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Author Archive: Arleen Spenceley

Arleen Spenceley is author of the book Chastity Is For Lovers: Single, Happy, and (Still) a Virgin (Ave Maria Press, 2014). She has a master's degree in rehabilitation and mental health counseling from the University of South Florida and a bachelor's degree in journalism from the same university. She works as a staff writer for the Tampa Bay Times, and blogs at arleenspenceley.com.

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Fr. Mike Schmitz, on Discerning Vocations: “Be More Courageous”

January 3, AD 2015 4 Comments
Fr. Mike Schmitz, on Discerning Vocations: “Be More Courageous”

This post is part of a monthly series on my blog, called PRIESTS & NUNS ARE COOL! in which I interview a priest or a nun about his or her vocation — and about how adults who haven’t discerned a vocation yet can discover their own. This edition features Fr. Mike Schmitz, the chaplain for Newman […]

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The Single Best Way to Reduce Abortions

July 26, AD 2014 3 Comments
The Single Best Way to Reduce Abortions

When Lisa Selin Davis told a cabdriver she was going to have an abortion, he pulled the car over on the Brooklyn Bridge in a blizzard. He begged her not to do it. Davis, then a 22-year-old aspiring filmmaker, had conceived the child with a married man she met at a film shoot. But she […]

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Why Chaste People Should Get Uncomfortable

June 28, AD 2014 18 Comments
Why Chaste People Should Get Uncomfortable

Ten years ago, I crossed a modest stage in a well-lit gymnatorium at a private, Protestant school. I was one of 14 high school seniors who wore royal blue caps and gowns and breathed happy sighs of relief upon being given what meant more to us than diplomas: Freedom. For me, freedom meant transition. It […]

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Thoughts On Being Alone

May 3, AD 2014 5 Comments
Thoughts On Being Alone

I sit today in a silent church, the only one in the pew. The only one in the building. I think about the time I was a bridesmaid, writing paper buzzed because of a drink but sobered by my status: Single. The only single person in the bridal party. Totally unattached, no prospects. I shook […]

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Emotions: A Human Thing, Not a Woman Thing

January 11, AD 2014 2 Comments
Emotions: A Human Thing, Not a Woman Thing

Last month, a fellow blogger asked me what I — as a woman — think it means to be a man. So in a comment on his blog, I wrote the following: I could write a whole post (and perhaps I will after I finish my book!). But here’s what comes to mind at first: A […]

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The Biggest Announcement I Have Ever Made

October 19, AD 2013 1 Comment
The Biggest Announcement I Have Ever Made

Since Feb. 28, 2013 — the last day of Pope Benedict’s papacy — I’ve been harboring a secret. A secret I’m ready to share. I sat that morning at the kitchen table, typing grateful Tweets to the pope and waiting to receive news that would make or break my day (and potentially change my life). […]

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Three Lessons and Two Tips From Audrey Assad

September 22, AD 2013 4 Comments
Three Lessons and Two Tips From Audrey Assad

3 Lessons and 2 Tips is a series of interviews on my blog in which some of my favorite people (and probably some of yours) share three lessons they’ve learned by being married, plus two tips for single people. This edition – which originally appeared on my blog – features Audrey Assad, a Catholic and […]

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Thoughts On Protestants and Catholics

August 23, AD 2013 13 Comments
Thoughts On Protestants and Catholics

I missed the quiet years for a minute today when I stumbled upon an abrasive tweet about the pope, written by an evangelical Christian. The quiet years are the six I spent not texting, the two or three sans social media, the life before my smartphone (which I only have owned since December). I missed […]

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Is Monogamy Unnatural?

July 27, AD 2013 3 Comments
Is Monogamy Unnatural?

According to a column last month on CNN.com, to honor each other as man and wife for the rest of our lives is probably impossible. “Strict sexual fidelity is a lofty but perhaps fundamentally doomed aspiration,” wrote Meghan Laslocky, the column’s writer and author of The Little Book of Heartbreak: Love Gone Wrong Through the Ages. […]

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Is Virginity at Marriage a Mistake?

June 29, AD 2013 7 Comments
Is Virginity at Marriage a Mistake?

  In a column last month on Salon.com, Jessica Ciencin Henriquez – a fabulous writer, as far as I can tell – called her virginity at marriage a mistake. Wedding night sex was not what the church (nor the purity ring she wore) promised it would be. Neither was her marriage. Six months into it, […]

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Modesty Only Works When it Isn’t Distorted

December 15, AD 2012 5 Comments
Modesty Only Works When it Isn’t Distorted

If one thing stands out about a trip I took to South Beach back in May, it’s this: I have never seen so much butt on a beach. Our first day there, I stepped off the boardwalk behind the hotel and onto the sand, far too close for comfort to a woman who – while holding […]

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I’m Not Saving Myself for Marriage

November 17, AD 2012 13 Comments
I’m Not Saving Myself for Marriage

I’m not saving myself for marriage. First, I know no follower of Christ who thinks any of us can save ourselves. Secondly, to say “I’m saving myself” when you mean “I’m saving sex” equates who you are – and therefore your worth – with sex. But your worth is wrapped up in nothing except your […]

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Teen Pregnancy Isn’t the Problem

October 20, AD 2012 38 Comments
Teen Pregnancy Isn’t the Problem

One recent evening, I shook a bottle of hot sauce over my burger and watched the news from the kitchen table. Popular that night was the story of a set of New York City schools that are part of a pilot program in which female students who are 14 and up can access Plan B, […]

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