My life is about to change. In about one month, I will be getting married to the love of my life. To say that things are already getting hectic would be an understatement. Between working, moving out of my parent’s home into a new apartment and assisting in wedding plans (let’s be real here, my fiance has done most of that) it feels like I’m running on a treadmill at high speed.
It has been a constant battle to not allow the planning of a wedding to overshadow the preparation for a life of marriage. After all, a wedding lasts one day, while marriage lasts “till death do us part”. Friends think Caitlyn and I are set for marriage, in part because we have dated in the “proper way” i.e, we built a solid friendship with each other before we dated, have not lived together before marriage, have served together in leading retreats and frequently go to Mass together.
I am thankful for their confidence in the both of us, but I would also like to tell them, hey, we still need your prayers, support and advice because we do not have this marriage thing figured out.
Preparing for marriage is not just a box you check off on your to do list. It is an ongoing process. Tasks I had taken for granted such as washing dishes, arranging my stuff in a room or going to Sunday Mass at my parish, are all about to change when my soon-to-be wife moves in after we are married. My way of doing things will give way to our way of doing things as we learn the art of compromise.
I have seen glimpses of this as my fiance has been over to the apartment for meals and dates. We have begun to realize that in even the most menial of tasks, we can often do things very differently, which can lead to tension. Through these experiences, we have begun to realize that part of marriage is about compromise and choosing which battles to fight over. After all, is life going to really be that much better if she does one more thing the way I would like, instead of her way? The idea that true love means that you love someone unconditionally, even if they do things differently than you has begun to set into my sometimes dense head. Paul says this rather well in 1st Corinthians 13:5, “(love) does not demand its own way”.
Despite the lesson above, and other occasional insights I have had into the true meaning of marriage, I admit that as a 23-year-old man, I often doubt my ability to adequately provide, protect and pursue my soon-to-be wife in marriage . When these thoughts occur, I take solace in the fact that, although marriage can be challenging, God has provided the tools for us to succeed by means of the ultimate trump card in the game of life, the grace of the sacrament of marriage.
Even though neither one of us in perfect, on October 20th, 2012 God will pour out his blessings abundantly on us so that no matter what obstacle is presented to us while we are married, we will able to overcome it, not through our own power, but through his grace and love. Hopefully, this grace will help lead each other to our eternal home in heaven with God one day.
So as I am on the cusp of entering a new chapter of my life, I ask you, dear readers, for your prayers that Caitlyn and I may be properly disposed to fully receive the graces God has for us in the sacrament of marriage and not get bogged down in the wedding details. Our lives as they have been will soon end, and a new chapter will open. It is exciting and nerve-racking all at once. There are so many wonderful things to look forward to but also many fears of the unknown. Again, I would be grateful for your prayers in the days ahead as Caitlyn and I prepare to be joined together in the wonderful bond of marriage.
Category: Married Life