Never Without Hope

Who hasn’t experienced it in their relationships? You want to reach out to someone you love when he is struggling, so you go out of your way to help, only to have every attempt of assistance rebuffed. You try again…nothing. Taking Jesus’ advice (Matthew 18:15-20), you ask another who also loves the person to go with you…still no response. You go the additional step and take it to the community, only to be met by your friend’s denial and accusation that you are judging them!

Do you want to give up? Do hear those around you saying, “Forget it. he’ll never change.” It doesn’t help in these moments to hear Jesus say in the Gospel, “If he refuses to listen even to the church (community), then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector.”

There you go; you’re off the hook. Jesus just said write ‘em off…or did he?

“Treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector” (18:17).

Although it is true, the observant Jews of Jesus’ day avoided all interaction with Gentiles and tax collectors – and Matthew’s primary audience was Jewish Christians – we have to take it a bit further and look at examples of how Jesus himself dealt with those outside the cultural norm:

  • Jesus healed the Centurion’s servant (Matthew 8:5-13).
  • Jesus healed the Canaanite Woman’s daughter (Matthew 15:21-28).
  • Jesus called Matthew the tax collector to be one of his ‘inner circle’ (Matthew 9:9-13).

If Jesus crossed the lines and helped these classes of people, what is he asking of us, then?

It is no accident that Jesus goes on to speak of prayer (18:18-20). You have an obstinate friend that will not listen to reason? Pray. When all else is exhausted, we always have recourse to pray for the person. This is where our Christian duty lies.

This is also why we need to be careful in using the word, “Never”; it is an expression of hopelessness. It is giving up. To say, ‘never,’ is to write off the person. If we were to write off for good those obstinate souls, it would be the same as saying there is no hope for them. It may seem from our perspective, that a person is “too far gone” to be brought back. Thank goodness the saints understood, we always have hope in our prayer, but, we have to be willing to persevere in it.

Imagine what our world would be like if, for instance, Saint Monica gave up on her prayers for her son, Augustine (an intention she prayed for 30 years)? Or perhaps, we can take heart in the wisdom of another great praying saint, Catherine of Siena:

You must never turn back for anything at all…For often during the time scheduled for prayer the devil comes with all sorts of struggles and annoyances – even more than when you are not at prayer. He does this to make you weary of holy prayer. Often he will say, ‘This sort of prayer is worthless to you. You should not think about or pay attention to anything except vocal prayer.’ He makes it seem this way so that you will become weary and confused, and abandon the exercise of prayer. But prayer is a weapon with which you can defend yourself against every enemy. If you hold it with love’s hand and the arm of free choice, this weapon, with the light of most holy faith, will be your defense.

~ St. Catherine of Siena, The Dialogue, 65

We find the key to our perseverance like that of the saints summed up in the letter of Saint Paul to the Romans, “Brothers and sisters: Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another…Love does no evil to the neighbor; hence, love is the fulfillment of the law” (Romans 13:8,10). By our love for others, especially those who are far from us, we witness our belonging to Christ – in our love. And, when we unite our love with others in prayer for wandering souls, we will find Jesus himself in our midst praying with us (Matthew 18:20).

It is here, in our faith and hope that the Lord hears our prayers, we find a desire to persevere in supplication for those in most need of God’s mercy. May in this hope, we refrain from thinking the word, ‘never,’ recalling to ourselves the words of Jesus: “For human beings this is impossible, but for God all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26).

On perseverance in prayer, by Saint Alphonsus de Liguori

 

Sr. Lisa Marie

Sr. Lisa Marie

Sister Lisa Marie Doty is a Canossian Sister. She enjoys giving retreats and vocational talks to teens and young women, and providing on-going formation to her Institute’s Lay Canossian Associates. She is a director of youth and young adults at Our Lady of the Annunciation Church in the Diocese of Santa Fe, New Mexico, and the national director of the Association of Lay Canossians, and regional coordinator of vocations for her religious family. She also gives retreats and talks on various religious topics. In her spare time, she enjoys graphic design, learning guitar, taking walks and making rosaries. Her website is Nunspeak.

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6 thoughts on “Never Without Hope”

  1. I was thinking exactly along these lines today after hearing the Gospel. Even Jesus recognized and condemned the actions of the tax-collectors and Gentiles (though I think he was harsher on other groups, like Pharisees), however, he invited them to himself and a lot of them came. We must be careful not to just accept the sins of our friends, but also to encourage them through good example and charity. This is particularly timely for me.

  2. Thank you, for your comment, Nathaniel. It is true, we can be in danger of inadvertently condoning a sinful behavior we witness in a friend, by our silence. If our friend knows we know of their behavior, and we do nothing, he might take the cue that it is acceptable behavior. We have a responsibility, out of love for our Lord and for our brothers and sisters, to correct them in charity and humility. God bless!

  3. I Have Learn more humility and to be even more Humble and forgiving to evenj all that Persecute me and have badly abandon me for my walk with JESUS and His True Teachings, by the poist prayers , things you have shared Sister Lisa. You were sent by GOD to help ,us on thease Pages, I truely believe this…I need your Prayers and Help Sister lesa, more then ever. ASk GOD to Help me Learn more and to keep it as ive always had trouble learning in school a lot. I dont always Grasp the right words and cant speak high educated words as you or others so sometimes i flub up on and in some things I realy mean to express. Will you ask GOD for this help…you say its never too late , and no one should be written off by us. It should be the same for us wantting to at least use the right wording on expressing GODs Good News and Holy Word… I spell manny a word wrong, and can only hope that almighty GOD will Let others at least see the jester of what im really saying…Humbly in Heart to GOD and you …please keep me in Prayer to live out the rest of my life for GOD JESUS the CHRIST, Holy trinity, and Blessed Mother Mary!!! Amen n Amen… You are my true Inspiration out here besides GOD you know… I whole heartedly Trust you more then any soul on Earth. GOD seems to show this to me about you… You are in SPIRIT on earth MY BEST True GOOD CHRISTIAN FRIEND!!! Amen an Amen…Prayers go out to you for you and with you Daily. I Love you as i do Teresa the little flower or bernardette, or other saints. and Please I Know youll messege back saying your not…but I wont listen to you, ill listen to GODs Heart that you are spechial. And I want to be an example because of what I see in Your great love FOR GOD , and all. So on this earth youll remain MY INSPIRATION as Manny felt with sister teresa. GOD Bless you sister Lesa….I Believe GOD Wantted me to read on you see you , and hear about you, and have you for my mentor , my Inspiration on how to be a GOOD Shepherd…. Pray a Little one for me Tonight Good Sister of JESUS CHRIST Please……..Brother in CHRIST ………….Ty…

  4. “It is no accident that Jesus goes on to speak of prayer (18:18-20). You have an obstinate friend that will not listen to reason? Pray.”
    I’ve never actually thought about the link between the beginning and the end of this passage. Mainly because I haven’t heard it like that before (verses 15 to 20). I’m used to hearing the whole chapter or just verses 18-20. And to be honest, I’ve always thought verses 15 to 18 are very hard. Telling people they’re doing something (morally) wrong isn’t easy and as I’m far from perfect, I feel like I shouldn’t be the one telling them. Just skipping right to prayer is much easier. But then again, to say it with the words of one of my favourite characters: “you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy”.

  5. Joseph R. Martone Jr.

    Great information Sr. Lisa, Owe nothing to anyone,except to love one another. That doesn’t mean we alway’s like them though. Sister you do seem to have a very Saintly way about you as Tyler Lorge brings out. I’m glad I found this information, best to you, God bless.

  6. Thanks for the commentary – I’ve been in a similar situation (only on the “accused brother” side of it). My wife was unhappy at our level of “closeness” and proceeded to use the Matt 18 process on me – and was repeatedly frustrated by others in the church who didn’t see it exactly her way. It really leads to bitterness and hurt – on both sides – when the process is used to try to get someone “in line” with a view one has that might not specifically be sin. The gospel continues to call you to be more Christlike – and Christ never set up murky guidance – he was clear.

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