In 25 days our lives will change forever. In 25 days, the past 25 years will flash before our eyes and Cristina Rivera and Andrew Pocta,as we once knew them to be, will no longer exist. We are about to begin living the most radical lifestyle this world knows – a lifestyle that revolves around a life-long commitment, constantly open to life and to the sacrifice of one’s will for the good of the other. We are about to take up our cross together….in a way that we never knew before.
I know we don’t understand it yet (we’re still not married, obviously) but we do realize that it will be difficult…in fact, the most difficult mission that God will present us with….but He will grant us the Grace to love as He loves…..as long as we choose to receive it.
It’s crazy to think that from that day forward our every decision, action and even thought will need to be focused on the well-being of one another. When it comes down to it, we will become responsible for the holiness and in some mysteriously profound way, the salvation of one another!
…..and the hundreds-of-thousands of hipsters with their vintage-inspired fashion – fighting for animals rights, gay-marriage rights and a religion-free society - think that they are going against the current?!
This post-modern society we live in (you know, the one where people are generally defined by their college degree, how much money they make and how good they feel about their sex life) teaches us to worship the pleasure of each moment, never limiting ourselves from new experiences/pleasures/feelings….in other words – the EXACT opposite of life-long commitments. No wonder the people of this generation shudder at the thought of marriage!!!
People here in New York City look at us like we are crazy. Although they have the best-of-intentions, (at least I try to give them the benefit-of-the-doubt) people love to remind us:
Why weigh yourselves down by something so burdensome as marriage? Why promise life-long fidelity to someone who might change in 5-10-20 years?! And to make that vow without living together to try-it-out first?! You’re soooooo young! What if his/her farts smell a little too foul for you!? It will be too late!!!
And the list goes on and on.
As Spanish Philosopher Franseco Torralba Roselló wrote in his assessment of Post-Modern society and it’s defining values (or total absence of:
“The idea of a life-long commitment, something beyond fantasies, appears as TOO big a challenge for the postmodern man. It’s too much for their fragile will. For, ‘No one can guarantee them of what their future feelings may be, of their professional potential, or of the adventures and excitements that tomorrow could bring.’
Instead, it seems a better option for post-modern man to protect their current free and personal will, a life free of long-term commitment.
Commitment is seen as a total denial of one’s free-will, of being ‘tied-down’ to just one person forever, and it’s lived out as a jail-sentence and blamed as something that has ‘destroyed one’s creativity in life’.
Postmodern man runs from his past, fears the future and lives intensely the present, because he knows that ‘nothing lasts’.
The old style of marriage – ‘until death do us part’ has been replaced by the new temporary cohabitation style ‘Let’s see if it works out’.“
Read the rest of that translated article here.
Maybe it’s hard to see the hidden agenda of post-modern society…..but living here in New York City has made the fruits of that agenda very visible and obvious to us. Let’s be even more clear – with more than 40% of couples cohabiting before marriage, an off-the-charts abortion rate in the center-of-the-world and a world-wide crisis of sexual morality, its no wonder people of our generation shudder at the thought of marriage.
But does this mean that we should give up? That we should throw in the towel or live our lives in fear of “those people” who disagree with us? Absolutely not. In fact, it’s that much more of a call to live out our vocations to the fullest. In love (of course), yet publically and unashamed. We must know exactly what it is that we are up against. Please understand, I’m not referring to the people but rather the aspects of society that the enemy has taken a hold of. A society that sees life-long marriage, the vow of celibacy and a life of service – as the opposites of freedom. We can’t fight to redeem the culture if we don’t know what is wrong with it!
I’d hate to sound like a doomsday preacher (and the Good Lord sent me Cristina to constantly help bring me back to earth when I get too caught up in my ranting) but the time is coming when the simple belief that “Marriage is between one man and one woman” will get us martyred. Do Cristina and I think that we will be killed for believing this? No. But if we think that we won’t see this in our own country in the near future, we are fooling ourselves.
As we countdown the last 25 days before our wedding, the Lord seems to be calling us to understand more deeply the importance of our public testimony as huband and wife. In this joyful time of preparation, He is reminding us that the Love we are called to share as spouses, will have an everlasting effect on our generation and the generations to come.
Check out our blog and please pray for us as we make final preparations for our wedding (totally done by hand, from the center-pieces and the flower arrangements all the way down to our reception music playlist!)