6 Reasons Why Everyone Should Have Kids

A couple weeks ago, Time Magazine had a article titled Having It All Without Children. Suffice to say the following quote summarizes the entire piece quit accurately:

Even so, women who choose not to become mothers are finding new paths of acceptance. As their ranks rise, so do positive attitudes about leading a life in which having it all doesn’t mean having a baby.

Now, I’m not a woman, but I am a father. When I saw this headline pop up in my facebook feed, I was surprised to see that several people had commented in favor of its stance. In fact, every commenter agreed that not having children was the best decision they had never made.

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To make matters worse, I was the only one to contend that having children was the single greatest thing that had ever happened to me.

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And so, the following 6 reasons why everyone should have kids are my response to said commenters and pesky online article:

1. Kids change your perspective on the world

Before my wife and I found out we were expecting, we were world travelers and success seekers. We spent our time and energy attempting to discover and, to an extent, defy the world. When our first child was born, we held her in our hands and became servants to something much greater. Indeed, the entire world was now in our hands.

2. Children can regulate your diet well

When I was in college (and for several years thereafter), I could survive on Ramen Noodles and hot dogs. I was 6’4” and 180 pounds of skinny. When I married my wife, my eating habits got better, but a missionary year in Mexico thwarted our health efforts as we had to adhere to a missionary’s diet.

All that changed when we came back to the States and began to have children. Our diets mirrored that of our kids’. We began to eat the right stuff at the right times because we wanted our young’ns to grow up healthy. As a result, we too became healthy.

3. Children build your muscles

Every time I pick up my daughters, I’m reminded of Stanley Yelnats’ great-great-great grandfather from the book Holes. He had to carry a pig up a mountain every day for several years and, as the pig got fatter, Stanley’s great-great-great grandfather got stronger.

I carry, run, bounce, toss, tackle, tickle, hop, squat and bench press my kids 100+ times a day. In fact, I was a collegiate athlete and being a father has proven to be just as, if not more effective in my muscle retention than when i was training 6 days a week, 5 hours a day.

4. Babies make you more flexible

Between 3 a.m. wakeup calls, toddler gymnastics, weekend visits to grandma and grandpa’s house and constant birthday parties, your schedule after having children gets packed. How you find ways to give of yourself and still find time for your spouse, hobbies and work defines your physical and mental stability. Creating an effective, yet flexible schedule becomes Do-or-Die for parents and, for the most part, the majority to indeed do.

5. Your own children make you concerned for the future

I never was a political guy. I never voted, I cared little about the environment and my religious beliefs were very personal. When my family began to multiply, their well-being became my number one priority and that included their safety long after I would leave them in death.

The decisions I make now reverberate into eternity and as such, I’ve recognized and taken on more positions of power within my community to make sure the world is a better place for my kids. Ultimately, my mission is to make sure that they get to heaven

6. Kids make you happier.

True love is defined by Christ as the limit by which you are willing to give of yourself to another (John 15:13). There is something about the love a parent has for their child that supersedes all other loves, even the love one has for their spouse. You see, when two people who love each other bear the fruit of their love in children, the result is an eternal echo of humble service that both mother and father are called to complete by God Himself. Children require both parents to sacrifice their own selfish desires daily. In these sacrifices there is found an eternal return of smiles, giggles, hugs and snuggles. In short, in children, couples find celestial joy.

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In conclusion, I have no problem with a couple’s decision to not have children if they do not desire. However, I’ve come to the realization that there is no better way to get to heaven than by exercising the necessary patience, self-control, understanding and happiness that being a parent requires.

I’m sure your parents would say the same.

Update: A sequel to this piece titled “6 More Reasons Why Everyone Should Have Kids” was published in December of 2013. Check it out. 

TJ Burdick

TJ Burdick

TJ Burdick is the lead author of One Body, Many Blogs, Advice for Christian Bloggers. He is also a school teacher by trade, a lay Catholic by grace and a husband and father of three by vocation. He writes to help support Catholic charities and to put food on the table for his family as his teaching wages are very humble. When he is not enjoying time with his family, you can find him planning his next big lesson or locked inside an adoration chapel. You can find more of his work at @ tjburdick.com.

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508 thoughts on “6 Reasons Why Everyone Should Have Kids”

  1. la Catholic state

    Also children prevent you from getting fat (and greedy). There is no way I can eat a whole cheese cake on my own…..now that I have children. Before…..I wouldn’t think twice about it.

    1. Ha! I know. I can’t get through a bowl of cereal anymore unless half of it goes to the flock.

      1. I love how religious ideologues refer to their adherents as ‘flock’. It is telling of their outlook on people and life.

      2. I think it’s a particularly Jewish and Christian thing, but perhaps most explicitly Christian: we have a lot of pastoral language, that is, language about a pastor (shepherd) looking after his or her sheep. At least in our language, flocks and sheep are the ones who we look after, perhaps the ones that have been specifically entrusted to us.

      3. But sheep don’t trust their shepherd. They have no choice. They are slaves that are kept safe from predators only to be consumed by humans.

      4. Sheep are also remarkably stupid, but as usual with imagery and metaphors, it is not every aspect that is meant to be seized upon. “The sheep know my voice,” Jesus says, and “I lay down my life for my sheep.” That is the essence of the Christian use of these shepherd terms.

      5. My name is maria johan from Malaysia. My boyfriend left me a month agolder than him,i feel like my life is completely over. I read over the internet how a spell caster have help several people to get there love back. I have been depress for the past one month and what i need is to get him back and live with him happily. so i decided to give it a try so i contacted the spell caster called Dr.Trust and explain my problems to him and he cast a love spell which i use to get my boyfriend back and now my life is complete and both of us are very happy with the relationship. and i am throughly grateful to this man,his contact email is ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com Thank you very much and i am extremely greatful Tel: +2348156885231.And there is know evil attach to his spell.it will only make your relationship very stronger

      6. i love how atheists dont have the reading comprehension to know the difference between someone talking about their religious adherents and their CHILDREN, bah.

      7. Excuse me you self righteous moron! I am an athiest who had a college reading level at age 7.8t has just improved from then to age 38,and I could beat you out in any academic feat on Earth.People who believe in a higher power who attempt to call anyone who does not stupid,or ignorant is showing THEIR ignorance.My other issue being that I personally hate children and babies. I always have and knew by age 13 I was never going to be a parent.Not ALL women love babies,and you are silly for believeing they do. I still hate children,have none,and live my life happy and fulfilled. People with no children have freedom,are not forced to deal with todays ignorant public school systems,other parents,and stuff like that.We can spend our income on our selves,go where we please WHEN we please. I would not trade my life of absolute freedome for a child for a billion dollars! And before you try to make a petty jab at my spelling or say I am stupid and cannot type,I just am letting you know my keypad is BROKEN,certain letters stick and cause errors.I have no spell check to fix them.I know proper grammar which is more than I can say for half of todays so called parents.

      8. Woah alana calm down! If you don’t want kids fine, but dont look down upon others who choose to have them who are good parents .They have challenges and benefits . I believe that you should not automatically be expected to to have children because you’re a woman but it’s matter of choice. I’m prochoice and prolife. I don’t see abortion as a good option for the most part. There are extremes to every side. Also, I never understood why some people hate kids. Sure they can have their challenges and once they reach a certain age, they are capable of intentionally being mean, but they are not some evil entity! Btw there are lots of good people with kids who are educated and still find time to have a life. Same goes for those who don’t have their own kids. I’m christian , educated, and I’m a young woman who loves working with children but is unsure, if she wants her own brood. I’m also an aspiring writer. So choosing to have children in your family or not is a choice. I don’t think it’s mandated in the bible to always have kids but they can be a gift from God, even if in some cases such as with adoption, they’re a gift meant for others even of it’s not meant for the biological producers. It’s ok to be passionate but people can take things too far.

      9. This is really an overreaction to me. Dont want kids? Cool. You do want kids? Cool. Everyones life takes different paths and as long as you can deal with the consequences of your decisions then do you boo!

      10. Alana, I’m glad you chose a life that fulfills you.
        I was raised by a Methodist mother and a Catholic father. My Mom convinced me that I could not have children and a career. And encouraged me to pursue a career. I succeeded in every job I had. I weighed my value as a person by my annual income.
        I am now single and do not have children. If I could have a “do-over” I would have found a great man, married him and had children. My college friends have children in high school and I really feel like I missed out on a lot.

      11. I am a Christian, I think it’s kinda stupid you and hat have to turn this into a religious fight, what does who you do or do not worship have to do with kids honestly?

      12. After 9 years in marriage with my hubby with 3 kids, my husband started going out with other ladies and showed me cold love, on several occasions he threatens to divorce me if I dare question him about his affair with other ladies, I was totally devastated and confused until a old friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet Dr. Trust who help people with the relationship and marriage problem by the powers of love spells, at first I doubted if such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, when I contact him, he helped me cast a spell and within 24hours my husband came back to me and started apologizing, now he has stopped going out with ladies and he his with me for good and for real. Contact this great spell caster for your relationship or marriage problem at ultimatespellcast@gmail.com. Goodluck or Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com …………

      13. My name is paul zerek.I do not know how to thank GREAT ZABA for bringing happiness back to my family. i do really wanna tell the whole world that there is a spell caster called Dr.Zaba that is so real and genuine. I never believed in any of these things but when i lose my wife for 4 years, i required help until i found a great spell caster, and he cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my wife back in just 48hours but i was in doubt, and after the spell has been cast, 48hours later, just as the spell caster said, my phone rang, and surprisingly it was my wife who has not called me for the past 4 years, and she made an apology for the pain she has caused me and she told me that she is ready to come back home for me. Dr.Zaba really made her to know how much i loved and needed her. And he also opened her eyes to picture how much love we have to share together. With this testimony right now i am the happiest man on earth and our love is now stronger than how it was even before. I will keep sharing this testimony all over the world. All thanks goes to Dr.Zaba for the good work that he has done for me. Here is his email address if you are having the same or similar problem contact him now because he is very powerful and he will always help you. Believe him and do all he ask you to do and never doubt him in any way.contact him for help,he is ever ready to help you. Makiaderspelltemple@hotmail.com his website http://makiaderspelltemple.webs.com

      14. my name is robin jane,me and my loved cherished ourselves for good 2years and every thing was going on smoothly but we both had misunderstanding and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and I plead to him because I love him so much but he refused me I was so down I felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back, a good job and favor in any of her endeavor. but at first I was scared but I have to give this man a try because I love my ex very much and I am not willing to loose him to any woman, so I ordered for a returning love spell from this great spell caster called Dr.Zaba that made me a happy girl again to say it all my ex lover came back to me with so much love and a caring heart. Dr.Zaba indeed you are really the best spell caster to work with.you can contact this man via email if you really need to get your problems solve Makiaderspelltemple@hotmail.com ,.

    2. If you could ever eat an entire cheesecake, I’m willing to bet that you are already fat so I think you should change your statement to “fatter” or “more fat”.

      1. Actually….I am naturally very slim…..even though yes…I could eat a whole cheesecake and more…though I would probably be sick.

      2. This is just a good example that people calling themselves Christain or spiritual are not. It makes everyone who preaches religion look like no more than hypocrites.! Anyone who is “really hristain or Catholic would NEVER sit online calling another person fat,or names.This is just one further example showing that all of you are no better or different than anyone else.You talk like judgemental,petty,mean spirited people in spite of the fact that you claim only god can judge others.I am sickened at what people try to claim,when all you really are is just like anyone else.Maybe you are even MORE petty,because I would never tease or make comments abt someones weightI am not even involved in a religion. Somehow I still seem to have a better grasp of the fact that comments like this are wrong and rude and full of stupid assumptions.Go figure. While your rude self sits around feeling self righteous.People who talk about God and faith,then try to make fun of another person,deserve anything thats coming to them and it will not be the “kingdom of Heaven and eternal life” you have to look foreward to either.

      3. You talk about stupid assumptions, and point fingers, claiming that I am a false Christian because of my words… all the meanwhile assuming that I am a Christian. If you were intelligent enough to read through the comments, you would have read that I am an atheist! You are a moron and a hypocrite. Don’t accuse me of making assumptions when you are doing just that! When you point a finger at someone, you have three more pointing at you!

      4. Not trying to cause anything, I can get along with atheists but it ticks me off for the most part when atheists condemn and slander anyone who’s happens to choose relegion. Lots of people from varying faiths can be quite cool. There are extremists who misinterpret their faith.

      5. I agree with you, however I am noticing more and more that the religious seem to be such empty shells in solace for their intense pain. Its sad.

      6. Have yet to meet anyone of faith who was “cool”. I don’t think that anyone who believes in the bible’s teaching or the Quran’s teachings is “cool”. The rape and murder of women, killing homosexuals, throwing babies off of cliffs, incest among many other things… sorry, not cool to me. And they say you can’t be a good or moral person without faith… HAHAHA! What a joke!

      7. Actually there are many christians who would never engage in behaviour and I think you misinterpreted what it means. okay yes things like rape are mentioned, but it doesn’t condone it. by the way, by looking for believing in God or spirituality, you are being a major prick.

      8. Hey, I’m glad things are find between us. You seem like a decent person and like you I don’t take well to people hurting those I love

      9. This is really pointless… insults … to no avail … and so the vicious cycle of insults feeds itself and continues… this blog was started by one bloke speaking for himself about his experience being a father and the rewards his taken from his experience… and so each to their own…

      10. His blog wasn’t “6 reasons I love being a father” it was “6 reasons everyone should have kids”. That’s why I have an issue with this and anyone who agrees. Don’t tell me how I “should” live my life. How would everyone feel if I posted a blog called “6 reasons you should have an abortion”? It wouldn’t go over very well and I doubt your opinion of “insults are useless” because people would be calling me a baby killer and other things, and I doubt you would still be saying to each their own.

      11. you two are hilarious. Two atheists sniping at each other for being bad Christians. ::headshake:: Alana, there’s that excellent reading comprehension again. You may have been reading “on a college level” since you were seven, but you never quite got the hang of comprehension did you? I do agree with you, however, that no real Christian, Catholic or not, would make such fundamentally unchristian remarks about anyone, though many false “Christians in name only” do. You seem like a decent human being, but I fail to understand how someone who seems to have a grasp on common decency could harbor hatred toward innocent human beings simply because of their size or age. I do not believe, as the original poster does, that “everyone” should have children, some are simply not cut out for it, they have no empathy, no patience, no maternal or paternal instinct whatsoever, no sense of self sacrifice that it takes to be a good parent. And that’s ok, some are called to the single life, it is, in many ways, a higher and more difficult calling than married life, as St. Paul said. As a Christian of course, it is a life of sometimes even greater sacrifice than that of parenthood, since Christians are called to chastity. But marriage has at its very roots, procreation in mind, and there is no Christian way for a married couple to avoid children without grave reasons, and if the knowledge and intent of those grave reasons is from its inception, to avoid parentage, then there is some doubt if the marriage can even be considered legitimate, much less sacramental. That being said, since you (neither of you) are neither Christian, nor Catholic, our beliefs and teachings have no affect on you, so one wonders why you get so upset at the opinion of someone who has no authority over you, expressing a personal belief that is not even held by the Church you so vilify… astounding. Oh, and while I, too, could make a credible list of accomplishments that might impress you, this is, after all, the internet, so there is no way, without giving you far more personal information than I intend, to prove any of it, so why on earth would I bother? And what possible bearing on the conversation would my childish accomplishments have? If I was reading at three, and you were reading at 7, and we are both, now, far older than that, does that somehow make me more intelligent than you? Doubtful.

      12. You do raise a lot of good points but marriage and sex weren’t just created for procreation you know.

      13. Wow… a happy atheist… sounds very happy with a bitter hint of resentment … not a religious person but aren’t you being a bit rude towards these people… if anyone sounds a little self righteous here…

      14. it can be really hurtful. as long as you’re healthy that’s what it matters. there are people who are natally skinny, naturally curvy, naturally lean and curvy, naturally plus-sized and also can be on the heavy side due to genetics while still being healthy. i’m naturally slim

      15. Are you kidding me? I’m better. I have killed pitbulls with my own bear hands. Thats all the evidence you need.

      16. I don’t really care if it’s hurtful. The world is a cruel and hurtful place when you grow up. If one person’s opinion who you don’t even know really impacts you that much then you might need therapy to fix that low self esteem. I’m not anyone of any significance to your life. Why should what I have to say hold any weight in your mind? I’m also probably thousands of miles away from you if you’re in America. So again… I’m going to say what I want. It’s up to you to brush it off or not. Either way, my conscious won’t be affected.

      17. i’m sorry but the whole stick and stones but words don’t hurt is bullshit is bullshit and i was reffering to when its a bunch of people doing this.

      18. I don’t really care if you think it’s bullshit or not. In fact, I don’t really care about or want your opinion on anything. You can continue sharing if you wish, doesn’t mean I’m going to care.

      19. I see our conservation has been edited. I frankly don’t give a damn what you think of me because you sound like a prick. At least I’m aware of how verbal abuse and emotional and mental abuse in the form of bullying wheres it constant onslaught from a bunch of people, can a lot of damage.

      20. Also, your stupidity knows no bounds. I don’t have a problem with all athesits, just the ones who are assholes (and not the loveable kind). i have problem with extremists too.

      21. I am not an extremist. I mostly keep to myself and couldn’t care less whether or not you believe in God, but I will share my opinions just like you share yours. I am not a stupid person just because you don’t like me or agree with what I have to say. I think people who follow religions are extremists. I happen to have a problem with the fact that you think I care about what you think of me and what you have to say :).

      22. i’m glad you don’t mind but please don’t look down on people who have a relegion. there are lots of nice people in a religion as there are some unkind ones. i don’t think your stupid but at the time I felt you displayed some stupidity here. i fidn it unfair if you think all religious individuals are idiots(some of the religious zealots in the deep south of the states are. in Tennessee, some of them consider hand holding to be a gate way sexual activity). sorry if flew off the handle,and I hope we can move past this.

      23. I don’t look necessarily look down on ALL people who are religious, mainly just the ones who think that their values should govern everyone’s lives despite their stance on religion or lack of a stance. I will admit I am a bit of a pessimist and that might be why I come across as a bit harsh, but all in all I hold no ill will towards anyone… unless you harm me or someone I love. So as far as I’m concerned, we’re cool.

      24. one of my best friends is a secular jew( but a agnostic leaning towards atheism). he’s a great guy and we get along well

      25. Religion has a way of imprinting itself on the mind. Even a lot of secular jews still support male genital mutilation.

      26. Wow little knives, by the tone in your comments it sounds like you’ve been emotionally abused or neglected as a child. You aoud like that typcal old bitter woman down the street- i sort of picture you looking like the witch from the wizard of oz. just saying, that is what you sound like- bitter.

      27. I have been mistreated by people of faith, not my parents so yes, you are right. I hate organized religion

      28. Actually, I had a fairly normal childhood. I just have grown to hate people, especially children. They are rude and obnoxious and selfish and people let them get away with it. I might be mean but at least I keep to myself. By your tone, I kind of imagine you looking like Rosanne… a big annoying b*tch. Not sure how wicked witch necessarily equates with bitterness? Anyway, get plugged.

      29. I think it’s always appropriate to share how you really feel. Fuck the politically correct bullshit. Fuck being polite for the sake of politely lying to make yourself seem decent. It’s all bullshit.

      30. The bible: Throwing babies off of cliffs is a-okay, force your daughter to marry her rapist and she can NEVER leave him, Slavery, Torture, Cannibalism, incest, death for wearing mixed fabrics/eating shellfish/cutting your hair, going to Hell for having your testicles cut off (as if having your balls cut off isn’t bad enough)… God flooded the world and killed MILLIONS of people, rained fire down onto cities.. but remember… God loves you!

      31. for the love of…, the bible does mention them but it does not mean it condones it. (in fact the new testament does not even mention that) and things like shaving and cutting your hair and shellfish are in the old testament and not the new testament so many christians will tell you that the only laws that made it in the new testament apply.

      32. So if only the things in The New Testament apply, then why listen to the 10 commandments? Why pick and choose only the things that sound nice to follow?

      33. Those are some warped interpretations.
        I guess if a man cuts off his testicles in attempt to become a woman; that would not be condoned.
        There were a lot of corrupt things happening in the old testament (similar to what is happening in many parts of the world now).
        The flood was a solution to renew the earth and rid it of sinners. I think mankind was fortunate to be allowed a second chance.

      34. All of those things, according to your book, happened at the commandment of your God. Moses led a group of men into a city, killing all of the men, little boys, and women, leaving only the young virgin female children so they they may rape them…all on God’s command. This is the God you worship. Don’t claim it’s just old testament, because you accept the 10 commandments which are in the old testament. So what, does God have multiple personality disorder? The bible says God is unchanging, he is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow…so the God you worship today, is the God who commanded Moses and his men to do those horrible things. And people say Athiests are evil! Your God commands murder, and in the old testament required blood sacrifices…Your God is just as evil as Satan. Lot offered his virgin daughters to an angry mob of sexually violent men to save the two angels…all the command of your God.

    3. After 9 years in marriage with my hubby with 3 kids, my husband started going out with other ladies and showed me cold love, on several occasions he threatens to divorce me if I dare question him about his affair with other ladies, I was totally devastated and confused until a old friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet Dr. Trust who help people with the relationship and marriage problem by the powers of love spells, at first I doubted if such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, when I contact him, he helped me cast a spell and within 24hours my husband came back to me and started apologizing, now he has stopped going out with ladies and he his with me for good and for real. Contact this great spell caster for your relationship or marriage problem at ultimatespellcast@gmail.com. Goodluck or Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com

    4. Hi everyone act there.. my name is MULLAR SHARRON I AM FROM GERMANY i will never forget the help DR.TRUST render to me in my marital life. i have been married for 5 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was searching for help in the internet, i saw many people sharing testimony on how dr.trust help them out with their marital problems so i contacted the email of dr.trust i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place were i can get back my husband within the next 24hours.he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that they will restored my marriage. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him,that he will never cheat on me again. i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not too hard why don’t you give Dr.trust a try they work surprises because i know they will help you to fix your relationship with your ex partner. i thank god for using dr.trust to save my marriage. contact him via (ULTIMATESPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM OR ULTIMATESPELLCAST@YAHOO.COM) tel +2348156885231
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    5. My name is maria johan from Malaysia. My boyfriend left me a month ago and he was leaving with another woman who is 10 years older than him,i feel like my life is completely over. I read over the internet how a spell caster have help several people to get there love back. I have been depress for the past one month and what i need is to get him back and live with him happily. so i decided to give it a try so i contacted the spell caster called Dr.Trust and explain my problems to him and he cast a love spell which i use to get my boyfriend back and now my life is complete and both of us are very happy with the relationship. and i am throughly grateful to this man,his contact email is ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com Thank you very much and i am extremely greatful Tel: +2348156885231.And there is know evil attach to his spell.it will only make your relationship very stronger.

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  2. Pingback: 6 Reasons Why Everyone Should Have Kids - CATHOLIC FEAST - Every day is a Celebration

  3. Pingback: 6 Reasons Why Everyone Should Have Kids | TJ Burdick

  4. There are a couple of guys at who are very active in our parish who never had kids. Never even got married. Yet for some reason everybody calls them “father”.

    So no, I don’t think having kids is for everybody.

    1. James,

      Before it was published, I had actually thought of altering the title to this piece to read “6 Reasons Why Everyone Except Priests Should Have Children”, but I didn’t for two reasons:

      Number one, you are 100% correct. We call our priests “father” because his vocation is to lead God’s children home to heaven. He is, indeed, the caretaker of a complete parish and, save reasons 2 and 3, a priest could even benefit from this post!

      Number two, I can think of three priests off-hand, two that I know personally, who have adopted children and/or conceived their own when they were Anglican priests and their ministry has not suffered from it. On the contrary, it is very noticeable that having been a “father” in the physical sense has helped them become a better “father” in the religious sense.

      But, I recognize your point in that not everyone is called to have children. That’s biblical. However, this piece was designed to show the brighter side of parenthood against the backdrop of a world that is loosing its moral compass as the Time Magazine article I referred to insinuates.

      In retrospect, perhaps I should have titled this post “Why Every Married Couple (and maybe even a priest or two) Should Have Children.”

      1. The reason why I mention this is because I have read several articles by young single women who have become very defensive about these articles because they have no desire to have children. They like children, they just don’t want to have children of their own. There are a lot of social expectations for all women to want children, but biblically, this isn’t the case.

        Not everyone is called to marriage and not every one is called to having children. Some people may even be called to marriage later in life, after their fertile years are over. While women can’t be Catholic priests, they can take up religious life. The world could definitely use more women religious, but this isn’t pushed or even presented, like the priesthood is. Historically, women’s religious ran orphanages and schools and did spend a lot of time taking care of children. This is an important role to be filled that isn’t.

        But children are an important of marriage. Without children, the couple becomes too inwardly focused, to the detriment of each of them. “Why Every Married Couple Should Have Children” would probably be a better title for the article. Having children isn’t just something you do, but is the primary purpose of the vocation of marriage.

      2. I try to replace “women” with “men” in one of the sentence above; and this is what I got:

        ..I wonder if there are many articles by young single MEN ( instead of women)….. who have no desire to have children……
        If this is true for some women that they have no desire to have children, then, it must be true for men, too… it takes two to make a child….
        I do not mean to be malicious….

      3. By no means are you rude, jenny. On the contrary, you are so very correct. Both genders seem to be avoiding their procreation all dispositions, at least that is what I come out with after reading Time’s article.

      4. yes, and their lives seem so much fuller, richer, and happier, dont they? Oh wait…chasing after hollow
        “achievements”, money, and more crap… lives so empty that grown adults act like children daring eachother to eat worms to entertain other grown adults with no lives (survivor) Children are the only real legacy we have, everything else is vapor. And isnt it curious that the secular world seems to spend most of its time seeking out something missing from their lives and most often looks for it in the bedroom… the very place where children are made, and the process through which they are made, perhaps the reason so many find their sexual relationships less than ideal is because they are cutting out (usually) two out of the main three reasons for sex. Unitive (bringing a married couple closer together) and procreative. All thats left is generative, which, while it can create a loving feeling, is not actually love unless it STARTS with love.

      5. What makes you think all ‘non-believers’ are ‘chasing after hollow “achievements”, money, and more crap’?

        Believe whatever you want about sex. This article was called ‘6 Reasons Why Everyone Should Have Kids’.

        If having children is so ennobling, why is Africa full of rape, crime, genocide, Aids, and military dictatorships? If religion makes marriage deeper and more meaningful, why are divorce rates higher amongst religious people across multiple countries?

        Let me just state in advance I am prepared for you to not answer this question as it seems no one here can address any of the most important points I make.

      6. I love my husband, and we make love all the time, more often than people who have children, and we hate children, and have a happy fulfilling life! Your argument is bunk!

      7. You’ve made an intensive study on the sexual habits of people with children have you? LOL. I honestly have doubts about the possibility of anyone having, making, or even recognizing love who harbors hatred in their hearts, you haven’t convinced me otherwise. Not wanting children is fine and understandable, I don’t even actually agree with the writer of this article who claims “everyone” should have children, but actively hating an entire class of people simple because of their age and or size is… mind boggling. I don’t hate anyone, not even those I consider my enemies, because that would lessen ME, not them.

      8. Well every “family” I know who is around our age (early 20s-mid 30s) tells me that their sex life is virtually non existent when the subject comes up. More husbands have cheated on their wives once they have children, than the families I have known who have no children… because once you have kids, you are too busy or tired to have sex with, and actually pay attention to your partner.

        Your child becomes the center of your universe. Which is totally okay. In fact, if you have children they SHOULD be the center of your universe… but that’s why I DON’T want kids. I love my husband so much that I would rather devote my spare time to being with HIM! Children can make your spouse feel ignored.

        I guess you’re right. “Hate” is not really the right word. If a child were being hit or abused I would step in to help them so I guess that I don’t HATE them. However, would I ever have a child in my house? No. Would I ever babysit for friends or relatives? No. Do I ask to hold peoples babies, or do I talk to small children? No. It’s not because of their age or size. It’s because they’re disgusting and filthy, make tons of unnecessary noise, have no control of their behavior and emotions, are totally selfish and demanding and rude and obnoxious. If I saw an adult acting like a 3 year old, I would have disgust and contempt in me for them as well. So hey, I don’t discriminate! 🙂

      9. In many families, their spouses and children are major facets of their universe and couples can find wAys to have a good sex and romantic life and a social life while still being good parents.

      10. Michelle Ziegenhagen

        While this is true, that also doesn’t mean that people who do not want kids do not have the ability to have fulfilled lives.

      11. While that is true, many many studies have been done and proven that married couples with kids are far more stressed and less happy than married couples who don’t have children. Look it up, it’s everywhere. Trust me, if you saw me and my husband at a restaurant, and at another table in the same restaurant a family with a couple of small kids, you would see the difference in stress levels. I would NEVER burden myself with the stress and frustration and sex-life killing creature that is known as a baby/child.

      12. Michelle Ziegenhagen

        The only people HATING here are the self-righteous people saying that everybody needs children and the ones who refuse are “childish”—note your last post, Marie. “yes, and their lives seem so much fuller, richer, and happier, dont they? Oh wait…chasing after hollow “achievements”, money, and more crap… lives so empty that grown adults act like children daring eachother to eat worms to entertain other grown adults with no lives”

        Yes, because all of us who do not want children are childish and have no lives and run after unfulfilling “achievements” and have unfulfilling sex lives because we don’t know the true purpose or meaning of it.
        You’re the only one hating.

      13. She doesn’t mean she wants to hurt children, she just means she strongly dislikes them and doesn’t want them around her.

        I don’t know what comes first, the emotional shallowness or the religion.

      14. Michelle Ziegenhagen

        We are not AVOIDING anything. It has nothing to do with avoiding the procreating dispositions. Some people realize while we have a disposition to make babies, not everybody has the disposition to CARE FOR THEM AND MAKE A GOOD HOME FOR THEM. Would you like babies to be made, just to be made–even if the mother or father really doesn’t want to be mother and father? You are quite naive and ignorant.

        And one more thing…. to the guest who posted (and thank you, made wonderful points)…
        Priests should be able to have children. The only reason they are not allowed to marry or have children dates back to the Church of England, and it being outlawed because priests were willing their parish to their families and the land was not given back to the Church of England–something the government was not happy about. So they outlawed priests having children. This rule should be abolished as it actually has no religious significance.

      15. actually, I believe the societal expectations have now gone entirely the other direction. I was under enormous pressure to have a “career” when I was growing up and when I was a young adult. The idea that I was happy, settling down to one man, and a life as a wife and mother was looked at as ludicrous, simply because I was of above average intelligence and had my choice of colleges clamoring at my door. And now, for some strange reason, because I did make that choice, people treat me as if I’m less intelligent than some teeny bopper who spent their entire time at college drinking and screwing. Hm. Yes, I can see how spending a few hours a day in a classroom with a bored tenured professor who doesn’t even know your name, much less your learning style or academic needs would make some young person far more intelligent than I, a mere wife and mother, who spends hours a day actively seeking out knowledge and information on every subject that interests me, and many more that interest my children as I home educate them. I’m obviously lacking in some fundamental, alcohol delivered life experience. LOL.

      16. Marie, funny thing for me it was (and still is) quite the opposite. Girls were already dreaming up their man, their wedding and life with kids while it was the furthest thing from my mind.

        As I grew older, I got more and more anxious. I still didn’t have that desire to have kids. I even remember thinking “How can I convince myself to want kids?” or “What am I going to do?”

        I always believed that everyone got married and had kids and that not having kids wasn’t an option.

        Another 10 years later, I was thinking it would just happen and I would know when I would be ready to have kids.

        A few years after that, I had come to accept that it was OK not to want kids.

        At this stage in my life, I feel comfortable with my choice.
        I still get bombared with the “so… when are you going to have kids?” question.
        I know now that it is a personal life choice and I don’t see why I should justify my decision.

      17. When someone asks me when am I going to have children, I tell them I will after I have slammed a 747 into a building in the name of the One True and Only GOD.

      18. I refuse to believe in a future without hope. Such a world is as dismal and unattractive as you have described it. Granted, I’m not blind to the reality that the inequality, poverty and animosity that you mentioned does indeed rip one’s soul apart. In fact, I do not know your experiences, nor how difficult your life has been, but what I do know is that your life does have a bright side, one painted by your actions towards your loved ones (and your enemies) and protected by the promise of eternal life. These acts, however tiny, do create a more peaceful world. People like Martin Luther King Jr., Mother Teresa, and Ghandi have proven this by their sacrificial lives. As for me, I decided to follow their lead and have found immense peace in sacrificing my time to love my wife and children in the same way they loved the people they fought for- with every ounce of their being. If you desire peace in the broken world you described, I’d recommend that you do something about it instead of attempting to ridicule your fellow teammates in this game of life. You can count on me to be on your side to help with whatever means I am able.

      19. I am not against you believing in god. Believe whatever you wish. I take issue with you using your beliefs to promote superfluous procreation. It would be one thing if you thought humans were not reproducing enough, however your arguments simply boil down to ‘God said so’. There are enough people and there is enough misery on earth.

        I know my impact on this world is negligible to nonexistent. I serve myself first and incur no obligations other than those I have agreed to. If I can have a greater impact then great, but it is not my goal. If everyone just went their own way and stop believing in anything the world would be a lot better.

        To be honest, I don’t want eternal life. I didn’t even want life but here I am. I look forward to death provided it is quick and painless. I have come to discover there is more to life than people and that I am happiest when I am alone. Even my own thoughts tire and scare me. I hope death is a place of nothingness.

        This world has little to offer to itself because it still needs to ‘believe’. It seems that no matter how miserable people are there are always primitive women out there that need to just pop infants out so that they can get men to do things for them. People need the lie that they are more than animals so that they can get on with their miserable lives while convincing everyone else that they are ‘happy’ and ‘successful’.

        At this point I almost think nuclear war or some sort of disaster is the only way to fix any of the problems of civilization. It is too corrupt to be reformed and would need to be rebuilt from the bottom up. Whatever happens happens. We will at some point go the way of the dinosaurs, and the world will go on.

      20. hat, I think you might be my new best friend. I find it fairly humorous that we both think of each other’s views as illogical. For that reason, I am keenly interested in your outlook on this particular subject I blogged about above. I know you enjoy being alone and while I want to respect your privacy, I was hoping you wouldn’t mind me sending you a proof of my next piece “6 More Reasons Why Everyone Should Have Kids” that I plan on publishing here at IT in a few weeks. I want to get your initial reactions to it. If you are interested, please send me an e-mail through my contact page at my site, tjburdick.com . If not, I completely understand.

      21. I don’t think your views on having children are illogical. They are an inevitable outcome of your ideology.

        I apologize for some of my harsh comments. Really, please believe whatever makes you happy. Your worldview is your own to arrive at, but for the mercy of anything worthwhile or non tortuous in this world, please do not preach that having children is a good thing. You are only going to encourage the ignorant chimpanzees to pump and dump more shitters that will only be abused and neglected. Children have no say in who their parents are or where they are born.

        Realize that ultimately you are not going to turn the tide. Mechanization and feminism have destroyed the family unit. Religion will not bring it back. The only people you can convince to reproduce more are going to be the bottom of the barrel. If you want to bring back the nuclear family you are barking up the wrong tree.

      22. No need to apologize. I respect your opinion and I’m happy to have been persuaded to think outside of the norm with your comments. You realize now that I will be expecting you to comment on every single post I publish here at IT from this moment on, right? 🙂

      23. I wouldn’t mind reading your 6 other reasons for why people should have kids, the only problem is that you have not addressed any of the points I have made, so it seems the ball is still in your court.

        The most important thing you have not addressed is your concept of love. This is central to your argument concerning why people should have children. I strongly disagree that having children is an enlightening and ennobling process. Personally, I think having children should be a produce of love, not a means to it.

      24. I agree with you there, wholeheartedly. Give me a week or two to pencil it out. Would you mind sending me a quick email so I can have you preproof it or would you prefer to be surprized when it goes public?

      25. I will start it off with how I define love and you can critique it and then go into depth with your own ideas.

        To be honest I can’t define love. Nobody can. Love is nothing more than attachment. Of course you can be attached to a lot of things non human, including the abstract.

        I will say that for love to exist between two human being requires trust, honesty, respect, and reciprocity. How one defines those four components will differ from individual to individual.

        I will also say that if those four components do not exist between two people they have no business bringing life into this world. Children are work. There is no way around that. They will not fill any void that you have.

        There is absolutely no shame in not having children. People say that you are ‘never ready for children’. I disagree. Although you can never be prepared to have children, don’t have them until you have sorted out your own personal shit and do not think having children will make you a better or happier person. The relationship between and man and a woman does not have to be about sacrifice or even commitment. Children on the other hand, are inherently a sacrifice and commitment.

      26. Come on, I know you are a father, but it can’t take you that long to respond. You should have some sort of rough answer of the top of your head, after all you study this stuff.

      27. My apologies, hat, I forgot to mention I’m a teacher as well. Lots of needy kids. But here’s a fairly surface-level answer I can give before I go into more depth in my next blogpost scheduled for next Sat. I disagree with your comment that love cannot be defined. I agree with you in that it could be “unexplainable”, but not undefinable. To say that would encourage a misconstrued ideology that truth is somehow subjective, that whatever is true for you could mean something completely different to another. Truth is objective and therefore all things, whether they are unexplainable or not by human standards, can be defined. Thus, love, being in the realm of the “unexplainable” as you mentioned, certainly does have an aura of a truly beautiful mystery. Thus, we must look elsewhere besides the scientific lens that we humans are bent on using to understand truth. The illogical requires a philosophical (or in my case, spiritual) explanation because science is unable to provide proof. Here’s where I depart from your stance. In fact, here’s where I take it to the opposite extreme. Love is not attachment, it is detachment. When one truly loves another, they sacrifice their time, their energy, their very freedom to ensure that their beloved is appeased. If not, then they are not truly in love, they are merely using the other for their personal benefit. Hence, the reason why the divorce rate continues to climb? People have lost chivalry, obedience and self control to the point that they see such nobel virtues as meaningless, void of worth in comparison to their own personal happiness. This is also the reason why the rate of depression and anxiety rises. For true love cares not about its own desires, it cares only for the safety and delight of the beloved.

      28. ‘For true love cares not about its own desires, it cares only for the safety and delight of the beloved.’

        So what makes you love one particular person?

      29. Love is for everyone. In fact, we are to offer ourselves even for our enemies if we find them in need. Loving one particular person takes on different shades for the layman. I love my wife and am therefore concerned of the worldly necessities that are needed to flourish in a joyful state. Her love is joined together with mind and multiplied to cover the necessities of our children. This love can then be shared to the greater community. To a certain extent, I am currently extending a degree of love to you at this moment by dedicating a few minutes to share in this combox conversation. Granted, it is a small gesture, but at almost midnight on Friday night after a tiring week, it certainly is a sacrifice. But one I am very willing to give as your comments are quite appreciated.

      30. To add to that, I’d reiterate the fact that true love desires the best for the other by means of self sacrifice. Therefore, if heaven exists (and even if it doesn’t) I am content living in humble servitude so that my wife, my family and our community can benefit from my actions.

      31. I understand, but at the end of the day YOU had to decide which person was best suited to your values. There are many christians out there. Something had to make your wife stand out.

      32. Correct. That is attraction. But attraction is only a small part of love. It is the surface of it, not the depth. Correct me if I am wrong, but when you say that love is attachment, you mean that love is merely a prolonged sense of attraction? If so, then I believe you would agree that this definition is shared by the many divorced couples who depend heavily on their own selfishness of “attachment” leaching onto anyone that can anyone who can assist them in achieving their own personal desires. However, my argument is that love has a more profound meaning. I believe I have already solidified my definition that true love goes beyond attraction. Like gold tested in fire, it is molded into perfection through constant sacrifice and service toward one another.

      33. its not an assessment, it simply IS. This is something that is very difficult to explain to someone who has never experienced it. My husband and I have been together for almost 21 years, both of us had experienced what we thought was “love” before, but both of us realized almost from the moment we met that this was different… you will have a hard time with my explanation for this because you do not believe in God, but *I* believe that that “knowledge” of truly loving is something God gives us when we have found the one He means for us to spend our lives with. This is a different type of love than the love we mean when we describe loving our neighbors or even our enemies, that love is an act of will (english is a pain when it comes to describing love, only one word for it.. in Greek we have three, Eros, Filial, and Agape, the first applies to romantic love, which is what we are talking about here, the second is the act of will, the love of brother, neighbor, and even enemy, and the third is the love of God). It is an action, something you do, not something you necessarily feel, not an emotion. Which is why a Christian can be honest and say YES when someone asks “well would you love an ax murderer?” we love the person as a soul created by God, while hating sin. But back to Eros… it is that simple… you just KNOW, and you will know mainly by experiencing what it isnt first, and by knowing that love is not selfish, it is not grasping, it is all giving, all sacrificing. If all you can think about is what your significant other can do for you, its not love.. if all you can think about is what you can do for your significant other, and that in itself makes you happy, then it likely is. God bless you.

      34. I am not saying there are people that are not worth sacrificing your life for. But there has to be a reason why you think they are so valuable. Whether you like it or not, EVERYONE has some sort of internal value system outside of the ideologies they ascribe to. SOMETHING INSIDE YOU brought you to Catholicism. Something different from the things that brought other people to your same church.

      35. I agree with you on not having kids..Why bring them here to die after being used up in this socioty..About love…Love is when you would do anything for a person. You don’t debate with yourself as to why…There is a link…and everything else pales in comparison..About life..Maybe death is an illusion to make the stakes higher in this screwed up game of life..when it’s all over, everyone may have never died or may never die..Then we all meet again bored because death isn’t real…so we start another cruel game of life..

      36. unfortunately this is something that cannot be described by logic, because it is too simple, and too complex. It is Faith. God is the “something inside me” that brought me to Catholicism, and I believe that He is the SAME “something” that brought everyone else to my same Church. To any Church, really, because I believe not everyone hears or understands, fully, what God is trying to lead them to, and many take wrong turns, either temporarily or, through stubbornness, permanently, and end up somewhere that either has Truth with errors, Error with a bit of truth, or simply arrive at error, full stop. Free will is a gift that is also a double edged sword. God will not force anyone to hear Him, who is not disposed to listen. And I agree that everyone has an internal value system, but again, I know that it is the Law written on mens hearts by God, though, again, some read that law wrong, either through simple ignorance, or stubborn clinging to what they WANT to believe, which is usually either what is easiest, or what will get them what they desire, neither of which is likely to lead them down the right path. Usually it ultimately leads to their own self destruction.

      37. wow… please, please get help. You have all the signs of a major clinical depression. If you keep on along this line of thinking you will likely either kill yourself, or go on a killing spree and kill a lot of other people before killing yourself. Im being completely honest here, not trying to be cute or clever or suggesting you harm yourself or others i truly and deeply want you to get help. ::hugs::

      38. I have a hard time believing that if you were forced to have sex with you father by Japanese soldiers at bayonet point, only then to watch them hang him by meat hooks and set him on fire and rape you(platoon of 30+) and make you infertile(research the Rape of Nanking), you would want to continue living.

        Please do not think I write this for shock value. I research this sick stuff to understand the world we live in. I don’t revel in it. I despise it, but I know my mind is my most powerful weapon. Who knows what I would have done if I had been one of those Japanese soldiers. I may have stabbed babies for fear of my own life. Maybe there will be a nuclear war in 10 years and in 100 years we will go back to burning witches.

        We live in a cruel world of fickle fate that exists as it does because of ignorance. If you are not disturbed/depressed/enraged you are not really paying attention. I will never bring children into this world.

        I know I am depressing and I appreciate your compassion. Understanding this world has been the only thing keeping me from taking my own life. Justin Beiber and Bud Lite just don’t cut it for me.

      39. BTW if by ‘getting help’ you mean consult a therapist, you are wasting your time. Psychology is designed to manage people within the confines of the status quo. Largely it is a scam.

        Philosophy is the only thing of solace to me.

      40. What kind of philosophy? Any kind of critical thinking. I don’t follow anyone.

        Atheism and philosophy are two different things. One didn’t lead to the other.

        Atheism is not an ideology.

      41. Hi Hat,
        I meant is there a specific branch that you are more interested in (ethics, epistemology, logic).

        You are right atheism is not an idealogy. Each atheist has their own opition and although I agree with you that philosophy and atheism are two different things,
        one often leads to the other.

        For example when you start to critically think, you start to unlearn everything you were taught.

        Is it the questioning of God that lead you to philosophy or is it philosophy that led you to question God?

  5. Nice article, TJ. My wife and I often complain about having had two kids. We’re both kind of selfish I guess. I’d add a number 7 that kids make you grow up. I finally feel like an adult after attaining 35 years of age. My friends without kids are still “finding themselves” and their worries completely revolve around themselves. I think without kids — or without some kind of real dedication to serving others — we’ll struggle to really grow up.

    1. We’ll put Joseph. I too am constantly maturing by raising my children (my wife has a lot to do with that 🙂

      1. oh its all sunshine and rainbows isnt it. what do you live in a utopia secluded island somewhere with a population of 14 and you grow your own food. have your own house and do no labor to the elite ? you just live in harmony free from evil people and famine dont you. what about when the kid gets old and is in pain till he dies because his back hurts and is using a walker. i dont even think thats a possibility considering where this country will be at in just ten years. your kid has no future pal and even if there was great job at contributing to the possibility he just may be car jacked at a red light in march of 2023 by some drug addict meth head.

      2. There are 8 billion people. The world doesn’t need another mouth to feed that seeks reassurance from religious ideologues.

      3. again, check your math, for someone who doesn’t want children you seem determined to add 800,000,000 people to the world in an instant 😉

      4. Or he could be the next Ted Bundy or Adolf Hitler… There’s a 50/50 chance, despite how hard you try, or how much of a great parent you believe yourself to be. Do you feel comfortable with the risk? Apparently so…

      5. really? A 50/50 chance? Statisticly (sp? never could spell that word, hah) there are hundreds of millions of good decent people for every Ted Bundy or Adolf Hitler, I’d say the odds are in our favor. Especially since behind nearly every sociopath there is an abusive parent, so I would say if we don’t abuse our children, we have a very good chance of raising good and decent adults.

      6. Actually, according to research, there are roughly (an estimated) 3 million psychopaths and about every 4 out of 10 people are sociopaths. There are tons of papers written about it if you only take the time to look it up. Even so, perfectly normal people harm animals and other people everyday.

        People are also cruel to each other every single day and are self serving. Which is fine really, that part doesn’t bother me as much as possibly giving birth to a sadist. Is there really such a thing as a “good person” anymore? Back in the day being a good person meant serving your community, going out of your way to help others, and being honest. These days, being a good person means just following the laws and motions of life. Pathetic.

        Sociopath does not equal serial killer. You need to get that straight. There is a HUGE number of sociopaths in North America and only a small percentage of them being serial killers. Don’t forget that a lot of people who murder other people are also perfectly normal. Most kill people for selfish reasons like money or love.

        Either way, even if I WOULD have a perfectly normal, physically/mentally/emotionally healthy child, I would STILL never have one. Go watch a birthing video on youtube and a video on the negative aspects of parenting and pregnancy and then try to convince me I should do it. Love is not worth it. I already have love all around me. I am not a glutton for love and attention I have all I need.

    2. ‘My friends without kids are ‘still finding themselves’ and their worries completely revolve around themselves.’ Its called personal growth.

      Do you have any sons?

    3. I work in social services….and have since I was 19. I work with very vulnerable, persistently mentally ill adults. I do not have kids. I will never have them, at least not biologically. I spoil the heck out of my cousins and nephews….and I’d die for them. However, my vocation means I am an adult and I don’t get to spend my day “finding myself”… but I also don’t have kids because I’ve seen/known/cared for way to many screwed up adults who were unloved kids.

      1. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS.

        Damn it, you can love ANYONE and EVERYONE without reproducing. LOVE should come FIRST and it shouldn’t be an OBLIGATION.

  6. There is something innately fulfilling that happens to everyone I see, my wife and included, in the years immediately following ones first child. One becomes an adult. You realize you are responsible for supporting a household, saving and preparing, providing. And perhaps most important, one realizes that what you do matters. What you say matters. How you behave matters. It is never made more clear and nothing will be as humbling as realizing you are shaping a persons or multiple persons world view, emotions, attitudes, etc.
    people think they understand all these things pre-kids, but its the same way I understand what giving birth feels like. No matter how many times I see it…I don’t.

      1. but the idea that nothing matters is a lie. You are lying to yourself, and that is at the heart of your depression. Who could NOT be depressed, believing that nothing they do matters? What you do, what you say, who you are ABSOLUTELY Matters, whether you have kids or not! You have an affect on the world around you. You matter, your voice is heard, and you make a difference, your choice lies in whether it is a good difference, or a bad one. You matter to me. You matter to God. Surely you believe in one of us 😉

      2. Actually not caring about anything including my own existence is very therapeutic. I believe in nothing. I just want to have a good death.

        I might be disgusted but I am beyond depression. I accept the world now as it is and I study it as meticulously as possible.

        Men need to stop caring and being disposable. We meed to stop taking on responsibility. There are no causes worth fighting and dying for. In this day and age women can be the primary bread winners. Technology has rendered the protection and provision historically provided by men to become irrelevant.

      3. I agree on this one! I feel happy since I have let go all of my expectations and the need to control my life and the need to live a life “as it should be” according to who??? It’s all a big illusion. People think they are or will be happy because of this and that (things or people). Nowadays it’s all: attachments, expectations, need, justification, self-pity, egoism, I need to…, I have to…otherwise…otherwise what? NO NO NO! Happiness is within you. I have found it and nobody can take it away from me 🙂 I wish everyone could, than we could evolve into something more….something more than this dumb, primitive look of life and our existence. Look up the sky, see the full picture, feel the universe, you are not important, we are not important, your kid is not important, someone having a kid is not important, humanity?? Oh come on, we are half way between the animal and something greater than the human. Don’t judge anyone! If someone wishes to stay ignorant so be it, after all ignorance is a bliss 🙂 but not for me…..

  7. Interesting: should people who don’t have the income to feed children have them anyway and have the taxpayer pick up the tab?

    1. Yes that’s it exactly. Poor people should try to have as many kids as possible and then get on the government dole. I mean, big bro has the money, right? Then they can qualify for all sorts of government handouts that can “help” them raise their kids. No wait, I take it all back… Poor people shouldn’t be able to breed because they’re a drain on society and its scant resources. People who earn less than a certain amount established by the government should be forced to undergo sterilization procedures. I mean, we can’t further the species through the rabble, the riffraff, and the sponges, right?

    2. I know a good amount of people who, because they had kids early in life, had to learn how to provide for them too. I’m not saying that every person does this, many do use government money as a crutch. However, if we are to understand Catholic social teaching for what it’s worth, we at least have the moral obligation to help them get back on their feet financially so that they can build up some sort of momentum to provide, survive, even flourish. Think about Jesus’ healings, He always gave them just enough to get by. It was when they began to follow Him that they received even more.

      1. How about making enough money to provide for yourself so you can be happy, and then just leaving everyone else alone.

      2. Not everyone is a Catholic though! Man, your logic is so subjective and one sided.., you really shouldn’t be a teacher if you think this way.

  8. all of these benefits you list above is for “YOU”. The question really is why should a baby be brought into this world? whats in there for him/her ?

    1. sowmya, THAT is the most important point and I am ashamed for not having put it in as point #7- Their eternal salvation! That’s what in it for them and for us if we commit our lives to raising them well.

      1. Believing in a system where there is *conditional* eternal salvation is actually good reason to not have children. What you are forgetting is that there is eternal judgment. There is the possibility that the person one brings into this world will reject eternal salvation. Hence, one has to options:

        1) Not procreate, ever. Sure, you won’t ever bring someone who may experience eternal salvation, but it doesn’t matter. People who don’t exist can’t be deprived of anything.
        2) Procreate. There is the chance that person will not be eternally saved. In fact, there is a chance that person’s life will consist of nothing but suffering. No matter what you say, you are in some measure morally responsible for that person not having been said.

        The point is that there is a fundamental asymmetry here, as nonexistent people cannot be “deprived” of things, even the good things, because they do not exist.

      2. We must also recognize that the procreative act has its foundation in the Root of love between man and woman, protected by the graces received in the Sacrament of Marriage. At least that is God’s original plan. When.the two sacrifice themselves in the act of love, they share in the Father’s creation by becoming vessels for the created. So when love overflows in new life, the graces given to the properly sacramentalized family protect them as long as mother and father are willing to receive those graces. Even if.they should precede their children in death, the spiritual strength if such a family should not be underestimated.

      3. “the spiritual strength if such a family should not be underestimated”

        That doesn’t matter, nor does it matter if we *over*estimate the spiritual strength of such a family. The point is that one can never be certain. The point is that when a couple procreates, they are not gambling with their own salvation, but with someone else’s.

      4. Perhaps, but if we choose not to have kids and are perfectly able to raise them, we go against God’s natural law by refusing to follow His command to be fruitful and multiply. The effects of a society that sees chikdren as a burden instead of a blessing undermines the foundatiinal frameworks of society, namely the family.

      5. God commands we all procreate, but procreation when there is *conditional* salvation is not morally justified. Therefore, God is wrong.

        “The effects of a society that sees chikdren as a burden instead of a blessing”

        Children are not a blessings, they are *responsibilities*; parents have a moral debt to their children. But again, you are arguing all the good that will come to us if we had children, without reference to the fact that it is gambling with someone else’s salvation, not your own.

      6. By “conditional” salvation, I mean salvation is not automatic and universal. As far as I can tell, salvation depends highly on some combination of what one does or believes. In other words, it would be different if everyone was saved (reaching the Kingdom of God) no matter what they did or believed in. Such a notion has very weak Biblical support.

        Note, the same argument applies to God. Why did he create a universe such that there would necessarily be people who would not be saved? Better to have never created anything at all.

      7. Thank you. That helps. I’d actually agree with you on your first point, but I respectfully disagree with your application of the argument to a “non-benevolent” God. Such a claim would have, as you put it, “very weak Biblical support”.

      8. So if its not in the bible it doesn’t exist, but if it is in the bible and you don’t like it, you ignore it. I am not surprised.

      9. salvation is only “conditional” in that it is not FORCED upon anyone. Salvation is possible for anyone who chooses it. No one goes to Hell that doesn’t choose to be there. As many times as we fall, He is there to pick us up again, we merely have to choose to take His hand each time. It is the nature of free will.

      10. “Salvation is possible for anyone who chooses it.”

        This however is exactly what I mean when I say salvation is “conditional.” Namely, that it is not forced upon us, and that we must each do something at minimum to merit salvation.

        However, it is exactly the fact that salvation is not forced which makes having children problematic. When you plan to have a child, you cannot guarantee that they will do whatever is required to gain salvation (as you put it, they may possibly choose Hell). The way to ensure you never create a person who may end up choosing Hell is, well, to not create them in the first place.

      11. If nothing happens that is against God’s plan, and he is all powerful, then isn’t he deciding to send us to Hell? He could just as easily NOT send us there… He is obviously very insecure and jealous and petty. Would you send your child to the basement and torture them forever if they didn’t love you? So why would God do that to His children? Doesn’t sound too loving to me! In case you haven’t noticed, he has very human-like characteristics and faults!

      12. There are enough breeders out there to make up for the people who don’t want to have kids. Read a book. Think.

      13. Encouraging people to have children will not bring back the nuclear family. You are putting the cart before the horse.

      14. Its not going to work. Marriage is declining. There are more divorces now in this country than marriages. You need some other incentive or at least driving force behind marriage.

      15. Again, perhaps you’re right. But would you agree with me in that one of the best forces to change the world for good would be to solidify the nuclear family through stable marriages?

      16. I don’t want to sound like an interrogator but you are not addressing any of the points I make. You are just reciting dogma over and over again.

      17. I would agree that they ARE destroying it, I would not agree that they HAVE. Some of us are still fighting, the war is not yet lost.

      18. how does one get a divorce that has not been married? But I take your point. The problem is, when you dehumanize the child, you take away the incentive for a lifelong commitment. We need to get back to the truth of the humanity of the unborn, once society understands that we are killing our children, our future, the rest will fall into place. Whether or not that will ever happen is a question I cannot answer, all I can do is ensure that MY children, the portion of our future that *I* am responsible for raising, understand this Truth. (and fight tooth and nail to ensure that I shout it from the rooftops that anyone else with ears may hear heh)

  9. Elizabeth and Zechariah were a childless couple, because Elizabeth was barren (Luke 1:6-7).
    We know that men are barren in 50% of childless couple (medical statistics).
    Why is the Bible talking only about women being at fault ?
    How would a man feel about being told that he is cursed by God for being barren ?
    (the Old Testament says that barren women are cursed by God).
    Or is it just because the Bible was written by men only …. just a thought….a painful one for million of women…

    1. And men too. There is an interesting website that talks about this subject at some length. I liked this page that pertained to the Catechism’s points on fertility.

  10. Wow, I am a child psych. I am 34 and do not have kids and don’t think I will I find it sad that it took you having kids to come to point 5. 5. Your own children make you concerned for the future. Its what is wrong with the world. And It is also a big reason why I don’t think I will have kids. I went into my field with a desire to make sure the world is a better. And I do not need selfish reasons or MY OWN kids to feel this why. Why can’t people be “wiling to give of yourself to another” without procreating.

    1. Eva, God bless you! I too find it sad that it took me so long, but God works in mysterious ways, doesn’t He? However, there are MANY people like you who are doing just fine in their vocations including nuns, priests, consecrated religious, singles and even married couples. But I will disagree with you on one point, if I may. I am a teacher and the length that I am willing to go to help my students is pretty far. However, I am not their primary educator, their parents are. I am limited in my abilities to make the world a better place for them, but I do still have a huge role in helping each student grow up in a future world of peace. Now for my kids, it is different, as their primary educator, I have a lot more control and influence. This deeper influence was what I was referring to when I spoke of my concern for the future.

      1. I have a genius IQ, an invitation to Mensa, and several children. IQ has nothing to do with the calling to be a parent. And it is a calling, a vocation, if you will. Which is why I disagree with the OP, not everyone should have children. Many are not capable of being parents, including many who have children. I see a direct correlation between the cheapening of human life through abortion and contraception, and the number of people who engage in extramarital affairs and create children they have no apparent desire to parent. Though there are sacramentally married couples who fail in their parenting obligations, the great majority of people I see who have children but fail to parent them have never been married.

    2. you and others, including myself, need to remember that this entire website is written by YOUNG people.. heck, next year I will be too old to write for this website, kinda silly in my opinion, but hey, its their website. Apparently only young people can write for young people. Not like those of us who are older, with a bit more wisdom, could come up with any better ways to express ideas to a younger generation ;). That being said, I see where he was trying to go with this, unfortunately, he got too much wrong, heh. Even from a Catholic standpoint! From a certain perspective, the married state is actually the LEAST of the three states one can be called to, with Religious and Single in the leads… and only that third state should be having children (or any of the activities that lead to children) so this whole article is badly informed, from a Catholic prospective. But you must understand he wrote it from a reactive point of view, railing against the common feminist and atheistic view that children somehow limit or impede the living of a full life, and that being “childfree” was somehow preferable. This attitude is often followed by the somewhat sanctimonious view that parents are “selfish” for having children, an impossibility for true parents, though there are many selfish people who procreate, but never become parents, leading to the need for people of your profession.

  11. ANYONE WHO DOES NOT HAVE A CHILD MUST BE PUT TO DEATH IN THE NAME OF THE ONE TRUE WAY OF CHRIST, ALONG WITH THE HOMOSEXUALS, THE BISEXUALS, THE ASEXUALS AND THE NON-CHRISTIAN WHORES!

    You have only ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE AND ONE PURPOSE ALONE other than worship! That purpose is producing as many children as HUMANLY POSSIBLE! HEIL KING JESUS! DEATH TO THE BLASTPHEMERS!

    1. What would be your reasons to have children? I am curious. What could I have added to make it a more convincing case for you?

  12. You had me until the religion thing. Then I realized I was looking for stuff on a religious site. Good stuff.

      1. You can’t honestly believe that EVERYTHING in this world happens because of some divine power. Even if you believe you are a conduit of divine inspiration, you have a unique character that drives decisions you make. Don’t tell me that the divine put words on paper. You may have been inspired but YOU wrote it. YOU choose particular words to use. In particular, YOU wrote about things that had nothing to do with the heavenly. Why?

        If we were just robots there would be no point in a heaven and hell.

  13. I agree with the other commentators on your article. All of your points are completely selfish ones. My husband and I are nonreligious. He describes himself as an agnostic. I myself, am an atheist. I do not feel as though having a lack of religious faith has had influence on my decision to not have children. I feel as though people believing in a “God” certainly influences their choice to duplicate themselves. Have you heard of a religion that says choosing not to procreate isn’t a damnable sin? I haven’t. If I were a person of religious faith, I’m sure that would make me a bit nervous, being child-free and all.

    You also mention that procreation is an act of love. Not so. I’d say as many as 60-70% of pregnancies today are unplanned/accidental, with people who do not love each other/are not married, and are not too pleased to be finding out they’re having a baby. Why do you think there are so many abortions going on every day? Not because there are thousands of rape victims every day, but unplanned and UNWANTED pregnancies! If babies were truly a blessing, do you think this would be happening?

    My husband and I do not want children. Your list didn’t change our minds, and there is nothing you could add to this list that would. It is statistically and scientifically known that children make you fatter, poorer, and older at an increased rate of speed. If I wanted to die faster, I’d shoot myself. It’s quicker, cheaper and much more painless than the slow agonizing death that is parenthood.

    Also, from a man’s perspective, I can understand why having children might seem more like a pleasurable experience: You do not have to get pregnant or give birth. To conceive a child, you have the fun part… orgasm. I’m sure if you had to push a cantaloupe out of your bum, you might think twice about having kids.

    Also, as a last note, we don’t want children because we cannot stand them. The constant crying and whining is enough to drive anyone batty.

    1. Best. I love you. I am actually the same as your hubby, an agnostic. Neither do we believe or disbelieve in things of greater power than human. The fat, saggy and old; the constant crying and attention seeking, worse is actually the life long responsibilities once your children is born when you are not even up to it.

      I am too, like many here being told that I will change my mind and start to want to have children when I am older. I am 25 this year. So my response will be: Go tell a gay that they will turn straight when they got older. After this they will usually keep quiet and stopped bothering me. It’s really rude actually. I definitely have nothing against gay, in fact Neil Patrick Harris is my idol. Most of these people who told me that are people who give birth because that is the society standard. You are born, you go to school, you get a job, you get married and you give birth.

      My point here is, childfree by choice people have gone through a long thought process and came to this decision. We are sensible and respectful. We understand the importance of responsibilities. We will not do something against our will just because it is how it should be. And all we hope is people with children can stop telling us we will change our mind; instead, accept our point of view just like how we accepted yours. You don’t see childfree by choice people go around telling people not to have children? It’s ridiculous.

      Yes, the woman suffer more than man when this topic is brought up, whether childfree by choice or want to have children or want but can’t have a children.

      I got dirty look most of the time when I said I don’t want to have children in my life mainly because I am a woman. Worse I am a South-east Asian. I am not sure about the western society, but here people are still very conservative.

      Anyway, I stumble upon this website because I am always reading childfree by choice forum so I figured I will check out what the people with children have got to say. The comments are nice to read. I just want to wish everyone here a good day and keep an open mind. 🙂

      1. Actually, I see that quite often, childfree people telling people not to have children. Ive been called many horrible names by “childfree” people, including selfish(because I had children when the earth was “overpopulated”, child hoarder (I have four children), “poison womb” (because ive had miscarriages, which they found out by snooping around my profile), cow, moo (because I breastfed), breeder, etc. This on a forum where I had never been and had no intention of going to, because I had disagreed with one of their number on a separate forum. Then another member linked me to the post where they were gleefully tearing every public scrap of my life apart. So kind and sweet. So “sensible and responsible”. I have yet to see the OP or anyone here tear into any of you child free people or even the admitted child haters the way I was torn into by the “childfree” (who deny any association with the “childless” who want children but cannot have them, according to that group, identifying as “childless” rather than “childfree” makes you no better than us “breeders”. again, such a compassionate group of individuals.)

      2. Saying your are selfish for having children isn’t an insult. The problem is with society misconstruing the meaning of the word “selfish” Selfish just means you do things because you want to despite how it might make other people feel. There is nothing wrong with that. You had kids because you wanted to. But when people write articles saying “EVERYONE should have children” and we are constantly badgered on a daily basis that we are wrong for not wanting them or being told we don’t really know what we want, of course we are going to be a little aggressive. If anyone is dumb enough to tell me I should have kids despite the fact of the hatred I hold towards them I won’t hesitate to tear them apart verbally. Have all the kids you want. I don’t really care, just don’t bring them to my house because they aren’t invited and we won’t have a problem.

      3. I am the Guest posted the above comment replied by Marie Nobyn.

        Marie Nobyn I am sorry to hear what you have been through. What you just described sounds like they are just nasty people to begin with and happened to be childfree. I met persistent “breeders” too but I am just annoyed instead of feeling offended because I came to understand it is the society standard like I said in my previous post; which is why I urge these people that I met who try to persuade me to have kids to keep an open mind instead of being offensive like your reply to my post. But yes like what LittleKnives said, if these persistent “breeders” have gone too far, I won’t hesitate to be a little aggressive too. Also, somehow I hope that some parents don’t expect everyone to go “aww what a sweetie, you are so cute agu aguuu aguguuu” to their kid..

        Anyhow, I hope you find peace within yourself Marie, I wish you all the best and always be happy with your family. Thank you for your defense LittleKnives.

    2. LittleKnives, I’d actually agree with you on some of your points, especially the part about how many pregnancies are unwanted. I believe that the act of “making love” is, in its complete fullness, a sacrificial act in which one gives body and soul to their beloved. Unfortunately, the world has twisted this sacredness to the point that it has become a mere form of recreation, meaningless and void of all sacrifice whatsoever. To me, “love” is defined by sacrifice, what you give and how you serve each other is your best expression of this sentiment, especially during intercourse. Everything else is one person using the other for selfish desires. That’s why I wrote the article, to give my opinion on how my own children have trumped my personal desires and given me an opportunity to be fatter, poorer and older so that they can benefit from the joy of being loved and alive.

      1. ‘To me, “love” is defined by sacrifice’. This is why religion leads to suffering.

        Sex is a bodily function like eating and defecating. Get over yourself. In 100 years nobody will care what people like you have to say.

      2. I’d disagree with you there. In fact, Theology of the Body will be studied forever. I’d recommend taking a gander at the material, it is very thought provoking.

    3. “Have you heard of a religion that says choosing not to procreate isn’t a damnable sin?”

      Actually, the Catholic one. At least historically, Christianity has been captivated more by the celibates than by the child-bearing.

      1. Well, I suppose, the idea behind celibacy is that one now has more time to devote oneself to other duties, viz a viz, care for people in poverty, ministering to the sick, missionary work (this one I imagine you would more particularly call toiling for ideology), etc.

        Still, the point is that reproduction is not the goal of life in Christianity, as can be seen from the centuries of prizing celibacy over marriage/sex.

      2. I don’t think he realizes the huge role that non religious singles have in Catholicism heh. Most people think of Catholics as promoting either Marriage, or Religious life, not recognizing the third calling, Single life (which, in its proper order would be the second calling, being above married life in order of preference, according to St. Paul)

      3. Marriage is not just about sex, though – if one treats one’s spouse as a concubine, then sure, it’s not going to take up much time. But marriage, being more than just having sex, takes up a whole lot of time in supporting one’s spouse, in that self-giving to each other. Additionally, celibacy avoids children, which also take up an enormous amount of time.

        Not to say that married people aren’t required to do many of the same tasks that celibates must do – like minister to people in poverty, sick ones, etc. It’s just that celibacy frees up one’s commitment from total-to-one for complete-to-many.

      4. Who says anyone is “required” to do anything for anyone? I’m not required to volunteer my time to the community.

      5. Who says? Well, a heck of a lot of ethicists, just to name one sort of person. Simply put, it is not up to personal choice whether we should do good, we should do good regardless. And good involves doing things for others.

        Or in other words, yes, I think you are required to give your time, because justice requires it of you.

      6. Well actually, it IS a personal choice. It’s your opinion that it isn’t. I am free to do whatever I wish, I won’t go to jail if I don’t go volunteer at the soup kitchen, donate my clothes to a women’s shelter, or donate blood. I won’t be doing any of that any time soon, and nothing is going to happen if I don’t.

      7. I realize you are free to choose, with no legal rebuke. I did not claim otherwise! I simply pointed out what is moral, not what you are physically or legally forced to do.

        It is, however, the view of Catholics, that we are not permitted to simply do whatever we want so long as it is legal. The Catechism quotes St John Chrysostom to that effect:

        “Not to enable the poor to share in our goods is to
        steal from them and deprive them of life. The goods we possess are not
        ours, but theirs.” (cf. CCC 2446)

        I know that many who profess to be Catholics do not heed this, but this does not mean it is not true. At the very least, true Catholics believe what the catechism clearly states in quoting St John.

      8. Well if you had read my other comments you would understand that I’m an atheist. None of your rules apply to me, and morality is subjective.

      9. I realize that, but I’m afraid if I happen to be right, then my “rules” apply to everyone, not just to those who recognize they are true. If I am right, morality is in some sense more like gravity – it is irrelevant whether you believe it, there is a fact of a matter. But you think I’m wrong anyway, so I’m aware you do not care.

        Regardlesss, you’re on a Catholic web page, you can go get an atheist perspective elsewhere, or learn to put up with Catholic perspectives.

      10. Well I’m not going to live my life based on your perspectives or wishful thinking. Morals are not like gravity… gravity is something accepted world wide, morals are different based on culture, up bringing and personal perspective. I may be on a Catholic web page, but I came here for the blog about having children, not a lesson in your personal ideals on morality, or the Catholic ideals. I can tolerate our differences, just don’t try to cram your bullshit down my throat. You can also learn to kiss my ass.

      11. It’s not just me, if you read up on ethics, you’ll find it’s a substantial majority of secular ethicists who also think that one has a moral obligation to do the right thing. Read Peter Singer’s “Famine, Affluence and Morality” – Singer is an atheist, and quite anti-Christian (largely because of Christian perspectives on animals). It’s a nice and easy read, but you’ll see what I am saying. If you want to be reasonable, of course, and you’re also perfectly free (your “personal choice”) to not be reasonable.

        Morals are accepted worldwide, just not the same ones necessarily. Gravity is accepted worldwide, but the overwhelming majority do not understand general relativity, which is our best theory of how gravity works (or even Newtonian gravity, which is far simpler). Morality and gravity are both pretty much accepted worldwide, how they work and what they imply, not so much. But that’s not my point, my point was completely different – but thanks for missing that.

        Well, you could have left by now, but clearly you don’t fancy that! So again, you’ll just have to put up with the Catholic-ness on a Catholic webpage, until you do decide to leave.

      12. I actually don’t have to put up with anything I don’t want to put up with. I understand that you’re a Catholic. I understand that you believe that there is a certain “moral code” to which we are obligated as human beings to live our lives by. I hope you also understand that I think this is total horse shit. I give a good portion of my paycheck to society and all it’s free loaders. I still manage to pay both American and German taxes since my husband and I are stationed here in Germany. As far as I’m concerned, providing a living for people is PLENTY. Anything more, and I would be a work horse for the government, and the lazy people who abuse it. No thank you. My priorities are my husband, myself and my family and friends. I’ve never taken help from the government or used public assistance, people need to learn how to rely on themselves… I would think that as a religious person, that would be something that you would value. Fuck society, fuck helping people who do nothing in return for society or themselves, fuck the human race. This is MY life. I am living it to fulfill my needs and wants, and if anyone expects anything more than that from me, that’s their problem, not mine.

      13. Oh, and let’s not forget that my husband is a soldier in the Army… as far as I’m concerned, we both are doing enough for the world, especially him.

      14. If you’re an American, you should be thankful for your soldiers! Soldiers have given food, built homes, built systems to provide citizens with clean water, the medics provide free medical care for third world countries… you can disrespect soldiers all you want, but if you’re an American, be thankful that they fight for your right to talk shit. You’re a fucking moron, Christianity has caused more turmoil and harm than American soldiers all over the world. Your Holy book is full of rape, murder, incest, mutilation, cannibalism, torture, slavery and so much more, all with the consent of your benevolent “loving” God! My husband does more good for the world than your precious little book. So fuck you, fuck your religion, and shove your book up your ass.

      15. Does anyone think if I established a church of Satan I could make some money? Christianity needs some good competition.

      16. Assuming you mean what I think you mean, you’re sort of right. It depends on what you mean by prove, and various other factors, but that sort of discussion can get quite technical.

        Regardless, I prefaced my point with “if I am right.” If I am right, and (excuse the philosophical sounding word) reality does have the properties I think it does, one in which moral laws are laws as intransigent as gravity, where breaking a moral law has consequences, then what I said is correct. I did not claim to have proven it – I only claimed that if I am right, it has more consequences than just “oops.”

      17. What justice is, is a hard question to answer. You might recall that Socrates asks it at length in Plato’s “The Republic.” I have my own tentative answer, the ethicists I alluded to would probably have slightly different answers. I think justice in a utilitarian framework involves treating all relevant sentient beings equally.

      18. I’m talking about married couples here… having sex without intending to procreate is considered a HUGE no-no! I went to Catholic school, went to Catholic church, and renounced all of it! Even MASTURBATION is looked down on… Religion is a tie to our cave dwelling ancestors who can’t comprehend the simplicity of life… we mock them for having worshiped the sun, but at least they could SEE it! You can’t see a giant invisible transdimensional man

      19. Well, that just makes sense to me. Sex is for a purpose, the giving of oneself in love, geared naturally towards the creation of life.

        And frankly, I’ve never gotten the “you can’t see it” objection. In my field of physics, everything we believe in is essentially invisible, and many things are invisible even in principle.

      20. My husband and I have sex because we love each other and because it’s FUN! We don’t have sex because we want a baby, in fact if I became pregnant, we would be miserable, especially me. I would run to the nearest abortion clinic. Your God is just about as logical as me saying that I believe in magical invisible unicorns.

      21. Magical invisible unicorns? Really? That’s quite a pathetic jab.

        But anyway, my point was not so much about your motives for having sex are, lots of people have different motives for having sex, some of them good, some of them bad, and I would classify the selfish ones as bad. But you’re free to do what you want.

      22. Well it just puts into perspective how ridiculous it is to believe in God. I believe in things that have scientific evidence to back it up.

        I don’t have sex for selfish reasons, my husband and I both enjoy it together! In fact, procreation can be seen as selfish. Why are you insisting that you have your own children when there are millions that need to be adopted?

        Why are you having children when the world is severely over populated and polluted? Having a baby is a HUGE way to contribute to the problem with America’s (and I’m assuming other countries as well) landfill problem, air and water pollution as well.

        Aren’t most people’s reason for having kids because: ” I WANT to”. “I WANT someone to love me unconditionally”, “I WANT to be taken care of when I’m old”, “Babies are CUTE”… all selfish reasons.

        Just because you feel like your selfishness is somehow more “moral” than mine doesn’t mean shit to me. I love my husband. I do everything I can to make sure he’s happy. If you think that’s selfish, well…. you can shove your opinions up your ass 🙂

      23. No, it doesn’t, nobody has ever believed in magical invisible unicorns, to make that comparison is just to be ignorant (and smug about it, at that) of what theists mean by God. As people are now tired of saying, they don’t believe in old bearded men in the sky. Magical unicorns are straw-animals.

        I wasn’t insinuating that you had it for selfish reasons, either, I was saying that if someone did have selfish reasons, that would not be a good indication of the morality of the issue. Rape, for instance, is selfish (and immoral) sex. I made no judgement on your sex life at all.

        I have no children, and I do not plan on having any children – indeed, I hope I do not. My reasons are absolutely non-existent, thank you very much.

        So your aggressiveness just seems like defensiveness to me, but as with my other opinions, I have now been informed where to put them.

      24. If I believed in a flying spaghetti monster, would that somehow come across as ridiculous to you? Then you can understand why I think belief in God is irrational. Your bible depicts God as a man. “We were created in his image”…and they refer to him as a HE.

        You mentioned “selfish sex” and that it was bad, and then told me I was free to do what I wish… how exactly was I meant to interpret that in any other way?

      25. Nobody has ever believed in the FSM seriously, so there’s one reason I would find it ridiculous. Others include the fact that the FSM was made up as satire, there has not only not been any serious belief in FSM, but there is also no universal (across the world) belief in the FSM, whereas most cultures have had God or something similar to God. Another reason is that the FSM is described as intrinsically physical, and yet modern cosmology informs us that everything physical had a beginning. Must I go on? I can give other reasons why FSM is ridiculous, all of which do not apply to belief in God, because God is completely different conceptually to the FSM.

        God is also depicted as a woman, just for the record. The only time God is said to be intrinsically gendered is in the incarnation, and yes, Jesus is male, and then God is described as the Father – except, that is still analogical. Sex is something embodied persons have.

        Yes, the Bible does say we were created in the image of God. But thinking that it means “we look like God” is quite silly, and I’m sure you didn’t mean that. What’s your point?

        Quite easily, were you to interpret it another way. Whether selfishly or unselfishly, you’re free to have sex how you want. Very simple.

      26. Hundreds of years ago, science had to justify itself to religion. Now religion is having to justify itself to science.

        Gravity is invisible, but it is very easy to feel, test, and measure. These semantic magic tricks on work on people that already want to believe.

      27. I don’t see religion as having to justify itself to science, I really don’t think they’re on the same playing field. But that’s another issue.

        I wasn’t thinking of gravity, actually, since gravity may be invisible, but it is a matter of common experience. Fields might be an interesting example of things we believe in, with reasons to do so, and are nonetheless invisible.

        No, I was speaking of things in particle physics, in particular, entities like quarks. The current way of understanding them leads us to think that we’ll never see them, even in principle, and that they are too bound up with other quarks to feasibly separate them. They are invisible, because there’s no way to get a photon to hit it.

        And it’s not a semantic word game, either – quarks aren’t the best example, but if you take various versions of string theory, the hardest part is not to formulate the theory, but to test any predictions the theory might make. At it’s most fundamental, physics has to ask questions which are not solely empirical, but also profoundly philosophical. It’s not just a matter of feeling, testing and measuring, because it involves all sorts of theoretical and philosophical argumentation that transcends the purely empirical.

      28. Oh, I now realize I never responded to this.

        They are not semantic tricks, and I was not talking about gravity, I was thinking about various of the particles proposed by modern particle physics. They’re not tested, felt or even measured directly – there’s a sort of inference-model based view of them. They “exist”, according to physics, because they make sense of observable phenomena if we pretend they do. Or, perhaps one could say that they really do exist, and we would do so on the basis of inferences from observables to invisible things, sometimes things which are intrinsically invisible and by definition will always avoid perception.

  14. EVERY SINGLE REASON IS INVOLVED WITH “YOU”. YOU. YOU. YOU. WHAT ABOUT THE KID ? WHAT ABOUT WHEN THE KID GETS OLD ? WHAT ABOUT THE SUFFERING THE KID WILL UNWILLINGLY HAVE TO GO THOUGH IN THIS WORLD THAT GETS NASTIER UGLIER AND HARDER BY THE DAY. I SEE PEOPLE CLOSE TO ME DIE. MY STOMACH HURTS ALOT BECAUSE SOMETIMES I DONT HAVE FOOD. I SEE KIDS WITH BALD HEADS FROM CANCER AND I SEE WARS AND A LIFETIME OF LABOR. I LOVE MY KID SO MUCH IM NOT HAVING ONE. YOU SELFISH BASTARDS

    1. My sincere apologies for offending you, but as the night fades, daybreak is indeed near. And I also wanted to thank you for calling me out on being selfish. Please come back to my next post which I will be titling “6 More Reasons Everyone Should Have Children.” I look forward to seeing your thoughts. In the meantime, is there anything I can do to help ease your pain? Inbox me at tjburdick.com

  15. These are the most selfish and stupid reasons I’ve ever heard for having kids!
    Have kids so that you are fit and healthy? Um…I’m fit and healthy without the kids thank you. also point 6 I strongly disagree with. Everyone I know that has kids looks haggard and miserable, they don’t go out anywhere, they spend their days cleaning and listening to shrieking noises, they are broke and have a poor quality of life and constantly whinge how hard raising children is. Meanwhile me and my non-mother friends are extremely happy, travelling the world, meeting new people, buying designer clothes and new cars, having a year-round immaculate house, enjoying nice quiet dinners and drinking….ah bliss.

  16. Religious people are afraid, very afraid. When people stop breeding like rabbits due to education and technology, there will be no more ‘sheep’ for the ‘shepards’. This is a great sign!

    1. You are absolutely right. We are afraid. But not for the reasons or the people you think. We are afraid for you, and for the world, as we see it sinking farther and farther into sin and decay, more and more into the grasp of Satan (biggest score he ever made was convincing people like you he didn’t exist) Do you honestly look at the world around you and see it as a better place than it was before people “stopped breeding like rabbits due to education and technology”? And unfortunately, people didn’t stop breeding like rabbits, they simply stopped allowing the young to grow… a far different, and much more sinister, thing. If anything, people “breed” to use your crude terminology, more now than ever. We are afraid, and worried, because right now the world has such potential, true peace could be attained with the information and technology we have today, meaning information technology, the internet, jet planes that can make their way from one side of the world to the other in record time, programs that make it simple to translate or learn other languages easily, access to historical documents that make greater understanding of one another so much easier to attain.. but because we have devalued human life so much.. we devalue eachother, and people fail to seek out the opportunities we are given to HELP one another, and instead, tear eachother down in an age where we could so easily lift eachother up.

      1. I supposed the Christians of past never devalued human life. The Crusades, the Inquisition, and witch burnings were all just anomalies.

  17. I sometimes feel like society is trying so hard (without realizing it) to parallel the wisdom of the Church’s understanding regarding the single, married, and consecrated life.

      1. Woops. Commenting error. Reposting.

        I confess I can’t clearly articulate it yet. It’s more of an intuition that needs correction and fleshing out. I think it important to reiterate and clarify that I think the culture proposes a parallel image, not a direct comparison.

        1) Not everyone is called to marriage, and you might be happier unmarried. This is true.

        2) Not everyone is called to “single” life, and you might be happier married. This is also true.

        3) The culture (our human nature) also recognizes that we are indeed called to communion and relationship with other people; we are so thirsty to be part of something bigger than us.

        The Church has room for married, single, and consecrated walks of life. All these ways can be incredibly life-giving. Some of the wisest words I’ve ever heard regarding the topic of vocation are these, “In order to most fully appreciate our own vocation, we must see what’s desirable and even feel some pull to another.”

        This topic reminds me of when Jesus asks the Pharisees whose image is on the coin. It was Caesar’s of course, but his question is a deeper question about whose image WE are made in, and to render accordingly.

    1. I confess I can’t clearly articulate it yet. It’s more of an intuition that needs correction and fleshing out. I think it important to reiterate and clarify that I think the culture proposes a parallel image, not a direct comparison.
      1) Not everyone is called to marriage, and you might be happier unmarried. This is true.
      2) Not everyone is called to “single” life, and you might be happier married. This is also true.
      3) The culture (our human nature) also recognizes that we are indeed called to communion and relationship with other people; we are so thirsty to be part of something bigger than us.
      The Church has room for married, single, and consecrated walks of life. All these ways can be incredibly life-giving. Some of the wisest words I’ve ever heard regarding the topic of vocation are these, “In order to most fully appreciate our own vocation, we must see what’s desirable and even feel some pull to another.”
      This topic reminds me of when Jesus asks the Pharisees whose image is on the coin. It was Caesar’s of course, but his question is a deeper question about whose image WE are made in, and to render accordingly.

  18. Timothy,

    I would have to agree with what some of the others are saying. These have more to do with your own personal reasons. These cannot apply to everyone.

    I think the only good reason to have children is because you want to (there are of course those that shouldn’t have kids but that would be part of the “x reasons why you should not have kids” discussion).

    I am almost convinced that women have an inbuilt desire to have kids. An instinct that cannot be ignored. I never had this desire. For me, the negative aspects of having kids heavily outweighs whatever benefits they might bring.
    The pregnancy, going through labour, the bodily changes that come with it, waking up in the middle of the night, picking up your child from school/daycare, having to worry about your child 24/7, the screaming, repeating things over and over again… I would surely lose my sanity.

    I am surprised that you had to have kids to start worrying about things I already worry about. I don’t have kids and I am REALLY worried about politics/government, WHO, capitalism, society and ethics.

    I really don’t know what Time magazine was thinking putting that picture on that front cover. It’s such a cliche and far from the truth. We have things to worry about. We have responsibilities. Just not the added worry of watching over someone.

    1. Lucy, first off, happy feast day. We Catholics celebrate St. Lucy’s heroic virtue today, Dec. 13th. And as you may have read in the comments above, I am admittedly aware of the selfishness in this piece. Please stop by next Sat where I’ll have a new post titled “6 More Reasons Why Everyone Should Have Kids” that will (hopefully) be self-free.

  19. I DONT CARE HOW GOOD HAVING KIDS MAKES YOU FEEL, OR HOW IT MAKES YOU NOT BORED WITH YOUR WIFE OR WHATEVER ITS WRONG!!! THE WORLD IS SO OVERPOPULATED< ONLY PEOPLE WITH A LOT OF MONEY AND SAFE AREAS WHO CAN PROVIDE A FULL RIDE FOR A CHILD SHOULD BE HAVING CHILDREN AND EVEN THEN IT SHOULD BE LIMITED TO 2 CHILDREN MAX!!!! I IMMAgine YOUR A NORMAL GUY Middle Class, Think about what life will be like for your children, How will they move out, Can you pay for them all to go to colledge and rooma dn board ect..? And after that with the huge population differential how likely is it that your children will be able to get jobs, Do you have connections or jobs set up for them as a backup plan? People have children but they dont think, they just think aww babies are cute and having kids makes me happy and blah blah blah they dont realize they are "bringing a person into this world that is WAY WAY harder to live in than it was even just 10 short years ago. The main issue is the huge surge of illegals in our counrtry and the fact that kids like me have to grow up with their kids and deal with gang violence and a serious hate for white people, And theyre parents take jobs teenagers would normally have like mowing lawns, flipping burgers ect…. So what is a white american teenager from a middle class family supposed to do? Theres just too many damn people, If your gunna have kids you gotta ensure you have a solid plan for them and do whatever you can to help us get rid of the illegals over populating our country and sucking our economy dry, It wouldnt be such a huge issue if they were in their own country building their own economy instead of syphoning ours. THERE IS ABSOLUTLY NO REASON UNPLANNED PREGNANCY SHOULD STILL EXIST IN A CIVILIZED COUNTRY LIKE THIS. And we need to stop handing out birth certificates and drivers licenses to illegals, It like a big neon sign telling them to come here and have kids. I JUST ASK THAT YOU ALL REALLY REALLY THINK BEFORE HAVING CHILDREN. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ABORTION, IN FACT THERE IS A VERY GOOD CHANCE IT COULD SAVE YOUR CHILD FROM A LIFE FULL OF SUFFERING. AS A KID GROWING UP IN THIS CENTURY SURROUNDED BY IDIOTIC ADULTS WHO THINK ILLEGALS DONT EFFECT THE ECONOMY AND DONT UNDERSTAND HOW DANGEROUS AND LAWLESS THEIR CHILDREN ARE, THey think everyone deserves a fair shot I think thats bullshit. If i went to mexico i WOULD NOT expect to have rights and to be given a job If i was not a citizen, Im pretty sure they would spit in my face call me Gringo and tell me to fuck off, But thats ok, Because its THEIR COUNTRY! NOT MINE! THE TRUTH IS HAVING CHILDREN IS SELFISH!!!! DONT BE SELFISH! CONTRIBUTE SOMETHING POSITIVE TO THE WORLD NOT JUST ANOTHER MOUTH TO FEED! THERE ARE ONLY SO MANY RECOURSES TO GO AROUND AND IN AREAS WHERE POPULATIONS ARE HIGH AND NO ONE KNOWS EACHOTHER AND ILLEGALS ARE ABLE TO COME IN AND START POPPING OUT KIDS (AND ITS JUST PEOPLE EVERYWHERE) VIOLENCE IS EXTREMELY HIGH BECAUSE THERE IS NO COMMUNITY. WE HAVE LOST ALL SENCE OF COMMMUNITY IN THIS COUNTRY BECAUSE PEOPLE JUST CANT STOP POPPING OUT KIDS, ITS LIKE THEY ARE BLIND TO THE WAY THE WORLD IS.

    1. So, on the chance that your kid might grow up to be a miserable human being, its better to shoot them in the head while they are still too young to notice.. is that it? This “logic” never fails to astound me. We have lost all sense of community in this country and violence is extremely high because we have DEVALUED HUMAN LIFE BY ABORTION AND CONTRACEPTION. THAT is true logic. And anyone with a shred of intelligence and more importantly, intellectual honesty would know this to be true.

  20. Pingback: 6 More Reasons Why Everyone Should Have kids : IgnitumToday

  21. So, having having is absolutely guaranteed to make you a more caring, compassionate, and siritually enlightened person. Strange how this sudden ascension to the sanctified state of parenthood doesn’t seem to prevent mothers and fathers from abusing and killing their children every single day.

    I think foregoing parenthood because you know in your heart you don’t want children and don’t want a child to suffer growing up unwanted is an act of kindness equally as compassionate as being a loving parent. And just as deserving of respect.

    1. You would think its obvious. I understand why some people are against abortion, but when you look at how religions are against contraception, premarital sex, and divorce, you realize that its all about procreation to the max.

      1. um.. didn’t you just contradict yourself there? Seems if it was all about procreation we wouldn’t be against premarital sex OR divorce, both of which tend to INCREASE procreation. Logic. We are against contraception both because it cheapens the marital act, and because it leads to abortion, and abortion is murder. Far from what modernists and feminists claim, the rise in contraception and the rise in abortion go hand in hand. More contraception, more promiscuous extramarital sex, more “accidental” pregnancy (because NO contraception is 100 percent, most are under 80 percent with typical use, look it up) more abortion. There were far fewer unwanted pregnancies, “accidental” pregnancies, and extramarital pregnancies before the advent of contraception. There was also a little thing called “personal responsibility” which has become an endangered species these days.

    2. I actually agree with that. But truly forgo parenting, don’t just forgo caring for a child once conceived. Abstain, be truly selfless.

      1. So sex= parenting?? LMAO, aren’t you claiming to have a genius IQ and you really just compared sex to parenting? So each blow job I give my husband, he’s “dropping off the kids”… in my stomach.

  22. At this point in my life, I have absolutely no desire to have children once I marry. I PERSONALLY can counter to all 6 things on here:
    1. I’d rather attend professional sporting events every night compared to taking kids to extra curiculars and being a “servant.”
    2. My diet is already healthy as I have a strict diet that focuses on coconuts, almonds, eggs, and meat (don’t gain weight easily even if I ate all carbs, trust me, carbs like rice and corn were my main diet for 10 years) and I only weigh 105 pounds at 5’8″
    3. I plan to compete in the Special Olympics as long as I can, which will be my exercise when I’m not busy doing the career I love.
    4. I have been involved in SO MANY extra-curiculars and I get straight A’s, so I already have had plenty of practice with time management, so I don’t need a child to help me learn to be flexible.
    5. The extra-curiculars I’ve been a part of has helped me reach about 1,200 volunteer hours (includes positions) and I have plans to help in other ways once I become an adult. I don’t need a child for me to realize the community is important.
    6. I’m very thankful for all the support and sacrifices my family has given to me in my life. But I just don’t think I’m willing to sacrifice most of my income and possibly my career to raise a child. I want to live the good life, go on vacations, go to sports events every night, and other things. I want to have lots of money after my bills and taxes to spend on what I want and that alone, along with a wife and even one dog, are all I need to have my happiness fulfilled. And with a diet like mine, I have less money because my food is expensive.

    Also, I’ve never been good at handling kids, nor can I handle all the late nights, school, homework, and crying.

    Having children or not is a personal choice, but being a devoted Christian, I can tell you that having children is not required for you to get to heaven in the best possible way. Children, in many ways, would never work for me. But my parents tell me my mind might change, but it’s going to take a lot for me to move from my position.

    1. A Christian that gets it. Thank you. I don’t understand the whole ‘kids will get you into heaven’ argument. Its pure BS.

    2. You being a devoted Christian, my concern would be how you intend to avoid children once you have your wife and dog. Now if you chose to live a single life of devotion to God and used your career to serve Him, that would be a whole different story, and a commendable one.

      1. Contraception, anal sex, oral sex, hand jobs, pulling out… preventing pregnancy is actually easier than getting pregnant.

  23. There simply isn’t one life-path that is the right path for everyone. Single or married, kids or none, black or white, yellow or brown, tall or short, rich of poor and so on, we are all complex, interesting, unique human beings with our own personal paths to walk. Your path is not my path and that is perfect. Lets stop the comparisons and divisiveness. It’s not helping anyone and is harming people.

    If those are your reasons for your path, fantastic. None-the-less, they do not apply to the entire world.

  24. This seems to be a hot discussion! Like a few others I stumbled here not realising this was a catholic-centric blog. As already pointed out by the children psychologist who doesnt want kids, your point that having kids help us care about the future is not a plus but a minus. People should care about consequences of their actions regardless of having any offspring who will live in the resulting mess/bliss. Maybe have suggested a change in the title, I concur. “6 reasons why I am happy I have kids”!

    The commenter called “hat” is like-minded but I disagree with his brash attitude towards the blog poster. “dumber people are breeders” haha that is such a low blow…factual or not, just because you can doesnt mean you should.
    I think the Bible says “children are a blessing” so those who cannot conceive are cursed? I dont think so. Not to digress but the catholic enterprise is the heart of the modern christianity farce. If Jesus was here today he would criticize the regression and manipulation of his teachings. (Yes I agree with the teachings of Jesus, regardless of whether he was a real man or not).

    The obvious conclusion is that, not everyone is called to have kids and having kids shouldnt be forced upon anyone but rather the default/expected view for a person is to not have kids and heavy thought should hang over the decision when one is aligned with the view to procreate. Children are a responsibility of not just the parents but all who come into contact with the child, as the child will not live in a bubble until adulthood. We shouldnt be selfish, as wonderfully put by another person here who said she loves her kids too much to have kids.

    1. When I say “dumber people are breeders” it does not mean that people that have children are dumb. It means that dumb people are more likely to have children regardless of the consequences. While this may be a ‘low blow’, it seems to be a fact that is conveniently ignored time and time again.

      I have a big problem with ideologies that promote procreation in order to propagate their own ideology. They resort to force, not reason to compete with other ideas.

      1. well then since this is a Catholic, not a Muslim, fundamentalist or “quiverful” blog, we shouldn’t have a problem.

  25. now while I’m not so big on dogma we live in a generation of over titled hyper spoiled over conscious people because after World War 2 there were little population as many soldiers were getting killed and died so with the baby boom this was too if anything procreate and redevelop the world that we live in now 60 years later soul here we are in this generation we have made major strides in relations of gender race politics religion of course it’s not all perfect but the thing that gets my goat testing this discussion is sure this guy has his own opinion he’s not the only one in the whole planet that feels like that for everyone off the atheist and agnostic vibe they are probably double that and I also take offense to that someone would say people are dumb for bringing kids in the world everybody has different reasons that’s our history marri age was created for land and also different legal matters children were born 2 continue ancestry if that was not the case none of you selfish over the Collegeeducatedpeople would even be alive today if your grandparents or great grandparents had your type of idea and believe me times were worse 102 60 years ago that now so while not having children is for everybody we still have to respect that the world has to continue if not what’s the damn purpose of using existing if we do decline and this is what is happening now especially in North America there is a decline of birth rate so in the hundred years hey maybe you will all end up single forever or and with a partner and or you will die alone and you will not have any legacy or any trace of your existence now we can only hope that you love done something to contribute while your time on while your time on earth whether it be giving back doesn’t mean you have to have children it doesn’t mean you even have to like them but at least respect the fact that human beings part of the reason why we can exist today using Internet have the freedom of speech and write is because we exist today I find it a little selfish to some degree for a potential future generations that can make things better if we just decided to say OK anybody who has kids today is an outcast and leave it all to the single people I wonder what kind of world we would have had today mind you you’re now in a generation of people getting ready to retire without any new Youngblood to almost even take care of some of the most daunting jobs and then what about care for the elderly which all of us will be at one point or another if we do make it I don’t know any of the people were going to want to take the later time and work in hospitals that they’re fragile age helping others to stay alive it takes a new outlook with fresh innovation to make a change for example The Vaccines we havebreakthrough in helping some impoverished nationsthe sanitation system that we have been using for well over almost 100 yearsof course this will not be easy but it beats annihilating the whole Earth’s population because we see things always as indicative with no hope

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  27. Having kids in the 1950’s (AKA Happy Days) worked for a few good reasons. The main reason is that women were women who raised their children and never had a thought about being a cop or fireman or working outside the home…That was the mans job. The family unit was intact and strong…Once women left the home to trade their love for their children for a second income, the family unit began to crack…The world caught on and started basing the cost of things on a double income…Now, 50 years later, the family unit is shot…Now people walk around like zombies with their faces glued to their smart phones in search of what we, who were lucky enough to have back in the day…LOVE…Today they have thousands of friends they text and that keeps the machine moving…Having a kid in todays world is not a good idea…The kid at best will be an obedient zombie…Let’s hope they don’t develope a taste for human flesh..

    1. There is some truth to this. Keep in mind however, the 1950s were a unique period of history of unprecedented growth in the west.

    2. there are still women in the world who choose to stay home and take care of their children, often educating them herself as well, encouraging them to think for themselves rather than parroting whatever the state feeds them.

      1. So having one single teacher educating the children with no outside views except for your own to influence their thinking is teaching them independent thinking hoooow??

    3. The 1950’s were a brief period of time of unprecedented economic growth that facilitated intact families in spite of the fact that traditionalism was already on its way out. Unless you want to bomb the world back into a pre-industrial time, traditionalism aka ‘the patriarchy’ is not coming back.

    4. Just because I choose to work and not have children doesn’t make me any less of a woman. If anything. I think it makes you less of a woman to have to depend on another person for an income and comfortable living. I take pride in being independent.

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  29. Hello, you raise some good points but not everyone is right to have kids or having children doesn’t work for everyone. There must be a variety if circumstances considered. I’m 22 and I’m a certified early childhood educator in Ontario,
    who loves children. That being said, I’m not officially working in officials places for eces yet. I graduated my diploma program with honors and enrolled in a degree program. During my student placements, I come to love andor care for my children from placements. However each age group has it’s benefits and challenges. Anyway, I hope to find the one or rather my true signifigant other one day and get married, but I’m not sure if I’d be willing to have my own brood of children, you know? Besides me being an ece,, I’m an aspiring writer. I look forward to your reply.

  30. These seem like great reasons to spend time around children, but I don’t see why they necessitate that the children be one’s own. Fostering or adopting would ostensibly provide the same benefits without placing unnecessary strain on already scarce global resources. I understand the author’s attachment to his children and his decision to procreate, but he is writing from a very privileged position. Not everyone has the option of family planning. I personally believe that if you have the option, education, and resources to not have biological children, you should not have biological children. I tend to keep this opinion to myself because it’s not very popular, and I have several close friends with new babies. I don’t think that they’re bad people, and I don’t want to offend them or make them think that I don’t like their children. Still, you may be surprised how many childless people secretly feel this way. The most common rebuke I get is that having biological kids feels natural and is thus inherently right. That doesn’t fly, though. A burglar feels entitled to the property of others. The drunk driver feels as though he can safely operate a motor vehicle. If you use your feelings to justify your actions, your actions are no more (or less) defensible than those of a common criminal. So, use your head. Think: is my decision to have children making the world a better place? The nature of the question is unavoidably rhetorical, not to mention that defining “good” is only possible by making subjective value judgments. How could you ever know the ramifications of creating a new life? Your baby could be the next Einstein or the next Hitler. Or, more likely, just another grubby first-world everyman taking more than his fair share of the planetary pie. So, is having kids right or wrong? Who knows. It’s egotistical, it’s narcissistic, and it’s consumerist – but so are most inventions of modern man. And who am I to question those ideologies? Lord knows I have a host of my own.

    As for defining love, I don’t see why you are having such a problem. The bible (which I take it you read and agree with) says that God is love. There’s your definition right there. I personally agree with commenter hat – I do not believe that love is definable. Kierkegaard says that in facing the absurdity of life, some commit physical suicide, while some commit intellectual suicide (ascribing to religion) as a way to deal with uncertainty. According to this philosophy, you’ve committed the latter. I’ve come close to committing the former; they’re both means to an end. Admitting just how much we don’t know can be pretty terrifying; it’s quite normal to try and find a way out. Strong agnosticism isn’t exactly predominant; most people just aren’t too sure how they feel about it, if you catch my drift 😉

    As far as love is concerned, I am less tied to a definition and more to a mechanism. If you love yourself, then by extension you love all others equally (including your enemies). If you don’t love yourself, you are incapable of loving anyone else, at all (including your family). I also believe that each of us moves in and out of states of love throughout our lives, even throughout a single day. Real loving requires mindfulness, and it is work to love yourself as much as it is work to love others. What you define love as, and how you show it, is entirely personal. When I am loving to myself, that means that I give myself plenty of space and take good care of my physical body. So, a loving action from me might be providing a healthy meal or safe resting place to another human being. For someone else, a loving action may be creating a piece of music or poetry to share with the world. Favoritism, hierarchy, and other ways of grouping people are often called love, colloquially (for instance, if you say you love your own kids more than the kids of someone else, I would say to you that that’s something other than love – the same way you “love” a certain movie more than other movies).

    Then again, language will never be anything more than a series of symbols. In that sense, the word “love” can be defined as much as a variable in an algebraic equation – but because of its loose cultural associations, it may be necessary to state your own definition of the word before using it in conversation (again, much like you have to define mathematical variables in order to solve an equation). Wow, this got long. #novelinthecomments

    1. “Kierkegaard says that in facing the absurdity of life, some commit physical suicide, while some commit intellectual suicide (ascribing to religion) as a way to deal with uncertainty. According to this philosophy, you’ve committed the latter. I’ve come close to committing the former; they’re both means to an end.”

      Damn.

      1. You know what, I don’t actually know if that was Kierkegaard or not. It was total hearsay. Bad troll!

  31. This must be a troll? If anything these “reasons” have just made me more averted to the notion of having children of my own. I thank you for that.

  32. I will not have childrne because of the fact that i think of the future. If it took a child to make you think about it you are far to late. I will not subject my child to a planet that pays a taker more than a person who does.

    1. “If it took a child to make you think about it you are far to late.” How come no one else mentioned this?? This is the most spot on point.

      Men in particular have no place having children in this society. There are too many risks involved.

  33. Can you think of a reason to have kids that is about that kid? All these reasons are selfish. Don’t have a kid because it will make your own life better, do it for that new person who didn’t have a choice in the matter. And, it doesn’t take a child to make one exercise, eat well, and care about the future of our world.

  34. Michelle Ziegenhagen

    You are quite self-righteous. One does not need to have children to be able to attain anything you have listed. And thinking that is plain ignorant.

  35. Michelle Ziegenhagen

    Oh, and Priests should be able to have children. The only reason they are not allowed to marry or have children dates back to the Church of England, and it being outlawed because priests were willing their parish to their families and the land was not given back to the Church of England–something the government was not happy about. So they outlawed priests having children. This rule should be abolished as it actually has no religious significance.

  36. I’m glad that you’re happy with your life choices, but to say that everyone should have children is ludicrous. Children would give me less time to focus on my volunteer work. I am also very political, and I write emails/letters to companies all the time. I have a very healthy diet. I am fit, and I already care about the environment. I follow the first rule of the environment to the best of my abilities which is reduce. I’m sorry that you needed a life altering event to care about the world but this isn’t the case for everyone. I’ve known since I was 9 that having children was not right for me. I’m 24 now, and I haven’t changed my mind once throughout this time. Btw, I think you should know that women are more likely to become fatter after bearing children. Just because having children was the right decision for you, it doesn’t mean it’s the right decision for everyone.

  37. I’m an early childhood teacher and teach kids aged 3-5. They’re great, but at the end of the day I’m happy to come home to my husband and my cat, put my feet up and drink some wine. I think ‘Reason no.5’ is ridiculous: “Your own children make you concerned for the future”…I’m very concerned for the future: of our earth! – I recycle, compost, recycle food scraps with vermiculture, we keep bees ffs. Some would argue that having (multiple) kids is the least eco-friendly action you can ever take, I really believe it should be kept at 1 or 2. Overpopulation and over-consumption is ruining our only planet – I like kids, but won’t have any of my own. The sky-fairy isn’t going to come down and fix this mess, we have to.

  38. Newsflash: Children do not exist to make you eat healthy or fulfill some other vain “life purpose” for you. They’re autonomous human beings, not fuck trophies created in your image to serve your legacy.

    Oh, and by no means should “everyone” have kids. Views like that are why society is in the shape it’s in: child abuse and neglect, welfare, poverty, crime, recidivism, rinse and repeat. Everyone cares about potential children (unborn fetuses, the ability to reproduce “someday”) but stops caring the second they’re shat out onto the birthin’ table.

    Google “Anthony McTear,” “Otty Sanchez” and “Angelo Mendoza” for some graphic examples of monsters who should’ve been stopped from spawning at all costs. Individuals with violent tendencies, mental illness, intellectual disability, drug addiction and heritable genetic illnesses should not be encouraged to bring children into this world. That’s the most socially irresponsible tripe I’ve ever heard. How much can you really care about kids if you’re encouraging everyone (and yes, ‘everyone’ includes murderous psychopaths, pedophiles and sadistic abusers) to become parents just because YOU enjoy it?

    Likewise, those of us who don’t want children should not be pressured into having them, as that will only lead to negative outcomes for the children.

    It seems us child-free folk are the only ones concerned about what’s best for the children. Ironic.

    1. Can I just say I love you!?
      And I don’t find it ironic really, most voluntarily childfree couple are so because they have taken time and thought it through and have made a decision that is right for them. They have not just made a baby because that’s what everyone else does. Being childfree is as much of a lifetime commitment as having children is. Both require some careful consideration.

    1. Unfortunately, your logic, which is valid, will be rendered moot by religion, which is moot. There is a whole lot of sound and fury over nothing. Viruses take a while to die.

  39. I’m really glad you included the line, “I have no problem with a couple’s decision to not have children if they do not desire.”

    But per your point #5, it’s BECAUSE I’m concerned for the future that I don’t want to have kids. I wouldn’t be able to put them through college, I wouldn’t be able to give them a world class education with how much our education system is continually being defunded and failing behind most other developed nations in the world. I’d be sending them off into a world where wages are stagnant while the cost of living rises and finding employment is harder then ever. I’d also be sending them into a world where corporate interests are louder and carry more weight than their own voices, and no matter how much they might care about not having an oil pipeline spill in their backyards, there will be next to nothing they can effectively do about it. I’d be sending my hypothetical daughters into a world where if they need medication for acne, painful cramps, ovarian cysts or endometriosis, their insurance may not be able to cover it if their employer chooses to play a ‘religion’ card against their personal health care (my hypothetical sons will have an okay time getting help with gaining an erection if they ever encounter problems with that, though). Additionally, my hypothetical children will only get health care if I am employed and they are 26 years of age or under, or if they are lucky to find employment, otherwise they’ll just have to be very, very careful never to get sick.

    I can take my childfree time doing what I can to work on these issues, though. I can donate to worthwhile charities, write to my representatives, attend protests, continue to be informed and continue to inform others.

    I’m as glad that you’re thrilled with your choice to have children as you are glad to allow others not to make that choice. I only ask that you not be so quick to judge childfree as inexperienced, selfish, delusional, or “missing out.” People who don’t create their own children can do a lot to improve the world, and they can also adopt a child that otherwise would never have known the joy of having a dedicated parent.

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  41. Oh, sure, it’s easy for you to say people should have kids when you’re not the one who has to go through the disgusting growing-and-expulsion part of growing the baby. Come back to me when you have a bigger part of making a baby than just an orgasm.

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  43. All the points seem unrealistic. My wife and I dont like kids and wondered if we should have like most people do. We focus on questions like if our kids would support us financially and look after us when we get old. Also I worried about we would be lonely if one of us go first (you get it right? And this is always the case). To me, babies are just like pets, only good if they are not yours. And teenage is the worst stage of your kids (drugs, rebellion) agree? And what if after spending so much money and time to raise them up, they leave their old parents behind and go overseas to live. what if any accidents happen to your kids? Heartbreaking event. Now these are realistic. You see, I gave the best to my wife, I dont want to split the love between her and the kids. At the end, we want to have our own life, not the life around the kids.

  44. I totally respect your opinion, and who knows, maybe when I find the right person to start a family, my ideas might change. I think people who really want kids should get them, on the other hand: people who aren’t sure, or are not yet where they want to be when they become parents shouldn’t.

    I actually read this because I thought maybe you would give me a reason to want kids, but that didn’t happen. I know that nobody can love someone as much as they can love their kids, so maybe I’ll never experience this kind of love, but I don’t feel like I’m missing out. Again: maybe that is because I just can’t find a great partner. But on the other hand, I already do n* 2,3 and 5. I eat healthy (most of the time), I work out 3 or 4 times a week and I care about the environment and making a change for your grandchildren 😉 I don’t need children to have that ambition. I also melt sometimes when I see some cute toddler doing something, but that doesn’t make me want to have one myself. Honestly: I don’t know how you do it: working, raising children, hobbys, time for yourself and your wife… I already seem to have a time deficit every day 🙂 so maybe that’s your n* 4

    So: respect for all of you parents out there, I know it hurts my grandmother that I don’t want children (I’m 27 in case you were wondering) but I just don’t see myself doing that right, so for the moment I will have to pass. And it hurts me when people don’t understand that choice, say I’m crazy for not wanting a kid and being content with my dog, so for me it’s good that it’s becoming acceptable 🙂 and that there are articles out there so not all people keep thinking that I’m weird 😉

  45. I have met with couples spiritual counselors and non has been able to help me with my family issue, My husband wants to bring in another woman and i can’t accept that, I have search for spell casters and non seem to be worthy in making my husband lose interest on that drastic idea. until I finally met this spell lady Priestess munak who i met through my younger sister. My sister said she has used her services before and it was real so i got her email priestessmunak@gmail.com and contacted her and she gave me her procedures making me understand in just few days after she is done with her spiritual work, my husband would apologize and never talk about that other woman, that they would go different ways. I gave her what she requested for to do the work and ever since then my life has went through a turning point and now I am singing a new tune family is even more united and my husband and I are so in perfect terms in loving each other more by the day all because of the spell this spell lady did, I am sure she can do same for you this I can guarantee that because my worked, my younger sister’s worked…..don’t give up yet, all it takes is just to have a communication with about your problems, then she can tell you what she can do for you. She told me she would made my husband listen to me with her powers and she did! i love this lady she is good in what she does.

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    1. Don’t rely on soothsayers, necromancers, witches and magicians and other agents of satan, but only on Jesus. I’m sorry but you need to repent of this and go to confession, and remove the address of the magician/witch too so that you do not compound this by leading others into sin. Your husband did wrong by being unfaithful but you have done something as bad engaging with the devil to sort it out rather than Jesus.
      maryclare

      1. i think what she means is-
        his wife is probably slaving away taking care of the children and taking care of all this other needs while he writes out mindless crap on the internet. I did wonder how much of this article the wife agreed with.

  47. Well then…… a lot of these comments are completely ridiculous and have nothing to do with the actual article, but it always entertaining to see how people pick fights behind the safety of their computers :p
    Anywho, I loved this article. I grew up in a big family and it was always a lot of fun. A big family that also traveled the country whenever we had a chance. By 14 I had been to 38 states and 3 countries. My parents were even bold enough to travel with me cross country when I was a few weeks old. My husband and I are following their lead and taking a 4 day trip in the car when our baby is about a month old. We’re nervous but excited!
    Children are wonderful, I can’t imagine why anyone would “hate them” but to each their own. As for me and my family, we plan on having 3 or 4 wonderful little mess makers.

    1. Good for you! We don’t need you to understand why we wouldn’t want them, all we childfree people ask is that breeders stop shoving their opinions and life experience down our throats! I could give you a million reasons why having children is a bad idea. When people ask me why I don’t want kids, and then proceed to tell me I don’t really know what I want because THEY happen to love their children… how is that okay? I’m glad you’re happy, but why can’t people just accept the fact that we are happy the way we are? Were you miserable before you had kids? I bet not! And if you were, I feel bad for you!

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  49. This has got to be the single worst article I have ever read. If women want to give up the ‘chance’ to have children in favour of travel, a career or other, it has nothing to do with you. Also none of these reasons actually have much to do with children, your diet, muscles and flexibility? What stupid comments. It’s much easier to simply maintain a healthy diet and exercise and if you’re having children for flexibility, muscle and a better diet then you’re really choosing the wrong reasons to have children.

    When I read the last reason I understood it all. You’re religious. AWESOME. People who don’t want children generally look down on those who do because generally the people who breed (and breed and breed and breed) are the sort of people who really shouldn’t be passing on their genes. You say you don’t want to insult anyone who doesn’t want children, however you chose to write this moronic article defending your pathetic desire to validate your life. Arguing with a religious/stupid person is pointless, I don’t know why I’m even bothering to write this. Idiots are just going to shit all over facts and reason saying “clever” things like “babies make yourself more flexible”.

    There is no heaven. You’re a potato. Please don’t continue to fucking breed.

    1. ‘There is no heaven. You’re a potato. Please don’t continue to fucking breed.’ As cruel as this might sound, I can’t help but feel it is warranted.

  50. I disagree. Having children just makes you more of a wage slave for which there is no escape. Unless I was already worth 5-10 million I would not consider it. My #1 goal is to retire early. Can’t do that with children.

  51. My wife left me after 6 years of marriage – relationship over 10 years. 2 kids. Some days I actually regret meeting her. Or going back to her after those break ups. Or just going back to her that one last time. I love my kids, but who sits down in highschool and thinks “Wow, I could be a divorced middle-aged dad of two one day!”, suddenly alone and caught between a desire for partnership and a desire to blast dear-old cupid out of the sky with a double-barreled 12 gauge goose gun. I freely admitted my wrongdoings, my failings, my bad habits – but I fought like h3ll to save our marriage, long after she “fell out of love” with me….(stopped loving me?). Anyways, I think that marriage vows today (for so many people) just mean “Look, I want you to commit to me while I WANT this relationship but the second I want out, all bets are off!”. Hmmmm. How more meaningless can the word ‘vow’ be then? And why can’t I even begin letting go of this person who left me (despite leaving emotionally years ago) when the loudness of her absence in my life is so deafening? How can I miss someone who decided to stop loving me but stuck around for a few years until they were established enough to go it alone?

  52. I feel like this is more of a “personal reflection on what I got out of parenting” than it is “reasons to have kids” because if the concept of self-sacrificing love in #6 if a foreign concept to them, that means they weren’t practicing that with their spouse already and I would suggest they not have kids yet. That isn’t a reason to have kids, it’s a prerequisite. #2-#4 are not reasons to have kids, they’re barely perks. And, if this article had either title, I think it’s shallow, because they’re all “what having kids can do for YOU” when it’s not about you, and if the main reason you want kids because of what they can do for you, don’t have kids. I understand that the responsibility of raising children can help a man mature, but I don’t believe it, specifically because the man giving the reasons to have kids lists them all as benefits to the parents.

  53. Hello,

    I would like to respectfully reply to your post, however I can understand if some of my commentary may seem biting.

    I am a man who has no intention of having children. It may also be relevant to state that we have different religious ideologies, mine being closer to something between Atheism and Buddhism. I appreciate the opinion you have put forth and will respond as follows.

    Most of the points you have made:

    1. Kids change your perspective on the world
    2. Children can regulate your diet well
    3. Children build your muscles
    4. Babies make you more flexible
    5. Your own children make you concerned for the future

    These points above can be addressed by simply doing what is required to achieve those goals. Children are not required to do any of the above things. Children, in this case are a preference of yours in your method to achieve these goals. In my opinion you are using children as a method of self-control, which, to me is a sign of bad parenting.

    Why?

    Because the level of self-control you should have in order to be a good parent would prevent you from seeing difficulty in executing any of the actions involved in achieving your goals mentioned above.

    It would be a sad state of affairs if your child read this article in the future and correlated having children as a method to establish good self-control principles. Is this how you would like your children to learn discipline?

    As for this one…

    6. Kids make you happier.

    I am childless and choose to remain that way. I am very happy, I promise you. I feel fulfillment in my life in many ways. I satisfy my nurturing instincts simply by being kind to those who I can be kind to.

    I also resent the idea of having children in order to enrich yourself or make yourself happier. The purpose of having children in my eyes is to enrich the world itself and create a more compassionate future for humanity with less suffering. Due to our difference in base ideologies I think we may define this purpose differently.

    I am more concerned with over population than populating the world.

    Your last comment is an example theme of your entire conversation which you seem to assume that what is good for you is good for everyone else.

    “I’m sure your parents would say the same.”

    Except they wouldn’t. I was raised by an abused mother and an extremely abusive father. My father believed children to be little more of a curse and had none of the reactions you have had to parenthood. So having children does not always bring you the peace and happiness you would like it to… so it is unfair to expect this out of them.

    That is reality. You could say that perhaps there are other factors that influenced my history, but it is there none the less.

    In the end, realize that what is applicable to you may not be applicable to all humanity. Realize that there are multiple ways to achieve happiness for everyone, and that this is not a bad thing (in my opinion).

    I wish you well.

  54. Yeah that’s awesome for conceded selfish self important jerk offs who treat their kids like property and care more about how they feel than actually raising a living, important, being with their own thoughts and feelings. Like the would-be “parents” for example. Yeah. Every piece of shit should have kids. Fuck the kids though, as long as you get your bullshit fix.

    1. Sadly this is more normal than people think, especially with the religious. Their children are like furniture to serve to validate their own worth as human beings.

  55. Not having children will keep your sex life. Buddy how many times are you and your wife doing it now with the children. Ya I thought so. Let the couples alone who do not want to have children they will have a better life. not a sexless marrage.

  56. I wanted to be a wife and have children. I prayed and prayed for this. However, I’m turning 40 this year, I’m still a virgin, and have gone through menopause. According to Mr. BurDICK, I’m useless. I’ve been lost and waiting for a sign from God that my life has meaning. Instead, HE directed me to Mr. BurDICK’s article. I am taking my life tonight. Thank you, TJ, for giving me this final push.

    1. Natasha, God’s plans are not always our plans. Your life is too precious and your soul is more valuable than your body…and that is worth fighting for! Do as our Blessed Mother Mary said, “I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word”. Please don’t do it.

    2. I ‘liked’ your comment, not because you said you were going to take your life but because in saying all this you point out what’s fundamentally wrong with this article and the viewpoint expressed. It is literally condemning people who don’t or can’t have children as being wrong, lesser human beings.

      It might be pointless for you to read the rest of this comment since you seem to understand this already.

      Notice how the article ‘having it all without children’ is actually quite neutral about having children or not having children… It’s just saying you can have fulfillment in life with or without children. To say that EVERYBODY should have children seems a blind statement. There are pros and cons to having children and if some people don’t then IMO that’s just the way things are

  57. I’ve never had a desire to have kids. I would be extremely depressed if I had kids. I just wouldn’t feel like myself. I would have missed out on so much if I had kids and wouldn’t be enjoying life.

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  61. Have you fucking gone to heaven? How do you have any idea that anything you say is true outside of your own personal experience. Btw, I’m God. You’re a dumbass and you’re going to hell.

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  63. This is by far the stupidest thing I’ve ever read.

    What you are basically saying is that you had no feeling of being connected to humanity, no political consciousness, no fitness regime, no flexibility, and a bad workout regime before you had children.

    Does this mean that someone who has all of those doesn’t need to have children?

    I worked in humanitarian aid before I had children and lived a life of sacrifice. So I don’t need to have kids? I gained more doing a simple weight regime than I ever gained with kids–should I give the kids away? I’ve always been flexible. Can I adopt my kids out? I was raised eating healthy and I’ve eaten a conscious diet (organic, local, minimal meat) since I left my mom’s house. I guess I shouldn’t have had kids because I was able to take care of personal nutrition, not only in college, but even living abroad in countries even poorer than Mexico.

    Your kids are selfish but your taking care of them isn’t unselfish. They’re your own genes!!! It’s a totally selfish project! What would be unselfish and sacrificial would be if you did all of that for people you hardly knew. The mind boggles… you think taking care of your own kids is a sacrifice or something that made you a better person. That’s the bare minimum of human decency, pal. Taking care of your own genetic material which YOU propagated.

  64. thanks you Ekaka me and my ex have finally agreed to get married next
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  65. It truly warms my heart and gives me hope to know that articles like this get so much negative attention.

  66. Why does it bother you so much that people would choose to do what they want with their life besides having children? This planet doesn’t need any more humans on it. Children are not the best thing in the world. I’m happy I’ve decided to never have kids.

      1. He’s probably shocked and probably didn’t know that not wanting children was so prevalent in today’s society… he probably thought he was going to get a bunch of people patting him on the back and cheering his name as a hero for baby-making.

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  68. “The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament.”84

    I. MARRIAGE IN GOD’S PLAN

    1602 Sacred Scripture begins with the creation of man and woman in the image and likeness of God and concludes with a vision of “the wedding-feast of the Lamb.”85 Scripture speaks throughout of marriage and its “mystery,” its institution and the meaning God has given it, its origin and its end, its various realizations throughout the history of salvation, the difficulties arising from sin and its renewal “in the Lord” in the New Covenant of Christ and the Church.86

    Marriage in the order of creation

    1603 “The intimate community of life and love which constitutes the married state has been established by the Creator and endowed by him with its own proper laws. . . . God himself is the author of marriage.”87 The vocation to marriage is written in the very nature of man and woman as they came from the hand of the Creator. Marriage is not a purely human institution despite the many variations it may have undergone through the centuries in different cultures, social structures, and spiritual attitudes. These differences should not cause us to forget its common and permanent characteristics. Although the dignity of this institution is not transparent everywhere with the same clarity,88 some sense of the greatness of the matrimonial union exists in all cultures. “The well-being of the individual person and of both human and Christian society is closely bound up with the healthy state of conjugal and family life.”89

    1604 God who created man out of love also calls him to love the fundamental and innate vocation of every human being. For man is created in the image and likeness of God who is himself love.90Since God created him man and woman, their mutual love becomes an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God loves man. It is good, very good, in the Creator’s eyes. And this love which God blesses is intended to be fruitful and to be realized in the common work of watching over creation: “And God blessed them, and God said to them: ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it.'”91

    1605 Holy Scripture affirms that man and woman were created for one another: “It is not good that the man should be alone.”92 The woman, “flesh of his flesh,” his equal, his nearest in all things, is given to him by God as a “helpmate”; she thus represents God from whom comes our help.93 “Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh.”94The Lord himself shows that this signifies an unbreakable union of their two lives by recalling what the plan of the Creator had been “in the beginning”: “So they are no longer two, but one flesh.”95

    1606 Every man experiences evil around him and within himself. This experience makes itself felt in the relationships between man and woman. Their union has always been threatened by discord, a spirit of domination, infidelity, jealousy, and conflicts that can escalate into hatred and separation. This disorder can manifest itself more or less acutely, and can be more or less overcome according to the circumstances of cultures, eras, and individuals, but it does seem to have a universal character.

    1607 According to faith the disorder we notice so painfully does not stem from the nature of man and woman, nor from the nature of their relations, but from sin. As a break with God, the first sin had for its first consequence the rupture of the original communion between man and woman. Their relations were distorted by mutual recriminations;96 their mutual attraction, the Creator’s own gift, changed into a relationship of domination and lust;97 and the beautiful vocation of man and woman to be fruitful, multiply, and subdue the earth was burdened by the pain of childbirth and the toil of work.98

    1608 Nevertheless, the order of creation persists, though seriously disturbed. To heal the wounds of sin, man and woman need the help of the grace that God in his infinite mercy never refuses them.99 Without his help man and woman cannot achieve the union of their lives for which God created them “in the beginning.”

    Marriage under the pedagogy of the Law

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  70. Panagiotis Sourtzinos

    Let’s start one by one the points that you mention:
    1) Kids change your perspective on the world.

    Well will you agree with me that the child didn’t change your perspective to the world. You changed your perspective to the world. So all the child did, was to be the stimuli for that change. Thus you always had the capacity of changing your perspective but you were so blind to see things otherwise that you had to be slapped in the face. Read more philosophy books, evaluate your morals and you do not need any baby for that.

    2) Children can regulate your diet well.

    Again, same as above. You were never aware of what you were eating and how this affects your diet, so ulala the baby made you aware. So once more you were blind and ignorant.

    3) Children build your muscles

    One line. Go to the gym.

    4) Babies make you more flexible

    Again this has to do with your inner resistance and your ego. Being a slave on your desires and incapable of letting go and change. So the baby just force you to start changing. This is something that if you were aware of your self you would have done it as well.

    5) Your own children make you concerned for the future

    So before having a child you were an idiot. Dont jump into conclusions, the word idiot comes from Greek, idiotis, which means a person who looks only his own affairs without caring about the rest of the society. So you are telling me that before you had a child you didn’t give a damn about the world. And again the baby make you see that. so you made a child, number lets say 7 billion and something in this finite world and you want the best for your little angel? Is like the cheating husband who suddenly becomes moral and against cheating for the sake of the marriage.

    6) Kids make you happier

    No kids doesnt make you happier, kids just bring the happiness that you have inside you out. If you were so blind to see that all the happiness in the world is inside you that is another issue. Children are innocent and naive, children are not having an agenda, and the enjoy the very small things in life. You do not need a child to realise that beauty in life comes in every moment of it, no matter where you are and what you are doing. Open your eyes, wake up.

    We are living in a finite world, stop producing babies like candies. Society must change if we want the human race to survive. Your baby doesn’t belong to you, like you do not belong to your mother. When people realize the false in the human emotions and cravings, they will see that only few babies must be born. Babies are not a self-improvement product. Wake up people!!!!

    1. elegantly stated, and a month after posting your comment there is still no sensible response against it

  71. This article will be more appropriately named ‘Religious nut explains why having kids is a bad idea!’ What I got from this article is, having kids- stops one being able to travel the world and have ambitions and dreams and any hope of success; one doesn’t have time to workout any more; makes one sleep deprived, and stops from having a planned organised home or life or even some me time and couple time; and makes one stress out far too much.
    Right, thanks for confirming my decision to not make any. Not like this overpopulated world (that you are so concerned about) need them.
    Best thing about this article? Link to the original article ‘Having it all without having children.’ Now that was a clever interesting read.

    1. It just amazes how people such as JT criticize people like us (those whom chose not to have children). I had no idea that I didn’t have a choice in the matter! (sarcasm here)

      It is such a double standard. So now I should have a child even though I don’t want one. I am not entitled to my happiness and yet they are!

      I am selfish but so are they. I doubt it is out of a sense of duty or unselfishness they decided to have children.
      We should be allowed to choose to live the lives that suits our best without judgement.

      P.S. Spot on on that last statement!

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  73. Terrible arguments. I am never having children and proud of it. The world is over populated which only gives me another exuse not to be financially and mentally burdened with some little snotty life/money sucker.

  74. I LOVE THIS!!! Thank YOU so much! I LOVE my kids, and never knew that I wanted them until I was expecting one of them. After my first I thought, nope, no more, but something inside of me was telling me that there were little kids left in my future, and I threw in the towel. I am so MUCH MORE ORGANIZED, ENVIRONMENTALLY CONSCIENTIOUS, FRIENDLY, UNDERSTANDING, BALANCED, DEVOUT IN MY FAITH, etc. etc. etc. now that I am a parent. And what’s more, I’m not a cog in the wheel, I am a human being. That’s what I want for everyone else, whether or not they have kids (though, it’s the natural thing to do, and no the world is not overpopulated, in fact, our society may collapse because of population decline, but that’s a different story…). I know too many people who are unhappy because they either never had kids or are an only child. I know lots of people who feel messed up because of their parents and sibling relationships too, but the point is that “not having kids” doesn’t make your life better if all you’re going to do is shell out more of yourself to your career. Take a good look around you, you only have this one chance to live. When you make decisions, realize that you may be an old and lonely person one day with regrets. Too many young people act like they’re so brave by thinking they won’t live past 35, but the truth is that everyone wonders about the life they never had. I don’t wonder, I’m get scared on occasion that I’ll wake up the way I was 10 years ago and will have to scramble to figure out how I’m going to get my husband and kids back. Every moment I’m with them, I feel like I already miss them because I have no idea what the future holds!! If you choose not to have kids, I hope you have a DARN good reason, because they are THE BEST THING (BESIDES YAHWEH) that I have in my life (and my husband is a close second after the kids or near equal) and my heart leaps inside me knowing that I didn’t even choose them, they just happened. What if I had gotten my way? The agony!

    1. You should not be so judgmental on those that choose not to have children. They have their reasons just like you have yours for having children.

      And I really like how you say “If you chose not to have kids, I hope you have a DARN good reason because they are the BEST THING.”

      Number one – no one – and I mean NO ONE should have to justify their reasons for having or not having children because it is a PERSONAL CHOICE. It is not an obligation to have children.

      Number two – those whom have chosen to remain childless probably have very good reasons. This can range from simply they do not feel the desire to do so to a medical condition that they may not want to pass on to their child.

      1. It is natural to have children. Only among humans would anyone imagine that it is a choice. Among all other animals, it is not a choice. So, if you actively seek to avoid procreating (the natural way of things), then you are making a decision. It is foolish not to have a “DARN” good reason for not having children. I am not judging anyone; no one owes their reasoning to me but to their selves because that is who will be directly affected by not having kids. There are a lot of people who circumstantially do not have children – they may intend to but never find a partner or cannot conceive. Do you think that’s a “DARN” good reason? Obviously. It’s not just a flippant attitude toward the importance of children. In those situations, there is no choice to be made, it just doesn’t happen. That’s my point. Children are SO important. Anyone who sees having children as a choice (or something to avoid) should, for their own selves, have a good reason. I am sorry that my enthusiastic writing has offended you. My point still remains.

      2. For most it does come naturally simply because they have the desire to do so. And for animals it is not a choice because they don’t have the ability to think like we do.

        And you are right that there are those who do not get to make that choice and that’s sad.

        For the others that make that choice of not having children can do so because they do not feel what society calls “maternal instinct” so strongly.
        And there are those that do but have decided that they do not want to bring a child into the world for a reason.

        Personally I feel that it is not something that should be taken lightly. You will be taking care of a human being. This is a life changing event and it is a big responsibility. This is someone you have to care for. This is someone whom will be looking up to you and whom will be shaped by your opinions and how you react to the world and people.

        Yes they are important and they are the future generation but some people are just not fit to be a parent.

      3. You ARE being judgemental. Your comment alone of “darn good reason” speaks to this because frankly no one owes you a “reason” for their decision not to have children. Would you like it if someone demanded repeatedly why you had kids?

        For some their careers and freedoms are what makes them happy in place of kids and not everyone is cut out to be a parent. nor do they have the patience to deal with the job of parenting, even if they have the finances to do so. It’s better for a woman to not have kids than to just to “please society”, only to resent them and mistreat them. Because, they didn’t want them in the first place but were pressured to do so (to please the likes of you and the simp who wrote this article). I’ve seen it in my family.

        Obviously having children worked for YOU. It doesn’t mean they will bring joy to the lady next to you. You (and this author) need to think before making such asinine comments regarding the childless (or childfree). Many who chose the latter route owe no one a “reason”. So leave what is a personal decision that personally doesn’t concern you to THEM.

      4. I don’t think there’s anything I can say to make you feel better about my response to this article. America is facing the very real possibility of population decline, and that is something that many people cannot comprehend given the millions of people living here. The trending opinion, then, is that people should NOT have kids, or at least not have too many. Almost 20% of people aged 40-44 have no children, compared to half that almost 30 years ago. I am not the person requesting a white pride holiday just to poke and prod at minorities. I am the person with a very real fear for individuals being fed a discourse about parenting by mainstream society that gives them the illusion that life can be wonderful without children. I am the person who believed I did not want children, and ended up having one and realized how sorry my life would be without them. There’s a reason why movies like “It’s a Wonderful Life,” strike a cord. And there’s a reason why parents all over the place (many of them at least) want to shout from the rooftop “KIDS ARE AMAZING!!!” Children have meaning and they are really valuable and they add quality of life. It is silly and it is selfish to pretend that we were all not once children. It is vanity to believe that you can be happy without people. Would you choose not to have parents? Not to have siblings? Not to have friends? No one thinks of those things as a choice. Most people accept that family and friends make life worth living even when you don’t have a fancy career or a lot of money, and you don’t get to pick and choose the people that come into your life. Children certainly are a part of that process as much as the sun rises in the morning and moon comes out at night. Every single person you see around you today was once a baby, once a child, an adolescent, a teen, a young adult and so on. I am not judging anyone. I am judging a trending cultural opinion. And I will not be the person who zips my lips and doesn’t let the unsuspecting millions of young adults who don’t understand the beauty of parenting choose not to have children because that’s what everyone else is doing. That is just sad.

        But I could also point out to you that my opinion and response to this article “personally doesn’t concern you.” I don’t say that to be nasty. I say that to point out in your own words that while you could have shared your views without attacking (or, not so much attacking, but almost) mine, you chose to be judgmental toward me – something you did not want me to do to people who choose not to have kids. I find that ironic, or maybe hypocritical is a better word?

        I believe and choose to represent to others that having children is a quality part of the life cycle. It is not like choosing or not choosing to go to prom.

        And do not misinterpret my words or my meaning to say that I find fault with anyone who either cannot or does not have their own natural or adopted children.

        And yes, as a young mother of three, I do face a lot of criticisms and questions regarding my decision to have children. Even though my husband and I were married when we had our first, my MIL angrily asked us if we didn’t know how to use protection. When I called my mom so that I could vent on a bad day with the two kids and pregnant with the third she asked me, “Are you sure you want to have more?” And so on and so forth. There are people out there in the world who want to require parents to take a class “before they can have kids.” And who believe “stupid people should get fixed.” Don’t fool yourself into believing that people who don’t want to have kids are the oppressed minority.

      5. And if you notice someone named Alana below, she gives a very stark example of someone who clearly doesn’t want to have children. I am sure that people exist like that in any society, but to have the numbers of people who don’t want kids to GROW…that’s different. A hundred years ago, I would be the person listening to Alana and saying, “Not everyone has to have kids. It’s not meant for everyone.” Today, with the growing trend for people not to have kids, I am the person saying, “Hey, kids are fabulous. I think you’re making a mistake,” not to Alana but to countless others who do not represent a unique personality or situation. The majority of people should have kids. Sorry if that offends you.

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  78. So…six narcissistic reasons to have children? None of the items on this list require having children to accomplish.

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  81. As glad as I am with your success in having kids… I would just like to point out that not everyone agrees with you and not everyone gets a life like yours. What just happens to work well with you may be utterly chaotic and devastating for another. Yes, there are some positive points but let’s face it most would value the current freedom and stability they have and would rather avoid the need of being flexible.

  82. I and my boy friend as been separated for a long period, I cam across different spell caster and they were all unable to bring my lover back. I was so sad and almost gave up on him when i met a spell man called DR OLOKUM, who helped me get my lover back. Ever since then i have been so happy and couldnt believe it would happen. He also helped me with success spell, I have been living happily with my lover now and will be getting married soon. Here is his contact if you need his help. LAVENDERLOVESPELL@YAHOO.COM

  83. Hello my friend trying and read this testimony how this great man help me to get back my wife, my wife left me because we had a little quarrel i try to pleading to her but she did not listing to me she left me with my son,and my son love is mother so he keep asking me to call back is mother,i try to call her back but she will say that she is not going to come back me my son will try and talk to her but she will say that she is not going to come back so i did not know what to do so one day i see my friend name Anthony who told me that he is happy with is wife that how is my friend i was sad the way i ask him he now ask me what is the problem,i now told him he now told me to smile that my problem is solve that dr ukpoyan will help me to get back my wife so he now call him,dr ukpoyan told me that my lover is going to come back to me he now told me to call him letter that he should do some prayer, after some minutes he now call me and told me that my lover is going to came back with 10hours he now told me that i should go home and wait for her that i should cook for her so i now went home do as he ask me to do it,in the next 9 hour i had a knock on my door when i open my door i found out that it was my wife she was smile to me that she is back home my son was happy and today i want to tell others about this great man who can help then with there problem thanks to dr ukpoyan for help me you can email him on is email (dr.ukpoyanspellhome@gmail.com)

  84. My Name is Mellisa Hannah,I never believed in Love Spells or Magics until I met this special spell caster once when i went to Africa to Execute some business..He is really powerful.The woman i wanted to marry left me 1 weeks to our weeding ceremony and my life was upside down.she was with me for 7 years and i really love her so much..she left me for another man with no reason..when i called her she never picked up my calls and she don’t want to see me around her…so,when i told the man what happened.he helped me to do some readings,and after the readings he made me to realize that the other man has done some spells over my wife and that is the reason why she left me..he told me he will help me to cast a spell that bring her back.At first i was skeptical but i just gave it a try…In 2 days,she called me herself and came to me apologizing..I cant believe she can ever come back to me again but now i am happy she’s back and we are married now with lovely kid and we live as a happy family..Am posting this to the forum incise anyone needs the man.His email address is dr.ukpoyanspellhome@gmail.com

  85. ferguson gilbert

    i am a happy man today because of what Dr Eziza did for me. two years ago my lover broke up with me without any good reason, at first i felt depressed and dont know what to do. on this lucky day was going through the internet i saw testimonies of Dr Eziza i contacted him and he also helped me incase you need solution to your problems contact him on ezizaoguntemple@gmail.com or call +2348058176289

  86. I’m not here to devalue anyone’s opinion on kids or to devalue someone’s family, but before having a kid one must consider the impact that the kid will have on everyone outside of their family and on the planet. Man reproduces, but land does not. We have finite resources here, and it is a statistical fact that the most crowded places on Earth are also the places with the lowest rankings on Quality of Life indexes.

    Where are you the least happy? Chances are, it’s in a traffic jam, in an interminably long line at the DMV or somewhere similar. It is easy to translate these common experiences into the fairly widely accepted reality that population and happiness have an inverse relationship. The more people there are, the less happiness each one can have. And it is plainly nonsensical to do anything such as recycle or drive a hybrid car if you have children, since, no matter your carbon footprint, you have essentially doubled that footprint by reproducing.

    1. Actually, not having children has an impact on the planet. You can look this up anywhere, but soon the USA will be facing population decline. It’s not quite there yet, but it’s already happening to Westernized European countries.

      Essentially, every adult should have two children – one to replace themselves and one to replace their partner. Currently, almost 20% of people aged 40-44 are childless. What does this mean? It means that the other 80% of the population has to bear the brunt of child rearing. Therefore, if every 1 out of 5 people has no children, then every 2 out of 5 must have three. This is what it takes to keep the population stable and does not take into account the number of people who only have one children. In the U.K. 50% of people have only one child, meaning that we should thank our lucky stars for the brave souls who conquer their “flocks” (to pick fun at the posters below) of children and produce quality human beings who care about the environment.

      Now, you mentioned being unhappy in the DMV line, but what if there were no DMV because there weren’t enough people around to work at one? I suppose if there weren’t enough people to work at a DMV, there might not be a lot of traffic. But if there’s not a lot of traffic, then that means that there aren’t a lot of drivers. If there aren’t a lot of drivers, there aren’t as many trucks. Without as many trucks, you can kiss your overnight shipping goodbye. Or how about the fresh produce you get from the grocery store that comes in daily off of a truck? Or how about the the medicine that gets delivered to the pharmacy daily – isn’t the statistic something like the average American takes three forms of medication?

      I’m not saying the world we live in is perfect. I’m not saying it’s not crowded. But as people stop reproducing, human lives will become human capital, and that is sick and sad. The economy serves to support human life and not human life to support the economy, but they kind of work hand-in-hand.

      One day, there will be 10 young adults supporting 100 aging adults, now does that make sense to you? Doesn’t it make sense not to create this false conversational piece about how over crowded the world is? Everyone who chooses not to have kids is depending on the fact that other people DO have children who will go on to exist and support the world we currently live in that you enjoy.

      I’d like you to do a visualization exercise. Imagine that 50% of people on earth are suddenly gone. Where do you make the cuts? Who do you cut? From the people who are janitors to the people who are farmers, the people who are plumbers and the people who are doctors and professor…we all have a role in society and it is valued. Would you get rid of the very small percentage of movie stars (remember, then you don’t get to watch quality films!) in order to keep and fund garbage collection? I would say that the things you enjoy in society are BECAUSE of the population and not in spite of the population. Though, the DMV is particularly NOT pleasant!!!

      I don’t say that to be rude. I sincerely hope that everyone can get the best out of this situation. People who value large families can have them and feel honored and treasured because we are producing the future that you will hopefully get to enjoy. People who don’t want to have children can be respected too.

      Remember, machines do not innovate. Machines do not solve problems. Humans do. Machines are only as capable as the humans who made them.

      Anyway, it’s such a gigantic misconception that the population is out of control. We NEED humans to solve the problem of resource depletion, and we have to acknowledge that there will be a complete breakdown of society and ultimate extinction of our species if we do not reproduce.

      Look up some articles, they’re all over the web and very accredited. I promise you, the population growth is slowing drastically. Even in Turkey, the prime minister begged the women to have at least three children so that their country could remain competitive in a global market, and unfortunately, his talks had the opposite effect! It’s happening all over the place and is only growing in select countries.

      1. “We NEED humans to solve the problem of resource depletion”
        There is no problem of resource depletion when fewer resources are needed.

      2. No problem? Ha! Of course there are issues with resource depletion even with fewer people. Some resources are supposedly non-renewable. How do you account for that? How many people do you know have no children and share a two-bedroom house with another couple? Or how about even sharing a three-bedroom house? No? No one? And yet, we see families with five children living in three and four bedroom homes. That is much more energy efficient than every single person or couple living in their own house or apartment. I tell you that the most energy efficient people in our nation ARE big families because they have to be. We recycle clothes without even driving them to Goodwill. Now THAT is energy efficient!

      3. I’m not. I’m devising ways to reduce the carbon footprint of people who do exist…like the 20% of 40-44 year olds who don’t have children and DON’T live as energy efficiently as families with children because most of those same people without children will still occupy their own homes and don’t share transportation, appliances, etc among more people. (Have you ever heard of those pesky 20 year olds who move back in with their parents?)

        There’s nothing “new” about children, they are as constant as the air we breathe and the way that water cycles through and around our environment. It’s only when we started turning trees (and other resources) into a commodity that we realized air has the potential not to be constant, and has now become threatened (again, among other resources).

        Over using resources has led to resource depletion. Unfortunately, population growth and resource depletion are deeply correlated, but we know that there are many societies that do and have existed for centuries without depleting the environment of resources.

        They may not have had modern healthcare or televisions, and because of that I think your best case scenario in the debate about resource issues is to get rid of your competition because what you value is not human life but McDonald’s, air conditioning, and light bulbs. And you realize that if Americans “downsized” to the point where resources are no longer threatened, your life would change completely. This would be enough to solve the resource problem, but you don’t want to accept that.

        Not to mention that the alternative is completely flawed: If the world’s population got smaller, the services and goods that you enjoy would still have to be manufactured. What about all of the sweat shop people working for pennies so that you can manage to afford clothes and cable? What then? There wouldn’t be enough people to support your lifestyle UNLESS technology was advanced enough that machines could do everything…hm…who is going to invent that precious technology? And how are those machines going to get manufactured without using resources??? It sounds like the futuristic model that you want to live in will be completely dependent on scare resources and you traded human lives to get there.

        Does that make any sense???

        The problem with resource depletion is the people who ALREADY exist. I don’t have to make them up, and I don’t have to kill them off to solve any problems, just like people don’t have to stop having babies so that you can drive a car. The key to not using the worlds’ resources up is to stop using the resources.

        No one should weigh having children against the worlds’ resource issues for the sake of others…I don’t see anyone giving up their 2,000 sqft homes (not many) or their cars or their dry cleaning. Don’t trade your potential children to be “comfortable.” The greatest people the world has ever known did not get raised in America’s prosperity, nor as robots with no parents or siblings, and they did not grow up to do great things like killing off millions of people…unless you think Hitler was great.

        If you don’t believe that ingenuity can solve problems, then you don’t deserve to enjoy the life you know and hold so dear. Do you enjoy your life? Look around you, what do you see? People! The resource issue might be about to make your precious lifestyle vaporize and you might not know what to do with yourself, but that is not about people. It’s about greed and convenience.

        And P.S. there is no problem with population anymore…that is to say, the growth is slowing down and soon the population will shrink. This is because all of the fabulous people who think like you. Well, great! Let the people who want to have children have as many children as they can. Heaven knows that it’s the people who can’t “afford” children who are raising children for the rest of you people who hoard all of your wealth and then enjoy the luxury that living in a society full of PEOPLE provides. But we don’t point our fingers at you and tell you to think about the costs you’re causing the us “child-raisers” to shoulder. And why not? Because we love our kids, and we’re not stupid, and you can’t just feed us french fries to keep us in our cubicle all day and hook us up to a computer to charge when we get home at night. THAT is not quality of life.

      4. I’m sorry, don’t take that as a personal offense when I say “you.” I get so excited to have these discussions that I’m sure I say things in a very rude sounding way, and unless I edit what I write for hours, then it will come out sounding disrespectful.

      5. “I’m devising ways to reduce the carbon footprint of people who do exist…like the 20% of 40-44 year olds who don’t have children and DON’T live as energy efficiently as families with children”

        I’m trying to put this as simply as possible. it doesn’t matter how much recycling or bicycling or solar-paneling I do, none of those measures would save the amount of carbon footprint that I would save by simply not reproducing. however efficient I am in terms of environmentally-sound living, I am automatically doubling my carbon footprint by having one child.

        you mentioned many times that if the population shrinks, I won’t have the “goods and services” or “lifestyle” that I want. the entire point is that goods, services, and comfortable lifestyles are less accessible as the population increases. every time another person is born, that is one less available spot in a competitive college, one less open job position, one less parking spot, one less glass of fresh water, one less vaccine, one less plot of land on which to live, etcetera. like I said at the very beginning, it is a statistical fact that the most crowded places on Earth are also the places with the lowest rankings on Quality of Life indexes. it is not hard to understand that as the number of people goes up, each one receives less.

  87. What a stupefying article.

    If you didnt ALREADY have a proper mature, perspective of the world, if you arent taking care of your body, healthy diet and all, if you arent cautious and serious about your future, if you arent flexible and tolerant, you shouldnt have kids at all in the first place.

    It seems, you didnt go through the maturing process you needed to have done as an adult right after your early youth, and instead had it through having a child.

    Children are not a means to maturity. Maturity should be there without children.

  88. What will it take the whole world to know of the great and powerful prophet called AKHIDE, He has helped many people the whole world many people came from different countries to see him for solutions, including me, I based in in UK because of my illness i travelled down from UK to bini republic to see him for cure and it did take him an twinkle of eye to heal me because I was able to provide all the requirements needed for the cure, and I am now happy that I am now +1 this year, and how which I did met this dr testimony on net I would have been in my grave and joined my ancestors today….thanks to dr akhide for his cure and his mercies he show to me… emailed prophet AKHIDE ON PROPHETAKHIDESOLUTIONTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM

  89. Thanks to prophet AKHIDE for his curing of my breast cancer and herpes which my dr told me that I will stay more than 3 months again, my heart was in pains and tears when my dr told me that I will die very soon, a friend of my in my working place told me about PROPHET AKHIDE, and I emailed him and told me that I only have to buy the items needed to cast the curing spell on me and it will cost me the sum of $500 dollars only which I instructed my first son to send the money to him and when he received the money he called me that I should give him 2hrs for the consultations and which I did, in three hours time he called me and told me that I have been cured already that I should go to hospital for check-up which I did and I found that I was negative….emailed the prophet today for more help also on PROPHETAKHIDESOLUTIONTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM

  90. Hello I want to share a wonderful testimonies about prophet AKHIDE, is a powerful man, he has been a spell caster for the past forty-seven years (47) now, he has helped many people in the whole universe, even the scientists has known the man and published his name both on newspaper and on net, a friend of my in south-Africa told me that there is cure to HIV/AIDSs disease, she said that a man called DR AKHIDE, he is a prophet, and he is from Benin, Edo-Lagos… he has been helping many people and that the same prophet cured her… so I decided to take the DR address from her, and when I contacted him, I called him and wanted to share my pains with him, when I was about to start, he told me that he has already saw me on his temple before I called her, that I am suffering from the deadly disease of HIV for the past 3yrs now, which I told him that he was right, he told me that working with he alone will set me free if only I can have the faith and trust on him, that his gods is going to get me cured between 48hours..so I ask him what should I have to do now, he told me that there are some requirements that is needed to cast the curing spell on me and when these items is provided that he is going to get me cured…then I ask him, what are the items and how can I get them, he told me that there is a items seller here is in own country here in BINI but it is going to cost me the sum of two hundreds dollars only ($200) which I sent to him and he called me an hour later and told me that I should get a bucket of water and mixed it with a red chalk and salt and bath with it and after that I should go to hospital for check-up, which I did according to his commands, surprisingly I found that I was HIV negative….i called him and thanks him for the marvelous work he has done in my life…and I ask him what will I do for him as a gift of thanks, he said he need nothing that he is not after my money that I should only share testimonies about him so that people can contact him also for help because that is the work his spiritual father sent him to do on this earth not any other thing…so that’s why I am here now to share the marvelous testimony about prophet AKHIDE..emailed him today at PROPHETAKHIDESOLUTIONTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM from MRS joy from Italy…..

  91. IF YOU NEED A REAL SPELL CASTER PLEASE
    CONTACT DR AGBOGU HE IS A GREAT MAN
    He brought back my ex within 24 hrs when
    others failed just using this post as a
    testimony and to tell people that there are
    still Real spell caster out there .
    if you need his help in any way be it LOVE
    SPELL …HIV/AID,LOST WEIGHT,MAGIC
    SPELL,MONEY SPELL,SPELL TO PROTECT
    YOURSELVES FROM DANGERS,SAME/SEX LOVE
    SPELL,HOW TO GET THE PERFECT VALENTINE’S
    GIFT FOR YOUR BOYFRIEND
    PROMOTION IN YOUR OFFICE,IF YOU NEED A
    CHILD…SPELL REMOVAL……..GOOD
    LUCK……do contact him directly on
    E-mail agbogunmagichome@gmail.com
    Thank you all.
    Name:Ashley Thomas
    Location: France

  92. my Name is Chelly Harry am from USA,I am here to share this wonderful testimony for what this great man Dr aninato has done for me i have been in a broken marriage for more than 3 years i tried everything possible to bring back my family together but it was very difficult but i thank Dr aninato for coming to change my story and bringing happiness into my home i came in contact with Dr aninato when i had a conversation between 2 people how Dr aninato helped them in solving there relationship problem and they said wonderful things about Dr aninato which then i could not resist it then i walked up to them and told them i am having same problem so they smiled and said Dr aninato would sort it all which then she gave me Dr aninato contact i called him and explained everything to him he just told me not to worry and asked me for some details which i sent to him and he told me that within 48 hours my lover would call me and apologies to me then i kept my hope high believe me before the 48 hours completed was a call from Dick Harry was shocked and when i showed my kids the call coming in they all where happy my lover came back home and went on his knees to beg my kids and i it so wonderful that i could smile and by tomorrow we are having a family reunion party am so happy all thanks to Dr aninato a if you have any kind of relationship problem contact Dr aninato on jehotemple@hotmail.com

  93. My name is Mrs Merlin Lina, Am from UK, I
    had a serious quarrel with my husband due to my parent, my parent never
    like him to be my husband, but i love him so much that i will rather
    die to let him go off me, that was how i met this great man of DR. TEBE
    online, he told me that everything will be fine that he can do a spell
    that will make my parent love him and allow me to marry him without any
    quarrel thoroughly it came to pass my mum and dad love him most than
    before we are now happily married,please help me in thanking him
    for his help, here is the email: greattebespelltemple@gmail.com His web site address is http://greattebespelltemple.webs.com ALSO CONTACT HIM FOR HELP IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEM.

  94. ”I read your special report.I just wanted to thank you for putting that on the internet.I feel better and I know I have a roller coaster ride though hell. I know I will be stronger once I pass hell and turn into a stronger person. Thank you again.You are a good man to help people after what you went through.Maybe one day I can help people like you have helped me…Thanking great zalilu for helping reunite with my family again,i can just forget all that you have done for me.Contact greatzalilu@gmail.com

  95. So you intentionally create a scenario where your own added “influence” will make you “care” more? Wtf believes this garbage? lol…

  96. Hello i want to share my testimony on how i married for the pass 12yrs without even conceiving a baby and i have done all the medical check up and the doctors said am okay yet i was still unable to conceive until one faith days i was on the internet doing some research and i saw a testimony share by someone on how a man call Dr. Ogbefun help her to get conceive a baby after casting a pregnancy for her and i have no option than to also contact this man on this same email which is miracletemple11@gmail.com and to my greatest surprise after he has cast the spell for me and he told me told have sex with my husband and i did as he instructed me and to God be the glory at the end of the month i miss my period and i want for hospital for check up again and the doctor said and two weeks pregnant and i was so surprise and all this all came through with the help of Dr Ogbefun once again contact him miracletemple11@gmail.com or call him on +2347060552255 for your help because he just save my marriage and i know many of you are out there with the same problem don’t hesitate to contact him now

  97. Life is good when you have your love ones around you, I am saying this because when i had issues with my lover i never seen life as a good thing but thanks to Dr.Zabaza whose details are +2348182620374 or via email: zabaza.logan@yahoo.com for helping me to cast a spell that brought my lover back to me within the space of 48 hours. I am not going to tell you more details about myself rather i will only advise those who are having issues in there relationship or marriages to contact Dr.Zabaza through those details above

  98. During my search on GOOGLE for help to get my ex lover whom will got divorced back, i came across this wonderful man called DR.AGBAZARA of AGBAZARA TEMPLE who did a nice job by helping me to get my divorced husband back within 48hours.. I never believe that such things like this can be possible but now i am a living testimony to it because AGBAZARA TEMPLE actually brought my lover back, If you are having any relationship problems why not contact DR.AGBAZARA TEMPLE via email on: (agbazara@gmail.com) OR call him on (+2348104102662),
    Then i promise you that after 48hours you will have reasons to celebrate like me.

    EMPRESS
    from USA

  99. I was married for 4years with out any child,because of this my husband
    start acting very strange at home,coming home late and not spending
    time with me any more.So i became very sad and lost in life because my
    doctor told me there is no way for me to get pregnant this really make
    life so hard for me and my family.my sister in law told me about
    (jehotemple@hotmail.com) from the Internet,how he has helped people
    with this similar problem that i am going through so i contacted him
    and explain to him.he cast a spell and it was a miracle three days
    later my husband can back to apologize for all he has done and told me
    he is fully ready to support me in any thing i want,few month later i
    got pregnant and gave birth to twins (girls) we are happy with
    ourselves. Thanks to (Dr.aminato) for saving my relationship and for
    also saving others too. continue your good work, If you are interested
    to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell
    caster email address is (jehotemple@hotmail.com)

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  101. People don’t need kids, the point of the article having it all without having kids is that people who don’t want kids shouldn’t be harassed by people telling them what they do and don’t need in life, every reason you listed shows me you’re really just trying to find any good in it to convince yourself you made the right decision, you have kids, not a car, quit trying to sell us that this is a good idea, not everyone wants to be a parent

  102. my name is Clark diana and am from USA, I want to use this opportunity to thank my great Doctor okuna
    who really made my life a pleasurable one today. This great man Dr okuna brought my husband back to me, i had two lovely kids for my husband, about four years ago i and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me for one lady. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. I tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, until one day i met a good friend of mine that was also in a situation like me but her problem was her ex-boyfriend who she had an unwanted pregnancy for and he refused to take responsibility and dumped her. she told me that mine was a small case and that i should not worry about it at all, so i asked her what was the solution to my problems and she gave me this great man’s email address. okunadelovespell@gmail.com
    I was doubting if this man was the solution, so i contacted this great man and he told me what to do and i deed them all, he told me to wait for just 48 hours and that my husband will come crawling on his kneels just for forgiveness so i faithfully did what this great man asked me to do and for sure after 48 hours i heard a knock on the door, in a great surprise i saw him on his kneels and i was speechless, when he saw me, all he did was crying and asking me for forgiveness, from that day, all the pains and sorrows in my heart flew away, since then i and my husband and our lovely kids are happy, that’s why i want to say a big thank you to Dr okunadelovespell@gmail.com. This great man made me to understand that there is no problem on earth that has no solution so please if you know that you have this same problem or any problem that is similar, i will advise you to come straight to this great man. You can email him at: okunadelovespell@gmail.com

  103. I NEVER BELIEVED IN LOVE SPELLS UNTIL I MET THIS WORLD’S TOP SPELL CASTER. HE IS REALLY POWERFUL AND COULD HELP CAST SPELLS TO BRING BACK ONE’S GONE,LOST,MISBEHAVING LOVER AND MAGIC MONEY SPELL OR SPELL FOR A GOOD JOB.I’M NOW HAPPY & A LIVING TESTIMONY COS THE WOMAN I HAD WANTED TO MARRY LEFT ME 4 WEEKS BEFORE OUR WEDDING AND MY LIFE WAS UPSIDE DOWN COS OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ON FOR 2YEARS… I REALLY LOVED HIM, BUT HIS MOTHER WAS AGAINST US AND HE HAD NO GOOD PAYING JOB. SO WHEN I MET THIS SPELL CASTER, I TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENED AND EXPLAINED THE SITUATION OF THINGS TO HIM..AT FIRST I WAS UNDECIDED,SKEPTICAL AND DOUBTFUL, BUT I JUST GAVE IT A TRY. AND IN 5 DAYS WHEN I RETURNED TO USA, MY GIRLFRIEND(NOW WIFE) CALLED ME BY HERSELF AND CAME TO ME APOLOGIZING THAT EVERYTHING HAD BEEN SETTLED WITH HIS MOM AND FAMILY AND SHE GOT A NEW JOB INTERVIEW SO WE SHOULD GET MARRIED..I DIDN’T BELIEVE IT COS THE SPELL CASTER ONLY ASKED FOR MY NAME AND MY GIRLFRIENDS NAME AND ALL I WANTED HIM TO DO… WELL WE ARE HAPPILY MARRIED NOW AND WE ARE EXPECTING OUR LITTLE KID,AND MY WIFE ALSO GOT THE NEW JOB AND OUR LIVES BECAME MUCH BETTER. IN CASE ANYONE NEEDS THE SPELL CASTER FOR SOME HELP, HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS;airemokhaspellcaster@gmail.com ……HOPE HE HELPS YOU OUT OUR OPPORTUNITY … CONTACT THIS GREAT SPELL CASTER VIA EMAIL:airemokhaspellcaster@gmail.com

  104. UGH!! never wanted kids EVER. never will want them. EVER. sounds like pure hell to me.

  105. I am Lena Derick i am from United Kingdom, i want to share a testimony
    with everyone about how DR. OSEGHALE brought Joy into my life, me and my
    boyfriend have been dating for three years and we were living happily
    together and also planning to get married, one faithful mourning we went
    for check up because our wedding is very close and the doctor said i am
    HIV positive and my boyfriend is HIV negative because of this my
    boyfriend ask me to live his house and cancelled the wedding and said he
    can’t get married to someone who is HIV positive. i was very sad to
    know that i had HIV diseases and also my wedding was cancelled and i
    love my boyfriend so much that i will never let anything to break us
    apart, so i shared my problem with my mother and she told me never to
    worry and she help me to contact this great spell caster DR. OSEGHALE
    and he told me not to worry that my problem is too small and easy for
    him to solve, and gave me some instructions to follow which i followed
    accordingly, and he told me that he will help me cure my HIV diseases
    and help me bring back my Love within 5days if i follow the instruction
    he will give to me accordingly, after he has finish casting the spell
    for me he ask me to go for a check up in the hospital to confirm my HIV
    status and when i got to the same hospital which i was tested HIV
    positive i was tested negative and i was so surprise to see that i no
    longer have HIV diseases and i went and testify to him and he told me
    that in 2days time that my boyfriend will come looking for me again,
    2days latter i was with my mom and my little brother in the rest room
    when we had a knock on the door and when i open the door i was surprise
    to see my boyfriends kneeling down in front of my mom and my little
    brother asking me to forgive him and ask me to marry him again. and
    today we are legally married all thanks and praise goes to the great
    spell caster DR. OSEGHALE for helping me to cure my HIV and also helping
    me to bring back my boyfriend. YOU CAN CONTACT HIM TODAY FOR HIS
    ASSISTANCE TO HELP YOU WITH HIS EMAIL: droseghalespelltemple@gmail.com OR WITH HIS WEBSITE:http://droseghalespelltemple.webs.com/ OR WITH HIS PHONE NUMBER:08115833352 HE WILL HELP YOU WITH ANY TYPE OF PROBLEM YOU HAVE.

    ….,,,

  106. My names are madela nelson, I am from UK, I never believe on love spells until, I met DR URIBHOR and he was able to bring ex lover back to me just in 48hours, I have been divorced since 8years ago now, but I still loved my man, without him I feel incomplete, and I was looking for a way out to get him back, I emailed Dr and share all my pains and worries to him, but he told me that I should not worry about anything, that I am on the right place, he only ask for some love and return items which I provided he cast the love spell on my ex husband, because I sent his picture and contact to him, in the next 48hours he called me and ask me if I am at home that he would have liked to meet me, then already I know that the spell has already worked, which i said no problem, he came to my place and ask my hand back, that I should forgive and forgive everything that he is now here to take good care of me and to stay with me forever, I am so happy and I will always be saying good words about him, email him at DRURIBHORALTER@HOTMAIL.COM email me for more informations or questions MADELANELSON45@GMAIL.COM call dr on +2348113056884 website druribhorsolutionsalter.webs.com

  107. My name is Sonia, and i live in uk.I have been through hell and pain,looking for a good and real spell caster who can help me get my husband back.I have been scammed so many times,by some who claimed to be real spell casters.until i found the real and great spell caster ADAGBASPIRITUSLTEMPLE who helped me,and solved all my problems concerning my boyfriend who left me since eight months ago.and after that i also took my friend along,who was also having the same problem concerning her husband,who left her since five months ago,and the problem was also solved by the same ADAGBASPIRITUALTEMPLE”. Can’t you see! the real and great spell caster is here,all you need to do now is to contact this same address whenever you are in any problem related to spell casting.It took me a very long period of time,before i could get this real and great spell caster.So right now “adagbaspiritualtemple@gmail.com” is here,and the best for you to solve your problems…….
    adagbaspiritualtemple@gmail.com

  108. Hello my name Sherry, My love is back! After 6 years of marriage, my husband left me with my two kids. I felt like my life is about to end i was falling apart. a friend of my introduce me to this great man called Dr Amba, I contacted him I explained my problem to him, he solve the problem peacefully In just 24 hours my husband come back home to show me and my kids so much love and apologize for all the pains he have cause to the family. thanks Dr Amba you solved my issues, and we are even happier more than before you are the best spell caster, Dr Amba i really appreciate the spell you casted for me to get my husband back in my life i will keep sharing more testimonies to people about your good work Thank very much Dr Amba.in-case you are in any problem you can contact him via email; ambatemple@yahoo.com

  109. I have just found the right one and the greatest spell caster on earth who has brought back my happiness and turned my world around by helping me get my ex partner and helped me get back my life cause i was totally frustrated after 6years of hardship and pain, a friend of mine buzz me on my email saying i should cheer up cause solution has come. At first i was like what are you saying, then she mentioned the name ‘EBOEHI’ and i must thank my savior Great DR EBOEHI who has play a very vital part of my life making me a great person and the most happiest person today you are a great man who is bless by powers with traditional healing spell caster, after Great DR EBOEHI has help me get my ex back he also help me recover what i have lost in past years i must thank him (Great DR EBOEHI) the life he has restored back for me and my happiness. Now i am doing well in my work and also with my partner, Great DR EBOEHI is a very great spell caster you need to know just meet him and with your problem and it will be over.. Email him via: (supernaturalspelltemple@gmail.com)..

  110. My name is janine from east London I want to thank Dr Olumo for helping reconcile with my love how broke up with me after three year into our relationship, I was introduced to Dr Olumo by a friend of mine and ever since my life has been going smoothly. If you are bad situation and you a good guardian and a good man of God I can assure Dr Olumo is the right man to contact. His contact mail address is drolumohomeofsolution@gmail.com and his lines are 08106176523,09035817525. God bless you for reading

  111. My name is Rebecca Miller I’m from united state, i have been married for 4 years and i have a break up with my husband 3 months ago and i was worried and so confuse because i love him so much. i was really going too depressed and a friend directed me to this spell caster Dr. Laco and i made all my problems known to him and he told me not to worry that he was going to make my husband to come back to me and in just 48hours i receive a call from my husband and he was appealing that i should come back to the house. i have never in my life believe in spell and but now it have just helped me and i am now so happy. All Thanks to him and if you also want to have your Husband back to yourself here !! his emailAddress(lacopowerfulspellcaster@yahoo.com) i am so happy to testify of your work and kindness

  112. i am caston by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after six(6) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when I was reading through the web, I saw a post on how this spell caster on this have help a woman to get back her husband and I gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that I will have my husband back. I believed him and today I am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because I am now happy with my husband. Thanks for any one that may need His help here is the email address trustspelltemple4@gmail.com Dr AGBER OR CALL HI ON HIS MOBILE NUMBER +2348100515075

  113. i am caston by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after six(6) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when I was reading through the web, I saw a post on how this spell caster on this have help a woman to get back her husband and I gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that I will have my husband back. I believed him and today I am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because I am now happy with my husband. Thanks for any one that may need His help here is the email address trustspelltemple4@gmail.com Dr AGBER OR CALL HI ON HIS MOBILE NUMBER +2348100515075
    .

  114. i am caston by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after six(6) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when I was reading through the web, I saw a post on how this spell caster on this have help a woman to get back her husband and I gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that I will have my husband back. I believed him and today I am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because I am now happy with my husband. Thanks for any one that may need His help here is the email address trustspelltemple4@gmail.com Dr AGBER OR CALL HI ON HIS MOBILE NUMBER +2348100515075
    ..

  115. PLEASE BE CAREFULLY IN THIS BLOG ABOUT THIS SPELL CASTERS, NOT ALL ARE REAL, I JUST LOST $ 1,000 dollars TO A FAKE IMPOSTER CLAIMING TO BE A REAL SPELL CASTER, BECAUSE I WAS DESPERATELY IN NEED OF HELP TO BRING BACK MY BELOVED HUSBAND BECAUSE I WAS NOT ABLE TO GIVE HIM A CHILD, ALSO TO KEEP MY FAMILY IN PEACE BUT I GOT NOTHING. NOTHING GOOD COMES EASY, FINALLY I HEARD ABOUT THIS MAN CALLED (Dr odia) A REAL SPELL CASTER, A GREAT MAN INDEED SO I GAVE HIM ALL TRUST, AND GUEST WHAT? HE TRANSFORMED MY FAMILY BACK IN JUST A WEEK, MY HUSBAND CAME BACK! THAT IS NOT THE END OF THE GREAT SPELL CASTER (Dr odia) I ALSO TOLD HIM I COULDN’T GIVE BIRTH TO A CHILD AND HE PREPARED A SPELL FOR ME, MY HUSBAND SLEPT WITH ME FOR ALMOST A YEAR NOW. ON THE SECOND WEEK I MISSED MY PERIOD AND I WENT TO A LOCAL HOSPITAL AND THE DOCTOR SAID I AM PREGNANT, I WAS SO MAD I COULD NOT CONTROL MY EMOTIONS IN THE CLINIC. THAT’S HOW I GOT MY FAMILY AND LOVE BACK, LIKE BACK THEN WHEN WE STARTED. IF YOU ARE STILL IN THIS CONDITION PLEASE WASTE NO TIME, CONTACT HIM NOW: (odialovespelltemple@gmail.com ) he is specialized in all kind of spell castling such as: 1. Getting your lover or husband back 2. Spiritual bulletproof 3. Training 4. Money spell 5. Long life spell 6. Prosperity spell 7. Protection spell 8. Get a job spell 9. Becoming a manager spell 10. Get a huge loan without paying any fee spell 11. Getting your scam money back 12. Child spell 13. Pregnancy spell 14. Freedom spell 15. Love spell 16, vanishing spell 17. Invisible human spell 18. Success or pass spell 19. Marriage spell 20. Avenging spell 21. Popularity spell 22. Killing spell 23. Cancer spell 24. Supernatural power spell 25. Madness spell 26. Free house loan spell 27. Production spell of films and movie 28. Hiv/aids spell 29. Tuberculosis spell 30. Loose weight and body spell gambling spell and lot more Email:odialovespelltemple@gmail.com contact him now and your problem will be solved.

  116. Hello, My name is kate lam, I live in South Carolina, USA, I recently had a breakup with my husband about 2 months back. He said we are done that we should move on that he has someone else now. I could not even bear the pain and everything and
    just so unfortunate, I discovered I was pregnant when me and my ex we going through some big fights. I couldn’t tell him I was pregnant because I knew he would blame it on me. I suffered with the secret on
    my own and I could not go through an abortion on my own. The funny thing is I discovered that he had two other girlfriends I was not aware of. I know if I could turn back the hands of time I would do it
    again because i could not suffer everything alone, I almost drop out of univesity because of a guy. On a faithful day after i lost of thought, an old friend told me about a spellcaster with this email
    dremuahelphome@outlook.com who could help me restore my love and have my baby in good terms. I sacrifice everything to make sure the spell was done. and the spell was now the savior. He spell brought
    back my lover after 2 days. My joy, love and happiness is restored because of this spell professor, my baby comes soon.
    you can also contact him if you have any of this problems below.

    (1) Spell for protection from danger
    (2) Spell for magic
    (3) Spell for same sex love
    (4) Spell for healing
    (5) Spell for invisibility
    (6) Spell for riches and fame
    (7) Spell to get a good job
    (8) Spell for strong love and relationship
    (9) Spell to bring your ex back
    (10) Spell for promotion at work

    This man has great powers and is incredibly generous.You can contact his on dremuahelphome@outlook.com or dremuahelphome@gmail.com you can call him on his mobile number +2348143101585 He can help you without stress try him today…

  117. Hello, My name is kate lam, I live in South Carolina, USA, I recently had a breakup with my husband about 2 months back. He said we are done that we should move on that he has someone else now. I could not even bear the pain and everything and
    just so unfortunate, I discovered I was pregnant when me and my ex we going through some big fights. I couldn’t tell him I was pregnant because I knew he would blame it on me. I suffered with the secret on
    my own and I could not go through an abortion on my own. The funny thing is I discovered that he had two other girlfriends I was not aware of. I know if I could turn back the hands of time I would do it
    again because i could not suffer everything alone, I almost drop out of univesity because of a guy. On a faithful day after i lost of thought, an old friend told me about a spellcaster with this email
    dremuahelphome@outlook.com who could help me restore my love and have my baby in good terms. I sacrifice everything to make sure the spell was done. and the spell was now the savior. He spell brought
    back my lover after 2 days. My joy, love and happiness is restored because of this spell professor, my baby comes soon.
    you can also contact him if you have any of this problems below.

    (1) Spell for protection from danger
    (2) Spell for magic
    (3) Spell for same sex love
    (4) Spell for healing
    (5) Spell for invisibility
    (6) Spell for riches and fame
    (7) Spell to get a good job
    (8) Spell for strong love and relationship
    (9) Spell to bring your ex back
    (10) Spell for promotion at work

    This man has great powers and is incredibly generous.You can contact his on dremuahelphome@outlook.com or dremuahelphome@gmail.com you can call him on his mobile number +2348143101585 He can help you without stress try him today…

  118. Hello every one i am Gracy Dumez a German citizen but with my family here i Canada, i had some problems in my marriage because thought i keep some secrets from him before we get married and i was unable to get pregnant because my husband hate it to sex with me that again develop to my filter problem but before we get married he so much love me and i love him as much so i decide to search for a solution on marriage site and from friends and i find so many spiritual doctors then i contacted three of them one after the other but they all disappointed me till my family seeks for divorce and he happily divorce me because he already find another lady. so while i was alone with pains i still look for solution every where till a meet with a friend of mine that just came from Germany then she direct me to this site where i read about great oshogumspelltemple@live.com on how he solve marriage, relationships, family , healing and so many testimony about him then me and my friend decide to contact despite i he told me about the materials that i must provide i just have to do all that he told me because of what other persons said about him. three days after we have done all he ask me to do, he said he have done everything i did not know how it will work because i could even contact my husband again he already block but i was so sup-rice Hashberg call our home line to ask of me. well we are happily married now with one kids but expecting another one soon. My dear contact oshogumspelltemple@live.com if you have any problem that give you pain. contact oshogumspelltemple@live.com today he is helpful and excellent

  119. Hello to every one my name is Stephine George from United states, i want to use this wonderful time of mine
    to appreciate and tell the world what DR OVIA of droviasolutioncenter@gmail.com have done for me, i was
    into a relationship for 3years
    happy with my partner few
    weeks to our wedding he left
    me and went after another
    woman he never came back to me again, i cry all day looking
    for help i have contacted so
    many spell caster but no result so i lost hope in getting him back. So one
    day as i was on the internet
    when i came across a testimony
    on how DR OVIA helped
    someone to get his lover back, so i was confused and afraid of contacting him because i was afraid of being scammed again but later on, due to the way i was missing my partner, i decided to gave him a try and to my greatest surprised, he actually helped and it work
    out for me and in just 24 hours as he told me, my partner that has been way for long sent me and appology text and even called me. Am so happy to
    have my Partner back to my self
    again thanks once again DR OVIA for helping me to bring
    back my Partner. if you are
    passing through the same
    problem
    or any kind of situation at all and
    you think all hope is lost my
    dear try DR OVIA and i believe he can also do it for you. Contact DR OVIA today on his
    email: droviasolutioncenter@gmail.com but you can as well contact him through his website on

    http://droviasolutioncenter.webs.com/

  120. If you are looking for a fast means to get your lover back it is simple just contact this powerful spell caster called Dr.Zabaza through these following means via email: zabaza.logan@yahoo.com And through mobile on +2348182620374 This man is so powerful that he is capable to bring back ex lover and restore broken relationship or marriages within the space of 48 hours and his work is great that a lot of people recommend him on social network even Google recommend him as the best spell caster in Africa..

  121. My name is Rebecca Miller I’m from united state, i have been married for 4 years and i have a break up with my husband 3 months ago and i was worried and so confuse because i love him so much. i was really going too depressed and a friend directed me to this spell caster Dr. Laco and i made all my problems known to him and he told me not to worry that he was going to make my husband to come back to me and in just 48hours i receive a call from my husband and he was appealing that i should come back to the house. i have never in my life believe in spell and but now it have just helped me and i am now so happy. All Thanks to him and if you also want to have your Husband back to yourself here !! his emailAddress(lacopowerfulspellcaster@yahoo.com) i am so happy to testify of your work and kindness,

  122. Lord Lugard, you are indeed a miracle worker.I have tried so many spell casters and psychic after my husband left me and told me to go and see the attorney for the divorce. And Lord Lugard was the only spell caster that could guarantee me an urgent 24hours spell casting.. and he assured me that my husband is coming back.. I trusted Lord Lugard, and its was more than a dream to see my husband back to my life with lots of apologies and love on the 7th of July 2014…. And he was remorseful for all his wrong actions… For sure this is really a miracle temple..make contact with him for help on his Website: http://miracletemplespell.webs.com or through his Email address: miracletemple@live.com… Sir I will share your Testimony all over… Cynthia Rashawn frm Florida…

  123. I never knew people still have powers and make things happened this way. My name is sandra ruths am from American. my boyfriend Slay Scot left me for another girl for three months’ ever since then my life have been filled with pains sorrow and heart break because he was my first love who dis virgin me when i was 21 years old. about two years ago, A friend of mine kido matthew told me he saw some testimonies of this great Dr osauyi that he can bring back lover within some few days, i laugh it out and said i am not interested but because of the love my friend had for me, she consulted the great priest on my behalf and to my greatest surprise after three days my boyfriend is going to call me for the very first time after three months that he is missing me and that he is so sorry for every thing he made me went through. i still can’t believe it, because it highly unbelievable it just too real to be real. Thank you Dr osauyi for bringing back my lover and also to my lovely friend who interceded on my behalf, for any one who might need the help of this great priest here is the email address OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM.com or you can call the great man on +2348100515075 http://osauyilovespell.webs.com.

  124. I never knew people still have powers and make things happened this way. My name is sandra ruths am from American. my boyfriend Slay Scot left me for another girl for three months’ ever since then my life have been filled with pains sorrow and heart break because he was my first love who dis virgin me when i was 21 years old. about two years ago, A friend of mine kido matthew told me he saw some testimonies of this great Dr osauyi that he can bring back lover within some few days, i laugh it out and said i am not interested but because of the love my friend had for me, she consulted the great priest on my behalf and to my greatest surprise after three days my boyfriend is going to call me for the very first time after three months that he is missing me and that he is so sorry for every thing he made me went through. i still can’t believe it, because it highly unbelievable it just too real to be real. Thank you Dr osauyi for bringing back my lover and also to my lovely friend who interceded on my behalf, for any one who might need the help of this great priest here is the email address OSAUYILOVESPELL@GMAIL.COM.com or you can call the great man on +2348100515075 http://osauyilovespell.webs.com

  125. After 9 years in marriage with my hubby with 3 kids, my husband started going out with other ladies and showed me cold love, on several occasions he threatens to divorce me if I dare question him about his affair with other ladies, I was totally devastated and confused until a old friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet Dr. Trust who help people with the relationship and marriage problem by the powers of love spells, at first I doubted if such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, when I contact him, he helped me cast a spell and within 24hours my husband came back to me and started apologizing, now he has stopped going out with ladies and he his with me for good and for real. Contact this great spell caster for your relationship or marriage problem at ultimatespellcast@gmail.com. Goodluck or Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com

  126. Hi everyone act there.. my name is MULLAR SHARRON I AM FROM GERMANY i will never forget the help DR.TRUST render to me in my marital life. i have been married for 5 years now and my husband and i love each other very dearly . after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was searching for help in the internet, i saw many people sharing testimony on how dr.trust help them out with their marital problems so i contacted the email of dr.trust i told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have come to the right place were i can get back my husband within the next 24hours.he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.that they will restored my marriage. to my greatest surprise my husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a place in my heart to forgive him,that he will never cheat on me again. i quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not too hard why don’t you give Dr.trust a try they work surprises because i know they will help you to fix your relationship with your ex partner. i thank god for using dr.trust to save my marriage. contact him via (ULTIMATESPELLCAST@GMAIL.COM OR ULTIMATESPELLCAST@YAHOO.COM) tel +2348156885231

  127. BEWARE OF SCAMS!!! DR MALAIKA ODOGWU IS THE ONLY SPELL CASTER TO TRUST! ( odogwumalaika@gmail.com ) will be of great help to you.
    I never believed in spell casting but After 4 years of dating my hobby, he left me because I lost my womb . I felt like my life was
    about to end I almost committed suicide, i was emotionally down for a very long time. Thanks to the spell caster called Dr malaika
    whom i met online after my friend Tracy told me how he has helped her. She testified about how Dr Malaika brought back her Ex lover
    in less than 3 days and reversed the effect of her lost womb, and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr Malaika’s email address.
    After reading all these,I decided to give Dr malaika a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problems to him. In just 3 days,
    my Hubby came begging. We resolved our issues, and we are even happier than before, am pregnant now to God be the glory.
    Dr Malaika is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man… Come to think of it
    I didn’t pay much and all I have to do is send him little 250 dollars which he used in providing the materials used for the spell.
    Even my pastor said that God works mysteriously, that some men are used by God to help others. If you have a problem and you are looking
    for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems for you. Contact Dr malaika anytime,
    he is the answer to your problems. Here’s his contact; odogwumalaika@gmail.com

  128. Am so happy to testify about a great spell caster that helped me when
    all hope was lost for me to unite with my fiance that i love so much. Am
    from Illinois and my name is Catherine Wilson, I had a fairy tale kinda
    love story and everyone around me call me the lucky one for having such
    a sweet love life but even the best love story can still go sour,
    before things went south I tried my best to make things work with
    everything that I can think of but thing still keeps going south.
    breakup is a bitch and dealing with life was difficult and everyone see
    you like an object of pity. I desperately had to do something and that
    was when i was introduced to this spiritual home, I was told once that
    if you need it bad enough you will go for it. i came across many
    spell casters but they promised and nothing came up but an African
    friend who was my neighbor introduced me to Dr Ogunlade and i emailed
    him with his email : ogunladetemple@gmail.com and he replied me so
    kindly and help me get back my lovely relationship that was already gone
    for 4 months. At first his instructions sounded barbaric but I followed
    them and inexplicable results happened within 72hrs, Am so happy and
    all thanks to the GREAT DR. Ogunlade that helped me with his white love
    powers. If you have any kind of problem email him now for help with

    his email :ogunladetemple@gmail.com

    His web site address is http://ogunladespiritualhome.webs.com/

    Phone number: +2348158143200

  129. This is my testimony about the good work of a man who helped me….My name is maria cooker … My life is back!!! After 8 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our three kids. I felt like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. Thanks to a spell caster called papa ork who i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I was searching for a good spell caster that can solve my problems. I came across series of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. There was one particular testimony I saw, it was about a woman called grace,she testified about how papa ork brought back her Ex lover in less than 72 hours and at the end of her testimony she drop papa ork e-mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give papa a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 3 days, my husband came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before. papa ork is really a talented and gifted man and i will not to stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man…If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve that problem for you. Try the great papa ork today, he might be the answer to your problem. Here’s his contact: orkstarspell@gmail.com Thank you great ork. Contact him for the following:

    (1)If you want your ex back.
    (2) if you always have bad dreams.
    (3)You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4)You want women/men to run after you.
    (5)If you want a child.
    (6)[You want to be rich.
    (7)You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
    (8)If you need financial assistance.
    (9)Herbal care
    10)Help bringing people out of prison
    Contact him today on:
    orkstarspell@gmail.com.

  130. In terms of getting a real spell caster on how to get your lover, I will always advise people to contact Dr.Zabaza because he is not just a spell caster but a spell caster with great powers and effective spells. When i contacted Dr.Zabaza i was having some doubts in my minds but after 48 hours my situation changed for good because my lover came back to me begging me to accept him without further complains. Now i see why people write a lot about Dr.zabaza, In case you don’t have the contact details of Dr.Zabaza they are via phone number +2348182620374 or via email zabaza.logan@yahoo.com

  131. WOW!! Thats all i can really say! Mama Alisha Lura cast a fertility spell for me a few months back and i ask her to recast it a couple of months ago, well today i found out that i am pregnant i am so sucked, could be happier, Mama Lura could you please cast the protection spell for my little blessing now so that he/she is protected 100% to anyone who is reading this, Mama Alisha Lura, she is so very supportive and has helped not only me but so many others, i cannot express how wonderful a person she is and i believed without her fertility spell i would have never gotten pregnant, her positivity and her serenity make the ttc journey a lot less harder when you know that someone like Mama Alisha Lura is helping. Again i am so very grateful to you, Mama Alisha Alura, this baby is truly a blessing. i will be waiting in anticipation for the protraction spell to be cast so that i know my baby will be protracted and healthy while he?she is growing inside me as well as when he/she is born. Thank you again Mama Alisha Lura you are truly the best. You can contact her to for help on getyourexbacksolutionspell@gmail.com or visit her website on http://weeblyalishaluraspell.weebly.com/available-spells.html or call her on +2348115435381

  132. My name is maria johan from Malaysia. My boyfriend left me a month ago and he was leaving with another woman who is 10 years older than him,i feel like my life is completely over. I read over the internet how a spell caster have help several people to get there love back. I have been depress for the past one month and what i need is to get him back and live with him happily. so i decided to give it a try so i contacted the spell caster called Dr.Trust and explain my problems to him and he cast a love spell which i use to get my boyfriend back and now my life is complete and both of us are very happy with the relationship. and i am throughly grateful to this man,his contact email is ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com Thank you very much and i am extremely greatful Tel: +2348156885231.And there is know evil attach to his spell.it will only make your relationship very stronger. …..

  133. My name is maria johan from Malaysia. My boyfriend left me a month ago and he was leaving with another woman who is 10 years older than him,i feel like my life is completely over. I read over the internet how a spell caster have help several people to get there love back. I have been depress for the past one month and what i need is to get him back and live with him happily. so i decided to give it a try so i contacted the spell caster called Dr.Trust and explain my problems to him and he cast a love spell which i use to get my boyfriend back and now my life is complete and both of us are very happy with the relationship. and i am throughly grateful to this man,his contact email is ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com Thank you very much and i am extremely greatful Tel: +2348156885231.And there is know evil attach to his spell.it will only make your relationship very stronger. ………….

  134. I was married to my husband for 5 years we were living happily together for this years and not until he traveled to Italy for a business trip where he met this girl and since then he hate me and the kids and love her only. So when my husband came back from the trip he said he does not want to see me and my kids again so he drove us out of the house and he was now going to Italy to see that other woman. so I and my kids were now so frustrated and I was just staying with my mum and I was not be treating good because my mother got married to another man after my father death so the man she got married to was not treating her well, I and my kids were so confuse and I was searching for a way to get my husband back home because I love and cherish him so much so one day as I was browsing on my computer I saw a testimony about this spell caster DR AISABU testimonies shared on the internet by a lady and it impress me so much I also think of give it a try. At first I was scared but when I think of what me and my kids are passing through so I contact him and he told me to stay calm for just 24 hours that my husband shall come back to me and to my best surprise I received a call from my husband on the second day asking after the kids and I called DR. AISABU and he said your problems are solved my child. so this was how I get my family back after a long stress of brake up by an evil lady so with all this help from DR AISABU, I want you all on this forum to join me to say a huge thanks to DR AISABU, and I will also advice for any one in such or similar problems or any kind of problems should also contact him his email is (aisabulovespell@gmail.com) he is the solution to all your problems and predicaments in life. Once again his email address is (aisabulovespell@gmail.com)

  135. SPIRITUALLY YOUR PROBLEM HAS BEEN SOLVE, ODUDU RICHES OCULTIC IS HERE TO PUT A SMILE IN YOUR FACE.

    Email: oduduriches.ocultic@oath.com

    This is the season and the hour of your total transformation and perfection.As the resurrection power manifests in your life today,the world shall see and marvel at the awakening in your life. Resurrection is a supernatural and glorious change of position no matter the depressing and un-dignifying position the enemy has placed in your life you are arising out of that position today you will experience a dramatic change, Your days of suffering are over, Odudu Riches Ocultic is here to make a change in your life…

    SPIRITUAL STRENGTH OF RICHES,SECRET OF MAKING MONEY,MAGICAL POWERS OF INVISIBILITY.If what you want is not in this list then state what exactly you want i will prepare it for you.choose any of the talisman i will send you the cost price and payment information.please can you send this to your friends.CONTACT Dr. Odudu Spiritual REPLY ON THIS Email: oduduriches.ocultic@oath.com

  136. I never knew people still have powers and make things happened this way. My name is Dirce Ries am from Finland. My boyfriend Charles Morgan left me for another girl for three months’ ever since then my life have been filled with pains sorrow and heart break because he was my first love who dis virgin me when i was 21 years old. about two years ago, A friend of mine Philipper Claw told me that she saw some testimonies of this great PRIEST KUVUKI that he can bring back lover within some few days, i laugh it out and said i am not interested but because of the love my friend had for me, she consulted the great priest with his email { Kuvukispelltemple@hotmail.com } on my behalf and to my greatest surprise after three days my boyfriend called me for the very first time after three months that he is missing me and that he is so sorry for every thing he made me went through. I still can’t believe it, because it highly unbelievable it just too real to be real. Thank you PRIEST KUVUKI for bringing back my lover and also to my lovely friend who interceded on my behalf for any one who might need the help of this great priest here is the email address { Kuvukispelltemple@hotmail.com }

  137. The only way to have rest of mind in your relationship or marriage can be guaranteed if you contact Dr.Zabaza who is the best spell caster in the world and his details are through email: zabaza.logan@yahoo.com or call his mobile number on +2348182620374. It was true that before i contacted Dr.Zabaza there was a lot of good reviews written about Dr.Zabaza all over the internet which motivated me in contacting him, which proves to be successful and through the help of Dr.Zabaza my broken marriage has been restored..

    NAME: WARNER

    COUNTRY: ARIZONA USA

  138. My name is Taylor Borg,All thanks goes to Dr.Trust for saving my marriage from toning apart.i feel so grateful and only have good words about a powerful spell caster named Dr.Trust who helped me bring back my wife. We had been apart for 4 months, at first I was thinking if I was doing the right thing by contacting a spell caster, but I so much love my wife and won’t give her up for anything in this world. I decided to contact Dr.Trust through his mail address I found on several testifiers messages online,and I told him about my situation, he laughed and told me my wife will be back to me in the next 48 hours. I felt it wasn’t going to happen at first until my wife called me and was so eager to have me back more than anything on earth.. Now we are together and she cant do without me,and both of us are happy. I feel so happy sharing this testimony because there was no negative act attached to his work. His work was smooth and fast. Thanks to Dr.Trust for bringing back happiness to my life. I swear with my life that Dr.Trust is a man to trust and take your problems to. You can contact him on his e-mail if you really truly want your love back. dr.(ULTIMATESPELLCAST@GMAIL.COm,.

  139. Hello everyone,i am here to testify on how DR John helped me…. June 2014, I saw a post on a particular site sharing testimony on how the great spell caster brought back her ex. Initially,i thought the post is unreal but i later had a second thought and i contacted the spell caster as instructed by the post. I have no option than to try my best because my husband left me with my three kids for another woman after a minor misunderstanding. Me and my husband got married over six years and we lived so happily. At a certain time my husband started behaving strange to me after we had a minor misunderstanding of which i begged for forgiveness. Before i knew what was going on, he left me and go for another woman who works in the same office with him. When i saw the post, i contacted the spell caster on his email and he told me not to worry that my husband will come back to me in two days time once he finish casting the reunite spell on him. To my greatest surprise, my husband came back to me begging for a second chance after a maximum days of five back and we are living happily together as one family again. I want to use this medium to let everyone here know that this is real and if you are out there having this same problem please kindly contact Dr. John, the great spell caster via his email {PROPHETBAZ34@YAHOO.COM}because he can done the unexpected.
    Wish you all the Best too!

  140. My name is paul zerek.I do not know how to thank GREAT ZABA for bringing happiness back to my family. i do really wanna tell the whole world that there is a spell caster called Dr.Zaba that is so real and genuine. I never believed in any of these things but when i lose my wife for 4 years, i required help until i found a great spell caster, and he cast a love spell for me, and he assured me that I will get my wife back in just 48hours but i was in doubt, and after the spell has been cast, 48hours later, just as the spell caster said, my phone rang, and surprisingly it was my wife who has not called me for the past 4 years, and she made an apology for the pain she has caused me and she told me that she is ready to come back home for me. Dr.Zaba really made her to know how much i loved and needed her. And he also opened her eyes to picture how much love we have to share together. With this testimony right now i am the happiest man on earth and our love is now stronger than how it was even before. I will keep sharing this testimony all over the world. All thanks goes to Dr.Zaba for the good work that he has done for me. Here is his email address if you are having the same or similar problem contact him now because he is very powerful and he will always help you. Believe him and do all he ask you to do and never doubt him in any way.contact him for help,he is ever ready to help you. Makiaderspelltemple@hotmail.com his website http://makiaderspelltemple.webs.com .

  141. My ex an I broke up about 3 years ago and he was my first love so it was pretty difficult to get over. Our relationship was immature but there was no denying this crazy connection. Since our split I have only seen him 4-5 times each time we say hello chat a little he smiles at me and we part ways with my heart left fluttering. His ex girlfriend and I work together and since she has started at my job all she does is talk about him. For the past 3-4 months I’ve been having these dreams where I’m either just meeting him and all in love all over again or he has a new girlfriend and I’m fighting for him to be mine like I had done after our break up in the past. I had though I was over him but her constantly talking about him, me seeing him recently, and these dreams have me questioning my true feelings.email extremlovespell5@yahoo.com,

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