So I survived my third portfolio review with Disney recruiters. I just came back from a mad dash to New York to show my portfolio… again. I had a lot of people praying for me, including St. Joseph who is the saint in heaven I recruited to pray for me during unemployment. Anytime there is something big in my life that I don’t know how to handle or even get my mind around my dad tells me to pick a saint in heaven who can pray more perfectly for my situation to help me out. When I didn’t know if I should live in Providence or away from it I asked Mother Theresa to be praying for me, and low and behold Providence has been an insanely fruitful time and my apartment and surroundings have been a blessing I couldn’t imagine then. When I told my Dad how I’d picked her he said it was a great idea since she’d looked for so long for a home for the poor herself. I didn’t know that and I came to realize sometimes your prayer partners pick you because they are compassionate to your situation. I’m always in awe when I realize that Jesus loves me and that ALL of heaven is rooting me on. I still don’t understand to the letter how this whole communion of saints things works, all I know is that I’ve been a humble witness to it’s reality, being daily blessed by the saints in heaven and on earth. The family of God is a great, great comfort.
But back to St. Joseph. Sometimes when I’m having a bump in the road I think of someone who had the same bump only much worse. St. Joseph is just so full of courage and steadfastness. Take the woman who was overshadowed by the Holy Spirit and will bear God’s child into your home. Not exactly on his life plan. Leave all you know and go to Egypt. Not something I think he ever thought of doing. Raise someone who is already the full expression of Holiness. How do you do that?! Anyways I said, hey St. Joseph if anyone let the will of God work wonders it was you so look, I’ve always wanted to work at Disney but if I don’t get in I have no clue where my heart’s desire is so can you please pray that my heart will be open to what He wants. K. Thanks.
Over the last few weeks during my prayers I’d remember St. Joseph sometimes and sometimes not, but I did tell my Dad that St. Joseph was raining Jesus with prayers. So when I arrived in New York and I texted my Dad that I was alright he said he and my mom had entrusted me to St. Joseph. Adorbs, they remembered.
I spent the rest of the day waiting in the hotel lobby for the portfolio review to start. My prayers went something like, “God, please, please, please, please, I want this so bad… Jesus, please, please, please. I’m not going to lie I want this so bad.” Break for granola bar snack. “Please, please…” I was basically a head case going on three hours of sleep.
I met with the first guy. He was very nice. He said my work was nice. And he told me where all the holes were in my portfolio. He wanted to see more range, etc. Thanked him kindly, gave him my most winning smile, felt deflated and decided I should go in line to meet with the other disney guy. I hesitated for a moment, but I didn’t come all the way to New York for ten minutes so I waited. Second guy was very nice, upbeat and California. He opened my portfolio and said, “Oh yeah, I remember your portfolio, you were a finalist for the training program last year. ” My mouth opened, my eyes widened. All I’d received was a thank you, but no thank you, work on your draftsmanship, love, Disney. Anyways, my surprise showed and we chatted about what I need to add and what he wanted to see. I told him I’d apply again in August. I left the room. All the emotion of the day banging around in my head.
I was so close. I really want this. Please, please. I’m so sleepy. I want my mom. Maybe I can get an earlier flight.
I asked the lady at the front desk where to catch the subway that would take me to the Airport and she said it was just a couple of blocks over. I spotted the subway I’d have to walk down, and then I’d be out of New York and at the Airport. Only I stopped beside it and I saw this…
You see that monogram on fence, SJ? That’s right, baby that is a statue of Saint Joseph, holding baby Jesus. And for the first time all day I was able to relinquish all my what if’s and and what if not’s and I just stood there in awe of the moment. God and the hosts of angels and the saints in heaven knew who I was and what I needed and they had heard and whatever happened it would be just fine. I gave thanks that God took the trouble to care about my inner drama. He awakened me with a kiss instead of a slap (which was warranted, since sometimes the overdramatic need a slap). Let me remind you that it was Brooklyn not Rome, there isn’t Jesus or Saint statue on every corner.
I was so elated I didn’t even go down that entrance I just kept walking to the next one and then realized that hey, I could’ve gone down that one. And then I just kept thinking how cool the whole thing was all the way to Terminal 3. Thank God and thanks to all who took the time to pray for me.
Fabiola Garza is an artist. She going to go back to drawing and watching Richard Castle declare his love to Kate Beckett. find her work and ramblings at www.catholiccolors.com