pig roast. When I was 19, a friend invited me to his family’s annual Labor Day Party.  I came with two friends and a baguette.  I left with a huge crush.  I’d already known my friend to be a man of deep faith, teller of cornball jokes, lover of Emma‘s Mr....

Is Monogamy Unnatura...

According to a column last month on CNN.com, to honor each other as man and wife for the rest of our lives is probably impossible. “Strict sexual fidelity is a lofty but perhaps fundamentally doomed aspiration,” wrote Meghan Laslocky, the column’s writer and author of The...

Not Alone: “Ju...

The dreaded phrase, “I think it would be better if we were just friends“, has been feared by teenagers for decades.  The fear that, after professing love for a girl, she’ll look at him and whip out this infamous line has kept many a boy from even suggesting that next...

Not Ready For Heaven...

When Roger Ebert died of cancer a few months ago, I came across this article he wrote about his wife, whom he adored, and their frequent wanderings and adventures.  Maybe it was just my pregnancy hormones, but I couldn’t stop crying.  It was her second marriage and his first, late in...

Is Virginity at Marr...

  In a column last month on Salon.com, Jessica Ciencin Henriquez – a fabulous writer, as far as I can tell – called her virginity at marriage a mistake. Wedding night sex was not what the church (nor the purity ring she wore) promised it would be. Neither was her marriage. Six...

Five Books for Summe...

Summer officially started last week, which means the annual sale on beach paperbacks has begun.  But since many of the quick-read bestsellers are not exactly the best “food for the soul”, I’d like to recommend these five books to all of those seeking to go a bit deeper...

Raise Your Standards

“To a great extent the level of any civilization is the level of its womanhood. When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of her. The higher her virtue, the more noble her character, the more devoted she is to truth, justice, and goodness, the more a man has to aspire to be worthy of...

Abstinence, Chastity...

Abstinence may be a mere means to an end, but it’s often given a bit of a bad rap. Indeed, in the recent spate of posts on the subject here and throughout the Catholic blogosphere, abstinence is treated at best as the pesky little brother of chastity, and at worst it becomes the root of all...

Sex Ed and Men and t...

In all the discussions about abstinence-only sex ed  there is much talk about spit and water, licked ice cream cones, and tape that is no longer sticky. Obviously, as many other writers have already pointed out,  that kind of abstinence-only sex ed leaves much to be desired,...

The Top Five Ways to -NOT- Grow in Emotional Purity May02

The Top Five Ways to...

After listening to a great talk issued by Lighthouse Catholic Media’s new young adult line, Truth be Told, I found myself greatly in need of an emotional chastity makeover.  The talk, entitled “Why Do Women Do That?” and given by Lisa Cotter, examined the way a woman’s mind works, how...

The Kleisman Trophy Dec20

The Kleisman Trophy

It’s not my tradition to be glued to the tube for the Heisman Trophy Award Show, but this year was different.  I’m a K-State Wildcat alumna and one of our own, Collin Klein, was one of the three finalists for the award.  And as Johnny Manzel from Texas A & M was handed the trophy...

Pre-Marital Counseli...

The Feature of Florida, the Rockin’ Wave of the West Coast of the Atlantic, the Goodness of the Gulf, Arleen Spenceley asked for a guest post on pre-marital counseling.  Here is part of my response with linkage to “the rest of the story.”  Arleen also contributes over here...

Why I Wear a Purity ...

From the Roman collar to the brown scapular, the Church has developed a plethora of physical signs one can sport to testify to his faith or vocation.  A more recent one which- though not invented by the Church- is gaining popularity not only in various Christians circles but also in Catholic...

how a woman can win

“New research shows that The Pill reduces lubrication, arousal, and a woman”s ability to orgasm, thus lending credence to my theory that a lot of hormonal birth control “controls” whether or not you give “birth” by making you never want to have sex. We just...

Love Like the Movies Sep25

Love Like the Movies

  Why do we love movie romances so much, and why do we desire for the love stories in movies to happen to us? Really, why do all of us want to be in love like the movies? “But in the movies they’re not in love at all…” We can never be in love like the movies, (I...

Not So Complicated Sep22

Not So Complicated

Flying home, the college lady next to me mentioned she was in a “complicated” relationship with someone back home. I smiled and said I’d been there. “Make sure you draw clear lines,” I said. “Relationships don’t have to be complicated.” Perhaps this sounds too simplistic – as...

The Honest Truth: Sh...

For the average practicing Catholic, dating can be really fun. After all, you're young, ready to discern marriage, and maybe even ready to start a family of your own. But when it comes to the questions...

Oh Good Heavens! Aug03

Oh Good Heavens!

I had no idea when I wrote my last post that it would generate so much controversy. I certainly had no idea it would offend so many people. I assure you I meant no offense against anyone. The whole post started out as a private joke in a conversation with my cousin, and since the concept...

So dude, do you have...

Allow me to take you way, way back in time….all the way to 2007! (Hey, five years is a lot when you’re still in high school.) I had moved from Connecticut to Texas the year before, and was finally getting around to reconnecting with all my friends from back East. I didn’t...

I don’t wanna ...

One night last week I was driving home late with all five kids sleeping soundly in their car seats when Lady Antebellum’s song “Just a Kiss” came on the radio. I don’t know if it was the long day away from home or the fact that I was missing my husband after his long stretch of 12 hour...

Date the Fat Guys, Ladies Jul10

Date the Fat Guys, L...

In what can only be described as “true love,” I agreed to marry my fiance without ever dancing with him. Perhaps this seems impossible, improbable, or a smallish point in the grand scheme of our love. But I tell you, it is not. I come from a dancing family. My mom and dad fell in...

Single Catholic Guy:...

It’s never been a better time to be a single Catholic guy. Why? Because there are thousands of lovely, faithful young Catholic women waiting for you to step up to the plate and court them! Yet many Catholic guys are unsure about themselves, uncertain, dithering, wavering,...

Sharing Your Faith F...

Like an increasing number of young adult couples, I’m in a long distance relationship. Although there are many unique challenges and joys of dating from afar, one of the more interesting hurdles is how to share our faith with one another. Sometimes, opportunities present themselves. When...

Easier than you think Oct20

Easier than you thin...

Today is day 183 of the romantic relationship with my beau. Six months, half an anniversary, the six-mensiversary, a nanoversary, halfaversary, something somewhat silly to celebrate. Or is it? Rather than swoon to you about the awesome man in my life, I thought I’d take a crack at how we...

10 Tips for Catholic...

Guest post by Julie Rodrigues 1. Be open, not desperate. If you are still single, know that a boyfriend/girlfriend is a gift, not something you can force or work for. Live your life focused on putting God first, investing in a deeper relationship with him and with others, but remaining OPEN....

When Culture Screws ...

When deciding as to whether or not I would publish this post, I consulted a few dear friends of mine. With varying consensus, I then read this post by Matthew Archbold at NCRegister and so here it is. We are all victims. We are all not victims. “He rescued righteous Lot, oppressed by...

Dating with an Audience Sep22

Dating with an Audie...

Imagine you’re sitting next to the man or woman who makes your heart audible through your shirt. This person sits with hands in lap, playing hopscotch with his or her gaze, directing and redirecting them from the floor to your eyes. You speak in nervous, hushed tones, asking one another...