Author Archive: Arleen Spenceley

Arleen Spenceley is author of the book Chastity Is For Lovers: Single, Happy, and (Still) a Virgin, to be released by Ave Maria Press on Dec. 8, 2014. She has a master's degree in rehabilitation and mental health counseling from the University of South Florida and a bachelor's degree in journalism from the same university. She works as a staff writer for the Tampa Bay Times.

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The Single Best Way to Reduce Abortions

The Single Best Way to Reduce Abortions

[ 3 ] July 26, AD 2014 |

When Lisa Selin Davis told a cabdriver she was going to have an abortion, he pulled the car over on the Brooklyn Bridge in a blizzard. He begged her not to do it. Davis, then a 22-year-old aspiring filmmaker, had conceived the child with a married man she met at a film shoot. But she […]

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Why Chaste People Should Get Uncomfortable

Why Chaste People Should Get Uncomfortable

[ 18 ] June 28, AD 2014 |

Ten years ago, I crossed a modest stage in a well-lit gymnatorium at a private, Protestant school. I was one of 14 high school seniors who wore royal blue caps and gowns and breathed happy sighs of relief upon being given what meant more to us than diplomas: Freedom. For me, freedom meant transition. It […]

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Thoughts On Being Alone

Thoughts On Being Alone

[ 5 ] May 3, AD 2014 |

I sit today in a silent church, the only one in the pew. The only one in the building. I think about the time I was a bridesmaid, buzzed because of a drink but sobered by my status: Single. The only single person in the bridal party. Totally unattached, no prospects. I shook it off, […]

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Emotions: A Human Thing, Not a Woman Thing

Emotions: A Human Thing, Not a Woman Thing

[ 2 ] January 11, AD 2014 |

Last month, a fellow blogger asked me what I — as a woman — think it means to be a man. So in a comment on his blog, I wrote the following: I could write a whole post (and perhaps I will after I finish my book!). But here’s what comes to mind at first: A […]

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The Biggest Announcement I Have Ever Made

The Biggest Announcement I Have Ever Made

[ 1 ] October 19, AD 2013 |

Since Feb. 28, 2013 — the last day of Pope Benedict’s papacy — I’ve been harboring a secret. A secret I’m ready to share. I sat that morning at the kitchen table, typing grateful Tweets to the pope and waiting to receive news that would make or break my day (and potentially change my life). […]

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Three Lessons and Two Tips From Audrey Assad

Three Lessons and Two Tips From Audrey Assad

[ 4 ] September 22, AD 2013 |

3 Lessons and 2 Tips is a series of interviews on my blog in which some of my favorite people (and probably some of yours) share three lessons they’ve learned by being married, plus two tips for single people. This edition – which originally appeared on my blog – features Audrey Assad, a Catholic and […]

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Thoughts On Protestants and Catholics

Thoughts On Protestants and Catholics

[ 13 ] August 23, AD 2013 |

I missed the quiet years for a minute today when I stumbled upon an abrasive tweet about the pope, written by an evangelical Christian. The quiet years are the six I spent not texting, the two or three sans social media, the life before my smartphone (which I only have owned since December). I missed […]

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Is Monogamy Unnatural?

Is Monogamy Unnatural?

[ 3 ] July 27, AD 2013 |

According to a column last month on CNN.com, to honor each other as man and wife for the rest of our lives is probably impossible. “Strict sexual fidelity is a lofty but perhaps fundamentally doomed aspiration,” wrote Meghan Laslocky, the column’s writer and author of The Little Book of Heartbreak: Love Gone Wrong Through the Ages. […]

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Is Virginity at Marriage a Mistake?

Is Virginity at Marriage a Mistake?

[ 7 ] June 29, AD 2013 |

  In a column last month on Salon.com, Jessica Ciencin Henriquez – a fabulous writer, as far as I can tell – called her virginity at marriage a mistake. Wedding night sex was not what the church (nor the purity ring she wore) promised it would be. Neither was her marriage. Six months into it, […]

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Modesty Only Works When it Isn’t Distorted

Modesty Only Works When it Isn’t Distorted

[ 5 ] December 15, AD 2012 |

If one thing stands out about a trip I took to South Beach back in May, it’s this: I have never seen so much butt on a beach. Our first day there, I stepped off the boardwalk behind the hotel and onto the sand, far too close for comfort to a woman who – while holding […]

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I’m Not Saving Myself for Marriage

I’m Not Saving Myself for Marriage

[ 13 ] November 17, AD 2012 |

I’m not saving myself for marriage. First, I know no follower of Christ who thinks any of us can save ourselves. Secondly, to say “I’m saving myself” when you mean “I’m saving sex” equates who you are – and therefore your worth – with sex. But your worth is wrapped up in nothing except your […]

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Teen Pregnancy Isn’t the Problem

Teen Pregnancy Isn’t the Problem

[ 38 ] October 20, AD 2012 |

One recent evening, I shook a bottle of hot sauce over my burger and watched the news from the kitchen table. Popular that night was the story of a set of New York City schools that are part of a pilot program in which female students who are 14 and up can access Plan B, […]

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