Modesty Only Works When it Isn’t Distorted

Arleen Spenceley

Arleen Spenceley

Arleen Spenceley is author of the book Chastity Is For Lovers: Single, Happy, and (Still) a Virgin (Ave Maria Press, 2014). She has a master's degree in rehabilitation and mental health counseling from the University of South Florida and a bachelor's degree in journalism from the same university. She works as a staff writer for the Tampa Bay Times, and blogs at

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5 thoughts on “Modesty Only Works When it Isn’t Distorted”

  1. I too agree that woman should dress modestly but men and woman are both at fault when it comes to the way our minds work studies or not men have to train their eyes to not look and think improperly about women and like wise women should dress with respect to themseves and others. I have difficulty with visiting my husbands family because to them walking on a nudest beach is funny, and my sister in law seems to think that low cut shirts are the only thing on the shelf to buy at a store. it makes me and my husband un comfortable knowing that there is no resect from women for the husbands who are trying to be gentleman and not think of other women sexually. I cringe to to know that my husband has to go work in an area with three universities in the area. Most of the younge women attending the schools are so caught up in having attention from these new found young men that they will dress in next to nothing to get a look. it’s sick really.

    I appreciate this article thank you for writting it!

  2. Thanks for writing this post. There are so many facets and nuances in this topic, it can be a bit overwhelming! I think too that in our culture, women are presented with the idea that the only way they can present themselves is through the (over)exposure of their bodies. The phrase “sex sells” has taken deep root and colors our thoughts. How many girls feel that the only way they can be attractive and to get the attention of a guy is to show a bit more skin and present themselves as sexual objects? And how many men have gotten the idea that women who dress a certain way are looking for sex and that it is what they should be looking for? We have this loop that keeps feeding itself. I think you’re right. Modesty has been distorted to become some “old fashioned” concept where women where corsets and blush when showing some ankle.

  3. Quite some good points in there….. However I’d like to ask about your view on Islam with the hijab and full body covering of women?…. Since they use the same argument as this to be pro covering up of women entirely.

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